To the woman who shouted “you’re too thin!!” to me on my run today...

[Waytoomuch82]

You made me feel utterly shit.

Yes I’m underweight. Mr body shape is awful (very thin arms and legs but a large belly relative to my size (26/27 inch, which for someone 17 BMI is out of proportion).

I hate my body. I feel sub conscious.

Hence out for very early run in a wood. St John’s wood (you were alone, one dog, red top). I saw you and smiled, you had a kind face, but as I ran pass you muttered something. I turned and said “sorry?” And you said “gosh, you’re too thin. You must stop running”.

Immediately deflated. Immediately feel crap.

It would not have occurred to me for a second to have said to you “you are podgy, you should be running not walking”, why did you feel you could say this to me.

Stop shouting out random criticism and “advice” to people.

@Lockheart

The misogyny and violence in these replies to an offhand comment from a stranger are really quite alarming.

"Rancid cunt, bitch, cow, lucky she didn't get a slap, jealous hag".

Is that really acceptable?

No. But it’s also not acceptable to comment on a strangers appearance.

And yes, I think she probably was jealous of the OP. Was she overweight herself I wonder?

You were out for a run, not entering a swimsuit competition.

You'll see her again no doubt, I'd be tempted to go up to her and calmly tell her that you're not obliged to fit any of her bodily preferences. Very rude and sexist woman.

I’m sorry this happened. You’re beautiful and worthy. Don’t let the opinion of someone who spreads hate on the street cause you any pain. She’s not worth it.

No. But it’s also not acceptable to comment on a strangers appearance.

Is calling someone a rancid cunt or a jealous hag really equivalent to saying "gosh you are too thin. You must stop running"?

Of course it wasn't any of her business and there was no need at all for her to make the comment, but the overreaction here is something to behold.

@Pittapitta

I’m sorry this happened. You’re beautiful and worthy. Don’t let the opinion of someone who spreads hate on the street cause you any pain. She’s not worth it.

Spreads hate??? Really?

I don't think anyone should be "jealous" of someone who's thin& underweight anymore than they should be of someone who obese. Neither should be aspired towards. There's a whole spectrum of healthy weight between these two extremes.

But to be shouted at “you’re too thin” out of no where, threw me.

She didn't do this OP, tho? By your own post?

It's still not right. But I think you're now misrepresenting it?

@Lockheart

I agree

The woman did not shout at the OP. She muttered something, the OP stopped and asked her to repeat it. Still not on though.

@CodenameVillanelle yes really. Looked at her body and shouted something mean. That’s not spreading love is it.

@GilbertMarkham

or speaking from concern?

You don't speak out of concern to someone who's a complete stranger running past you in a park .... No-one normal would think that appropriate.

Absolutely

No she shouldn't have said anything, itv was definitely rude, but it feels like you've posted this to get a slew of 'keep doing what you're doing' comments so you can continue to justify an unhealthy pattern to yourself. BMI 17 is very low, exercise is good but cardio like running is not going to help you achieve a healthy weight from your current position. Eating lots of protein and strength training will. I know when I gain weight, I drop calories in and increase cardio it's a guaranteed way to lose weight, which if you are already unhealthily under weight, isn't a positive thing at all.

[quote Pittapitta]@CodenameVillanelle yes really. Looked at her body and shouted something mean. That’s not spreading love is it.[/quote]
A) you're too thin isn't mean
B) it's rude, but it's not hate
C) who says we are obliged to spread love everywhere we go? Sometimes we should spread truth.

Obviously her comment came from her own insecurities.Dont let her ruin your day.Im petty though and would have shouted an insult back tbh.

She did shout
Sorry not clear
Not aggressive shouting
But it was shouting because we were in a field and I’d run by heard a mutter, crowd on running as I turned to say sorry? By which point 30 foot minimum away
But she wasn’t remotely aggressive

She shouldn’t have said anything but it sounds like she did it with concern

Bollocks. Then she should be having chats with smokers and overweight people too shouldn’t she? But I bet she isn’t. If it’s not acceptable to tell an overweight person to lose weight then it’s just as unacceptable to say it to a thinner person. Plus, look how many illnesses cause weight loss. That woman is a disgusting person.

Anyway I’ll leave now.
Want to focus on weekend and not this
Thanks to all

Perhaps the issue is not the muttered comments of a stranger but that

• You are underweight. This can cause problems in the longterm - eg early onset arthritis, so you might want to get some help as to whether your low weight might affect your health.
• You dislike your own body.
• You have an exercise regime that may be contributing to the problems of being underweight.

Sometimes the comments of a stranger - though upsetting - can be helpful in terms of getting one to look at one's life.

Eveb if it was from a place of 'concern' as some people have said it's still completely unacceptable to comment on someone else's body in a negative way like that. No one has any idea about the reasons or situation someone is in that leads to weight gain or loss. I also highly doubt it comes from a true place of concern from a stranger. This woman was in the wrong. Sorry you had to experience that OP, we're all different and that's the way it's supposed to be. Try to not let it ruin your day x

Sometimes the comments of a stranger - though upsetting - can be helpful in terms of getting one to look at one's life

Curious- do you also feel this way about obese people being told to lose weight by strangers?

You were in a field in St John's Wood? Do you perhaps mean Regents Park?

As a West Hampstead native I know of no fields anywhere near!

Her behavior is about as appropriate as telling a podgy man/woman next time you’re in McDonalds to put down their burger. Or, sorry, “muttering something under your breath” as you walk past them.

I’m sorry she made you feel bad. It seems she was acting from concern, but it’s not OK to comment on a stranger’s body, EVER. It sounds to me as though you may need a bit of advice re body image. Have you thought about contacting your GP? Have you spoken to friends or family about how you feel? Exercising is brilliant, but perhaps you’re overdoing it, or not approaching it in the right way. Hope you start to feel better soon. On a positive note, it’s generally much better for your health to be thinner, rather than fatter, as long as you manage to eat well and stay strong.

It's not real concern, because the lady doesn't know her. If I saw someone who looked very thin - ill thin, then I would feel worried for that person. Maybe the woman had been through a situation in her life that triggered her response, making her feel strongly about it. Who knows. We never know why people beave the way they do.

She was wrong to say anything. It's understandable it would have upset you.

@CodenameVillanelle

I think it is a hateful thing to say. And no the truth is not more important in this instance as it was a stranger going out of her way to make another stranger feel rubbish. That is hate. It’s concerning that when I tried to say something nice to the op after she said she’s upset (if you agree or not that she should be upset is by the by) and you’ve gone out of your way to pick apart what I’ve said and tear it down. Sometimes being kind is more important than being right.