To the woman who shouted “you’re too thin!!” to me on my run today...

[Waytoomuch82]

You made me feel utterly shit.

Yes I’m underweight. Mr body shape is awful (very thin arms and legs but a large belly relative to my size (26/27 inch, which for someone 17 BMI is out of proportion).

I hate my body. I feel sub conscious.

Hence out for very early run in a wood. St John’s wood (you were alone, one dog, red top). I saw you and smiled, you had a kind face, but as I ran pass you muttered something. I turned and said “sorry?” And you said “gosh, you’re too thin. You must stop running”.

Immediately deflated. Immediately feel crap.

It would not have occurred to me for a second to have said to you “you are podgy, you should be running not walking”, why did you feel you could say this to me.

Stop shouting out random criticism and “advice” to people.

@bedjolly
My grandad used to say the exact same thing to me pretty much every time he saw me. He acted like I looked like a ghost (I really don't). Used to drive me up the wall.

@DownThePlath I know. It's like what should we do just change our skin colour?!

What she said was not kind or respectful.

But the detail with which you have described your proportions in your OP, in particular highlighting the size of your stomach, does not sound normal. I don't think that posting on the internet for support in criticizing the comments of a stranger is the help you need.

Have you sought help for being underweight? Do you understand why you are underweight? You don't sound at peace with yourself, perhaps a chat to a GP about these issues might be a good idea.

17 BMI is very very low - agree with PP that building some muscle would give you a better shape.

I'm assuming the 10% above pressed the wrong button?

OP, you keep on running and don’t let this jealous hag put you off. If I saw you I might think you are thin but it wouldn’t be judgemental (in fairness I probably would not notice) and I wouldn’t say anything. In fact you might even inspire me to take a step in getting my lardy arse into shape. I am sorry you feel crap after this woman’s comment.

Thank you all
Really
Lovely weekend planned so going to squash to back at thoughts
But it was 7am, I thought I’d be “safe” in the sense that I wouldn’t feel self conscious

But to be shouted at “you’re too thin” out of no where, threw me.

But feeling brighter now

Thanks

@PicsInRedwhat the hell has that got to do with the situation?

The woman in the park was obviously socially inappropriate, but the OP is here right now and asking for the sort of encouragement I've seen elsewhere online before. She has quite clearly stated that she is both "too thin" and also "underweight". I think there is more to this and that it would be extremely dangerous to say "you're golden, crack on". Extremely dangerous.

The misogyny and violence in these replies to an offhand comment from a stranger are really quite alarming.

"Rancid cunt, bitch, cow, lucky she didn't get a slap, jealous hag".

Is that really acceptable?

How rude. Reflects on her not you. What’s wrong with some people.

Yanbu

It was a shitty thing to say

It's sad you feel the need to state all your body measurements etc.

Had many a comment over the years, the worst was in a staff meeting when the head of dept said you really need to eat more. I am 5ft 5 and weighed around 8.5 stone. I was at that point too young and inexperienced with the absolute mine field which is women’s weight and some women’s attitudes towards each other to fully comprehend what was going on.

Aren't pretty much all "Professional" runners very thin anyway?

I am always much more concerned about women out running alone very early. We live in a semi rural area where we see many young women doing this with not another soul in sight. Much as it shouldn't be the case, I do worry about the dangers of doing this. They could so easily be attacked/grabbed by someone passing in a car etc. No we certainly shouldn't have to consider such things but it's a very sad fact of life that we really should.

@Waytoomuch82

Thank you all Really Lovely weekend planned so going to squash to back at thoughts But it was 7am, I thought I’d be “safe” in the sense that I wouldn’t feel self conscious

But to be shouted at “you’re too thin” out of no where, threw me.

But feeling brighter now

Thanks

But she didn't shout at you OP. You said so yourself.

I really don't think it's healthy to overplay events like this. Unless you got your OP wrong and she did shout, and not mutter.

Good on you OP. Ignore.

Can't believe the people questioning whether she shouted it or muttered it. Does it matter if I shout at somebody who's fat, or if I just say it quietly as they pass? No, it's not OK to pass comment on a stranger's physical appearance, no matter what you may be thinking, and it doesn't make a difference whether you think they are too thin or too fat.

When I was underweight, it never failed to astound me how many people think that a) I'd not noticed somehow and b) it was acceptable to make incredibly rude comments about it - things they'd never dream of saying if I was a bit overweight (or maybe they would!)

She was obviously out of order. There is an anorexic woman at my gym and she has a lovely smile which I always return, whilst wanting to cry to see her sweating on the stair machine. It's not my place to tell her she's damaging her body.

Is there a reason you run over any other exercise? It's true as PP say that weights would be much better for you than running. It would help balance you out and also strengthen your bones which if you are underweight is very important.

Awful. I never understand why anyone thinks it's ok to comment negatively on someone's appearance.

She's probably tried and failed to lose weight and is defensive about it, so tries to bring others down.

@Rafflesway

Aren't pretty much all "Professional" runners very thin anyway?

I am always much more concerned about women out running alone very early. We live in a semi rural area where we see many young women doing this with not another soul in sight. Much as it shouldn't be the case, I do worry about the dangers of doing this. They could so easily be attacked/grabbed by someone passing in a car etc. No we certainly shouldn't have to consider such things but it's a very sad fact of life that we really should.

Professional runners are lean. Not thin. They have lean muscle and low body fat.

@Valkadin

Had many a comment over the years, the worst was in a staff meeting when the head of dept said you really need to eat more. I am 5ft 5 and weighed around 8.5 stone. I was at that point too young and inexperienced with the absolute mine field which is women’s weight and some women’s attitudes towards each other to fully comprehend what was going on.

I was 5'5 and 8 and a half stone when I was around 16 and never felt happier. Weight really does go in different places because I still had a bit of a belly but I don't mind it haha. Some people are so rude.

@ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords

Can't believe the people questioning whether she shouted it or muttered it. Does it matter if I shout at somebody who's fat, or if I just say it quietly as they pass? No, it's not OK to pass comment on a stranger's physical appearance, no matter what you may be thinking, and it doesn't make a difference whether you think they are too thin or too fat.

There's a difference between having abuse shouted at you and someone muttering to themselves.

It's still none of their business but the language does change the situation somewhat.

I know a few women who are very underweight and they are not anorexic. They actually find it very distressing as people are very judgey.

She was very rude. However, if I saw someone who was clearly very underweight doing what I might consider an excessive amount of exercise I would find it worrying. I would never say anything though.

Ignore her and don’t let the comment upset you, she had no right to say anything, people’s opinions can only get to you if you let them.
There is a lady who runs near me she is very thin, I spoke to her (not about how thin she is) and she told me people call her names but she has health issues after chemo and running helps her mental health. No one should pre judge or body shame, they don’t know your situation. If you see her again completely ignore her she isn’t worth your time.