To get my almost 15 year old condoms

[EveOnline2016]

He is sexually active as he has told me.

Dad says I’m encouraging but I rather he be safe even if I am encouraging it by getting them for him.

If hes old enough to have sex hes old enough to go buy condoms without mummy providing them for him

Do it. I personally think it's more worrying having a son as if he gets someone pregnant it's out of his hands. If my DD got pregnant she'd have the choice to go ahead or not. You can't stop him having sex, just educate him on safe sex.

Not bothering to reply to any posts, OP? Just to the kids are in the same year at school and haven’t yet shagged anyone else?

If your child is still 14, about to turn 15 that must make him one of the very eldest in his school year, so is the other child 13?! That’s really bad.

Do it, why not. Put them in his underwear drawer.

‘Buys them with his own money’, what money? His pocket money from his mummy? On whose property are they shagging? Grim.

It's not grim if teenagers are having sex together - far from ideal but definitely not grim.

I don’t get where people are getting the ages/ school years from.

He is currently 14, so presumably in year 9. In September he will go into year 10 and turn 15 so among the oldest in the year group.

Or he is in year 10 already but the youngest and due a birthday in a few weeks.

Either way not really relevant, the fact is the girlfriend is also in the same school year so appropriately the same age.

Yes nearly 15 is early but not abhorrently so, it is within the normal range. And he is doing the right thing to talk about contraception. 2 14/15 year olds are not going to be prosecuted for statutory rape! That would not be in the public interest at all.

the alternative is far more damaging
Which alternative? Buying condoms partly addresses some of the risks with underage sex but nowhere near all of them. There's still lots of opportunity for damage.They can still get pregnant even using condoms. The girl still might be vulnerable. Statistically, they are both likely to regret that they had sex so young.
If a parent finds out their young teen is having sex, then they need a much more far-reaching and encompassing response than 'I'll pay for the condoms'.

There’s no such thing as ‘statutory rape’ in the uk.
Sounds like your year group numbers are English, different bits of the uk don’t number them like that, so I was obviously going by the child’s age and the fact that it’s august, meaning he’s probably the very oldest child in his year group.

Yeah it is grim. Discussing why seems like it would attract paedos keywords so let’s not. I was the same age as this kid, so yeah, I speak from experience.

We have a difference of two years in ages in DS' class because some pupils deferred and some didn't. We don't know how old OP's DS' gf is but in our school being in the same class as a 14-yr-old who is almost 15, means the girl could be any age from 12 to 15.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Is he not using them already?

I’d be very unhappy at 14 he was doing even sure how he is given SD etc is in place.

Gosh do we have to drag SD into everything? It’s important yes. OP thread is not about SD. Also if OP will have a bigger problem on her hands if her DC says he has got somebody pregnant.

FFS how can you have sex and SD stop being an arse.

Statistically, they are both likely to regret that they had sex so young

What statistics are those?

Many sexual health services run young people only clinics. I'd encourage him (and suggest the girl he is with) to go along to one of these. Not only will he be able to sign up for a C card, he will be accessing advice about sex, consent and relationships. He could also access STI testing at the same time.

If he’s apparently responsible enough to be having sex then he should be responsible enough to buy/source his own condoms. That’s the discussion I would be having with him. Providing them for him is taking away some of that responsibility.

@EveOnline2016 how long is it until his 15th birthday and his girl friend’s birthday? Like PP have said, it is illegal and I’d be really concerned if the girl is 13 or only just turned 14. Are they currently using contraception? Have they been tested? If he’s grown up to have sex then he’s grown up enough to go to the clinic (maybe pastoral at school) to get condoms. Does your DS know about consent and STIs?

If my daughter was involved I'd very much like a phone call from the boy's parent. It'll be the girl's and her parent's problem if she gets pregnant. She needs to go on the pill if this is going to continue.
You as parents and your son have an awful lot to be responsible for and you don't seem to be taking that seriously.
You should be asking the question 'Do I tell DS 14 girlfriend's parents that they are having sex?'.

It's way too young but since that ship has sailed - provide condoms, ask if his gf has spoken to her mum too and, if not, encourage this, limit shagging opportunities.

I loved the SD comment

I’d bit them for him and tell him well done for already using them but to suggest a back up of hormonal contraception such as depo if his partner is willing (ie suggest she discuss with parent or sexual health clinic)

Id also be gutted my 14 year old was having sex

I used to buy my kids condom's when they were teens.
I just used to chuck them in my trolley with the weekly shop and then pop them in their rooms.
No words needed after the initial ' talk '.
Fortunately, no unplanned pregnancies either.

This is the second thread in two days where people seem to think it's wildly unusual and deviant for teenagers to be thinking about or having sex. Did not of you do anything other than kissing until you were at least 16 then? Or do I have a wider friendship group made up of statistical outliers?

The people I know mostly lost their virginity (stupid construct) between 14 and 18, with - I'd say - the average being in year 11, so 15-16.

No more of the lower end of the age bracket crowd regretted it than the higher end. I'd say 80% were doing other sex acts before that, from 13 upwards.

I'm not saying parents should encourage it - obviously - and I'm not saying there weren't elements of peer pressure in there which an issue, of course, and something parents should be discussing with their kids.

But I'm gobsmacked that some people think this is so surprising and unusual. And even more surprised at the parents who think pretending it doesn't happen will magically mean he won't find the time - he will. A half-built new build estate, the bus, parks, an abandoned pub in the countryside - these were all places my inventive schoolmates were getting up to stuff, on 'evenings at their best friend's house' or in school lunchtimes. If you want them to be safe, talk to them. Putting your fingers in your ears and turning away is just going to result in a less informed child.

What do you mean by sexually active? Does he have a girlfriend? How old is she?
OR is he having random sexual encounters? Now that's extremely dangerous territory that should not be happening.

What do you mean by sexually active? Does he have a girlfriend? How old is she? OR is he having random sexual encounters? Now that's extremely dangerous territory that should not be happening

There's a handy button now that lets you read all posts by an OP in a thread. It's useful cos then you don't waste time asking a bunch of questions that have already been answered.

You never tell the girls’ parents. You have no idea of the dynamics in their home. If worried contact school or the duty team of SS. Generally neither will be interested in consensual sex between children of this age when almost the same age.

Did some of the posters just appear on the planet as fully formed grown ups?