To get my almost 15 year old condoms

[EveOnline2016]

He is sexually active as he has told me.

Dad says I’m encouraging but I rather he be safe even if I am encouraging it by getting them for him.

At my son's school a girl was pregnant whilst in year 10, the Dad was in year 9. All those kids who had been bragging about being sexually active realised it could have happened to any one of them. This is the reality. She kept the baby.

As a mother of a son, you need to explain to him that if his girlfriend does become pregnant he has no say in whether she keeps the baby. It is her body and her choice.

I would also point out that there are other ways to satisfy someone without PIV.

And statistically she is more likely to have had her birthday Sept-July than in August. So is more likely to be older than him.

I'm not saying it isn't young to be having sex, it is. But if they are, that's that, and it needs to be safe.

I had sex at 14, I don't think it was necessary or ideal, but I felt grown up enough. And then I didn't have sex with another partner til I went to Uni. Didn't have a close enough boyfriend. Oh, and I have a badly paid but very 'revered' job, and a specific national award...teen sex didn't affect my education or career at all.

There’s no point being mortified about it, it’s not going to prevent them having sex.

I’d prefer my DD (15) to wait until she’s older but if she doesn’t, I’d rather be sure she’s having safe sex.

I know a young man who had two children born to him at 16, two different mums

What's that got to do with anything? I know multiple people who were in sexual relationships at 16, and none had kids until they were married and in their early 30s. What's your point?

I was in one at 14. He was also 14. Nothing our parents could have said would have stopped us doing it, especially once we started. Having said that, we were always careful. We stayed together until we were 18. Neither of us had kids young.

I gave my 15 year old daughter a packet of condoms when she was in a relationship. They were both the same age and it is much better to be prepared and plan in advance. We have also had many conversations about consent. I don’t think of this as encouraging her, just making sure she can make good choices.

14 is too young. It's just too young. And i wouldn't want to be complicit in anyone's 14 year old daughter having sex.

But the horse has already bolted. Still. I couldn't provide condoms to a 14 year old.

Oh, god, don't tell her parents.

If she is as able to talk to her parents as your Ds is to you, they will already know.

If not...you have no idea what hornets nest you are poking, and your relationship with your ds will be gone in a flash.

If she is 15, she is deemed able to consent. She is able to get contraception from a clinic or her GP. She will know this (they tell them in schools) - or encourage your DS to tell her.

Talk to him about how sex is illegal at his age but if he insists, he must be having safe sex, not only to prevent pregnancy but STD’s. He may already have condoms of his own but definitely sit him down and discuss contraception. His girlfriend/the girl he is sleeping with may claim to be on some form of hormonal contraception but really, you can’t trust anyone 100% at that age to remember to take it, plus the risk of STD’s by not using one. Having an open and frank discussion will make him know he can talk to you if he ever needs advice. As for your husband, I’m sure he’d rather his son was safe than the possibility of a pregnancy or a STD.

100% do it.

My kids aren't old enough yet but I've already told DH I will start buying condoms when they start senior school. Stashed in the bathroom. Their friends can help themselves too.

I would MUCH rather have safe, healthy, teenagers than ones with STDs and children of their own.

Between 1 in 5 and 1 in 11 teens have had sex before 15.

That's between 10% and 20%

It isn't as unusual as many people seem to think.

@StareyCat

I misunderstood this at first and thought your condoms were almost 15 years old.

Yes @StareyCat exactly what I thought too at first glance!

Oh and OP YANBU IMO, I think it’s good you and your son are able to discuss these things. Like another poster said you are not encouraging sex, if he is going to do it you just want him to do so safely.

Speaking as someone who was 14 when she first had sex and was pressured into it by a slightly older boy. He was almost certainly abused and I think that I was abused too.
It's too young.

would MUCH rather have safe, healthy, teenagers than ones with STDs and children of their own*
Completely agree. I was sexually actively at that age -but was pre AIDS so we only thought about the pregnancy aspect -we had no education about other STDs.
Sex is absolute natural and a good thing as long as consensual and mutually respectful. My own DC have had partners stating overnight since mid teens.
.

When I saw this, I initially thought you wee going to use some condoms from 15 years ago

He’s going to do what he wants with or without your ‘support’. So help him keep safe. Absolutely. Good on you. No one WANTS their kids to be parents or end up ill at 15 for being irresponsible...

Yanbu, he will have no questions asked free access to them at school and various other health clinics too.

You're correct
He is going to have sex regardless and it's better if he feels OK talking with you about it rather than hiding it

Before you give him some condoms, sit him down and explain the risks:
Contraception (failure rate and how to use them properly).
Fatherhood and the effect of pregnancy on a child and how dangerous it can be (physically and mentally).
STDs
Consent
Explain the risks for both boys and girls.

Take him to a sexual health clinic and get him tested. This will make the risks “more real” to him. You can get free condoms there.

So two 14 year old children are having sex? What are you doing to stop them? It’s illegal for a reason.

Sex is absolute natural and a good thing as long as consensual and mutually respectful.
Between ADULTS, not between children.

Technically you could be charged for providing the condoms

No you couldn't

No I would not provide condoms to a child.