To say no one really trusts their partner 100%

[anxietyaunt]

I don’t think I’m a particularly suspicious person but I don’t think anyone can ever really trust anyone, let alone a partner, 100% in life. It doesn’t mean you can’t give the benefit of the doubt, but I think given there are moments we can’t even really trust ourselves it would be naive to believe we can trust another person.

Nothing in particular has sparked this. Just curious to know what others think. AIBU.

YANBU

Nope. There are lots of people i trust 100%, family and friends, but especially my partner. I can't imagine marrying someone who i didn't trust completely.

Do you mean trust then to be faithful or trust them to behave in a kind and generous way?

No I don’t trust my partner 100%. I’m not untrusting but I know often people do stupid things and no one is 100% who they say they are or think they are.

I trust my DH 100%. Otherwise, what is the point? He trusts me wholeheartedly too. And so he should, I would NEVER be disloyal to him.

I can hand on heart say that I have complete trust in myself, so I disagree with you on that, too.

no one is 100% who they say they are or think they are

I am

I trust him with all the usual stuff, other women , money , he always has my back . BUT I dont trust him with my heart. Maybe its self preservation. I think only I can rely on myself but it dies hold me back slightly.

I don’t even trust myself 100% 😂

Put down the cookie, MCP...

But actually, I trust DH more than I trust anyone else in the world.

What do you mean by trust? Do you mean trust him to put the toilet seat down or trust him not to cheat on him or trust him not to run away with the company money?

Let me say that I trust him as much as I trust myself- we've been together for 37 years and I think I have a fair idea how he is likely to behave in any given situation. Of course, theoretically, he could suddenly go mad and go on an unexpected killing spree- but then, so could I? If we're talking that level of complete departure from all previous behaviour, then so could I.

All I can say is that in 37 years- some of them very tough indeed- I have never known him not to ring true. Except if we're talking about that toilet seat...

Well when you consider how many people promise to love and honour till death due us part, then 50% of them split up.
So no I don’t think you can completely trust another person and I say that as someone who has been married for 32 years with a husband who has never caused me concern.

I think if someone trusts some 100% they are very naive. Like MCP, I cant even trust myself 100% to do what I hope i should do.

When my marriage broke up through his adultery, 2 of my friends said they knew their husbands wouldn't do what mine had done. Yep.....you know the rest

I presume you mean infidelity?

I don't trust dp to clean the lav like I do, no. I don't trust him to think in the supermarket "oh that looks nice, we'll try it"

I trust him with my life and my daughter's though.

Infidelity- I don't think about it. Truly.

I completely 100% trust him. More than my own parents. He's the only one who has never let me down. We talk about everything. Even when we fuck up we talk about it immediately and figure out a plan to fix things without judgement.

It's us Vs the world.

Like Scorpio said, I can’t trust him to remember to put the bins out, not eat the last biscuit or clean all of his whiskers bits out of the bathroom sink.
But the big stuff? Fidelity, money, being a responsible father?
Absolutely.

I was let down over and over by my parents and I think when you can’t trust your own parents, you will never fully trust anyone else. I had counselling etc but I personally think that can only go so far. It just can’t undo that amount of damage. When I act trusting in a relationship, that’s what it is, an act. So me personally, no I trust no one. However I do believe that some other people do trust their partners 100%. Although I obviously only can take their word on that, I’m not privy to their inner thoughts.

I’ve never understood how anyone could ever trust anyone 100%.

I didn’t do that even when i was a kid, let alone as an adult.

Depends what you mean by trust? Do I trust him 100% not to cheat on me, yes. Do I trust him 100% not to fart in bed, no.

I agree with pp , I can’t trust my dh to remember something I told him but I can absolutely trust him 100% that he’d never commit adultery . As fo people not being able to trust themselves what’s that all about , I’m perfectly capable of trusting myself .

All the posters saying they trust their partners 100% not to cheat are being very naive.

Or maybe we just found decent men.
I wouldn't cheat. Is he naive too?

@formerbabe
All the posters saying they trust their partners 100% not to cheat are being very naive

That is a very cynical way of thinking. I am not naive in the slightest. I just have a decent DH, simple as that. I don't want to live my life with a level of mistrust in my head, I doesn't even cross my mind to think that way, so I choose to trust wholeheartedly.

I trust my DH 100% not to cheat but I don’t think that’s the same as believing there is zero chance he ever would. I think it highly, highly unlikely or I wouldn’t have married him-but I know that it can happen in the marriages you would least expect it so rationally I know that it is possible, albeit extremely unlikely (he’s a very decent and honest person and rarely goes out without me anyway, a bit of a home bird!)

But, I choose to live my life with him based on total and complete trust, never questioning or stopping him doing anything. I believe wholeheartedly that I can trust him and if I were to find out one day that wasn’t the case then I would deal with it at the time. For me I couldn’t exist in a marriage where we don’t invest 100% trust in one another. But that’s a choice and a behaviour, not a blind ignorance to the possibility (however remote) of one day being let down.

DH is the most unlikely guy to cheat, quite awkward, can't flirt, very sensible, great husband etc. But I don't trust him 100%, I think I'd be a fool to trust him completely. I'm not jealous and I don't actively do anything to prevent him being unfaithful, if he does cheat then our relationship will be over and that's that.

I would say I trust him 98% to be the kind, sensible, faithful man that I think he is. Sorry but I do agree with pp's that anyone who trusts their DH 100% is naive, and I've never been cheated on or hurt.

I've known many women who've trusted their husband 100% not to cheat and they have...do you think those women married those men thinking that they weren't decent men? I don't live my life in a state of permanent anxiety thinking my dh will cheat on me...but we're all human, humans are fallible.

I agree OP.

I find it absurd all these people saying they trust their spouse 100% not to cheat and surely that means if the unthinkable does actually happen to them that they will take it a lot harder and be in such utter shock?

My husband is great and has never given me any cause of concern whatsoever regarding other women in the years we have been together.
That doesn't mean I trust him 100% to never cheat on me. As we are human, not robots and are complex beings.
Therefore if he did actually cheat on me I wouldn't be in total shock. Disappointed, yes. Sad, yes.