To ask your opinion on this #WorldBreastfeedingWeek debate

[Napqueen1234]

Sorry if this sounds childish referred to social media etc but interested to canvas opinions.

A friend of mine shared a post on Instagram re world breastfeeding week about how it’s the best thing for baby and mum, so proud she could do it, perseverance etc. She’s a very zealous breastfeeder generally (and why not!) and was a good person to go to for advice when I was struggling although did say she was ‘disappointed I had given in’ after 2 months. Anyway!

Another friend then shared a post about Fed Is Best (she struggled bf and switched to formula and has always found it difficult seeing bf women, a lot of guilt and sadness that I feel she needs to process somehow) and how WBW is just another stick to beat ‘failed breast feeders’ with and anyone who wants to breastfeed gets loads of support from midwives etc and generally society nowadays so it isn’t needed.

Both have since messaged me about the other stating they are upset (we are a close group of 4, the other doesn’t have DC so I suppose I’m mediator). Friend one feels like this is one week where BF should be celebrated and acknowledged is better. Friend two feels mother’s should be more understanding to the feelings of those that couldn’t breastfeed and not ‘brag’.

I have remained fairly moderate and tried to calm things but who do you think is right?

YABU- it’s world breastfeeding week! It’s best let them have their moment.

YANBU- it can make women feel very sad who didn’t bf or who ‘failed’ so social media posts should be mindful of this.

@1Micem0use whilst I am sorry that was your experience, the amount of misinformation and lack of education on the whole point of this week is astounding.

breastfeeding week is defined as follows;

World Breastfeeding Week (WBW) is a global campaign to raise awareness and galvanise action on themes related to breastfeeding.

this is ALL themes relating to breastfeeding - both hardships and celebrations and everything in between. you CAN use this week and any other time to start the conversation.

a lot of people on here making comments when they havent even bothered to look into what this week is really for and what it means.

@1Micem0use absolutely.

They need to get to grips with diagnosing tongue tie at birth. It’s a total cop-out to let it run and run until it’s too late and mothers who wanted to BF have missed their chance.

@Piglet89 what was that spent on? If I can ask, genuinely, what you spent that much on but still were "not at all prepared"?

Over £300 NCT. 2 all day classes preparing for birth. One half day on BF. No mention of any adversity we could expect or management of expectations. I have an incredibly busy job and I don’t expect to have to do research when a service for which I’ve paid a fortune should be spoon feeding it to me (excuse the pun).

£200 “lactation consultant” (give me a break; waste of money).

£45 hire for Medela Symphony. It arrived broken when my son was around 10 days old and I honestly thought I was gonna have a breakdown. Thanks, Medela.

Also @AlmostAlwyn, just so you’re aware, putting phrases like “not at all prepared” in inverted commas like that comes off as quite patronising. Maybe not your intention, but that’s the tone that’s coming across.

Cool story, bro.

@Ethelfleda are you fucking joking?

@strawberrypip

oh fuck offfff to all those moaning about ff rights, its breastfeeding week which is intended to normalise and celebrate BREAST feeding.

yes, we know fed is best and no I am not against formula feeding but give it a rest will you and let those who breastfed be proud of what they did with their bodies, they fucking deserve it. not everything about breastfeeding is intended as a slight against those who didnt or couldnt, get over yourselves.

This.

The voices of bf mothers get totally drowned out by the voices of ff mothers because there are so many more of you!

[quote Piglet89]@Ethelfleda are you fucking joking?[/quote]
Well, yes. Clearly. Did that not come across?

Aaah, the passive aggressive wavy face. What the fuck is even the point of it?

I tell the story of how I struggled with BF, a matter which is still painful, and the best you can do is demean it with a pointless, inarticulate comment.

People like you disgust me.

@Piglet89

I used quotation marks because I was quoting you. Not sure how else I should have done that...

Box says don't, it has instructions for preparing.
Again formula pack as a guide, a simple search online and you will find a wealth of info.
Every manufacturer has info on their website.
Test on your arm. Body temp preferably. Common sense surely
They aren't needed, again common sense and the massive amounts of info online as it's all the same.

So in other words, FF mums should have to seek out all info themselves yet BF info handed out, what honestly felt like forced to take

Why cant we get info on both ways of feeding from the midwives at an appointment?
Why cant we get help in hospital after birth with FF?

On common sense, im sure you've heard the saying "if only common sense was more common"
Why you think thats a saying? just cos something common sense to you, dont mean it is to all.

@Piglet89

Aaah, the passive aggressive wavy face. What the fuck is even the point of it?

I tell the story of how I struggled with BF, a matter which is still painful, and the best you can do is demean it with a pointless, inarticulate comment.

People like you disgust me.

Why on earth do you think my comment was directed at you?? A thread full of hundreds of responses and you think I aimed my comment at you?? Wow. Just - wow!

@Ethelfleda

Um...maybe because my comment was the one directly before? It’s not exactly an unreasonable assumption. In the absence of any more specific direction to your comment, people will make reasonable assumptions.

Without knowing what you actually meant by “cool story, bro”, I googled the phrase and understand that:

"Cool Story, Bro" is a catchphrase often seen in image macros as a sarcastic response on message boards or in comments to posts that are deemed boring, pointless or too long to read.

I’ve actually found the discussion quite interesting. If the above is indeed what you actually mean, and you find people’s posts on this thread too “boring, pointless or too long to read”, might I suggest you just leave the thread and do something you deem more worthwhile?

@1Micem0use absolutely. My second DC was diagnosed tongue tie at birth- appointment immediately booked for it to be rectified...in 6 weeks. The nearest one. I battled through in agony and with shields and the woman at the appointment said she couldn’t believe I was still going. If that’s the service how on earth is that supporting BF when the first 6 weeks are so vital? I did BF but my supply was never great and just disappeared during a period of stress (lockdown so also no support) and I had to change over. If the TT could have been snipped a lot earlier who knows if I could have had more success.

@Napqueen1234 that's really sad you had to wait so long, where I live the support is so much better. I knew ds had a tongue tie from day 2 but tube fed so not an issue, didn't bother us at first while bf until around 4 weeks when I mentioned at the bf support group and we had a referral and appointment in less than a week.

The disparity in services is shocking. Bf support is one of the few things my little bit of the north east has got right, but 40 miles further north I have friends being let down badly.

I paid through the roof for a private TT appointment, the NHS appointment would have taken 3-6 weeks to come through. Most of my friends have paid privately, because the NHS service is abysmal in diagnosing and cutting tongue ties.

@OrangeSlices998 exactly!

[quote Piglet89]@Ethelfleda

Um...maybe because my comment was the one directly before? It’s not exactly an unreasonable assumption. In the absence of any more specific direction to your comment, people will make reasonable assumptions.

Without knowing what you actually meant by “cool story, bro”, I googled the phrase and understand that:

"Cool Story, Bro" is a catchphrase often seen in image macros as a sarcastic response on message boards or in comments to posts that are deemed boring, pointless or too long to read.

I’ve actually found the discussion quite interesting. If the above is indeed what you actually mean, and you find people’s posts on this thread too “boring, pointless or too long to read”, might I suggest you just leave the thread and do something you deem more worthwhile?[/quote]
Have you not been here very long? If I was referring to your post, I’d have quoted it (like I am doing now) But I didn’t. Therefore, it is a ‘reasonable assumption’ to make that it was in response to the OP.

My interpretation of ‘cool story, bro’ is that I am saying that the OP has essentially fabricated the original story to pit BF mothers against FF ones. It’s been happening on here for years and years. It’s the ultimate debate...

So... perhaps you should think before you start ripping into another poster who wasn’t even talking to you in the first place??

And I will click on and read and post on whatever thread I want. I have just as much right to post here as you do. YOU were the one that made this about me... I could suggest that perhaps you just scroll past next time??

And may I also suggest that you calm down a bit.

My interpretation of ‘cool story, bro’ is that I am saying that the OP has essentially fabricated the original story to pit BF mothers against FF ones. It’s been happening on here for years and years. It’s the ultimate debate...

Make that clear then, so we’re not all wondering what exactly you mean.

I had my first baby 13 years ago and my youngest 6 months ago (with 5 in between) and I can’t believe people still fall out about this.

Breast feed them if you want to. Formula feed them if you want to or can’t breastfeed. Don’t feel bad about either , because social media aside, no one actually gives a fuck how you feed your baby.

I too wondered what 'cool story, bro' meant and to whom it was directed. I expect most people did. The OP was 21 pages ago, so it was a little ambiguous.

Make that clear then, so we’re not all wondering what exactly you mean

Erm... no!
How about you don’t spend your time going about the place thinking that everything is about you?? And don’t start attacking people based on your own incorrect assumptions? And then when you’ve realised that YOU have made a mistake, don’t be an arse about it?

Somethingsnappy
that’s a fair comment. And I will take that from you because you just thought ‘oh I wonder what she means by that’ but then, y’know, carried on with your life - unlike piglet who felt the need to launch a full scale attack and proclaim that ‘people like me’ disgust her!! Slight overreaction on her part...

Deep breaths everyone! . Actually, Ethelfleda, I usually wonder the same thing as you about any BF/FF thread that comes up. On the bright side, there have been some really insightful comments made on this thread and it hasn't descended into chaos yet, so we'll let the OP off!