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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
happinessischocolate · 05/08/2020 22:48

I think you're right on this, we are insured but it for private and personal use. I'm going to send this.

Glad you've found a reason to refuse her, and a legitimate one at that.

Personally I think I'd have dismantled the yurt and the pizza ovens and just rented her the land 😁

Harls1969 · 05/08/2020 22:52

Wow, she's getting that for free and she's not even inviting you? CF!

DJB33 · 05/08/2020 22:54

Only would repeat what others have said. You aren’t being sensitive, she is totally in the wrong and you need to stand up for yourself or charge her.
Even if you weren’t friends and just vaguely knew each other, any decent person would still invite the hosts if they’re allowing to use their land for free.

Michellelovesizzy · 05/08/2020 23:06

I would charge her. Its a piss take

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 05/08/2020 23:20

Omg can some people not read?

RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT RTFT
AngryAngryAngryAngryAngry

Celestine70 · 05/08/2020 23:42

She's a cheeky cow. She would have to pay a lot to hire that type of space. I would look into using it as a business space then in future you can charge people.

VacMan · 05/08/2020 23:42

@VacMan

OP has already told the CF no!

This is going to be 20 pages of people not RTFT.

9 pages to go Grin
NameChange84 · 05/08/2020 23:43

CANCEL THE CHEQUE!

Or...just view all OPs posts before you post something that hundreds of people before you have already said and tell the OP to do something she did already. Like, a whole day already.

Read the bloody thread people.

blubberyboo · 05/08/2020 23:55

You did the right thing OP. Can you imagine the worry you would have had leading up to it , and on the night about potential damage to the yurt that you wouldn’t have been covered for , and which might have threatened the rest of your friendships over.

Not to mention the constant stream of drunk partygoers knocking the door to use the loo.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 06/08/2020 00:03

Not only is she a cheeky fucker but she is also a bloody boring fucker. She might have had the decency to put up more of a fight for our entertainment.Grin

Staplemaple · 06/08/2020 00:06

Good for you OP. Bit dissapointed with her lacklustre reaction, but you were being extremely fair.

Rentacar · 06/08/2020 00:17

OMG! Who does that? Can I have a party on your land....but you're not invited! Cheeky Fucker of the highest order! Who in earth would think that this would be acceptable???

So glad you stood up to her.

amispeakingenglish · 06/08/2020 00:35

Make an excuse, like the others say. What a bloody cheek. Say something about the risk factors, and not covered by insurance as you aren't there. Really what would happen if either was damage or someone got hurt? They could sue you!! DON'T DO IT. Say not covered for third party use. You didn't realise at the time you said yes, never been an issue before as your parties........ .DO NOT LET HER HAVE IT.

karalou2 · 06/08/2020 01:04

Good grief! I'm not often lost for words or a suggestion about an awkward situation but this really takes the biscuit!
Like others, I'd suggest embarrassing the life out of her. Make sure all your friends who are going, know how awful you felt when she told you you weren't invited. Really though, if they knew that and still went, I'd re-think their 'friend' status. Be sure to let them know that you're probably only going to RENT it out in future, on a business footing and to very close family/friends.
What a shame though. Not everyone would be prepared to let friends use a lovely space like this when you could easily be renting it out. If your friends are still prepared to go, there's something wrong with them if they think it's ok to go and party in your garden when you've been so rudely told you're not welcome.
I hope some of them read these comments too! I'm fuming for you! Sorry not to be much help though....

Candyflosscookie · 06/08/2020 01:20

@VacMan it's two days later and posters are STILL replying with what to do Grin

 I'm just here to see if poor old @BlogTheBlogger actually spontaneously combusts with rage at them not RTFT or RTOPP (reading the OP posts) since we didn't get much of a volcano from the CF. Valiant efforts Blog!

karalou2 · 06/08/2020 01:24

VacMan and all the others who 'read the thread' ... I'm just suggesting here that as more people seem not to have read it, than have, some of the threads may not be showing to everyone. I've been through the whole lot from start to finish at least half a dozen times and there isn't any message on my page, saying OP had already said no to the person. I really wouldn't deliberately waste my time in sending a reply to something that'd already been solved.

ClaryFairchild · 06/08/2020 01:32

Would love to know what CF comes up with next. Update us please op if she does!

Mothership4two · 06/08/2020 01:43

Thanks all, party planned for sept, so it is Covid rules dependent, but I've sent a message just saying that I'm sorry, but I said yes initially thinking we'd be in attendance, but as we won't be it wouldn't be seen as private/personal use and so not covered by our insurance. I understand she wants to limit it to her closest friends so wished her luck in finding another suitable venue

juliawilks72 · 06/08/2020 01:49

She is horrible - l have been taken advantage of over the years - please retract you’re offer - to NOT INVITE YOU & HUBBY IS ridiculous & completely insensitive on her part xx don’t let her take advantage- you will live to regret it xxxx l know that feeling 😢😢😢

juliawilks72 · 06/08/2020 01:50

Brilliant xx just seen you’re last message ✅✅✅

TotallyObsessed4 · 06/08/2020 01:58

Completely out of order, quite frankly!
Personally I would turn up anyway, she can’t exactly kick you off YOUR own property. I would make as awkward as possible for her. Cheeky Fuck!

babydisney · 06/08/2020 02:05

I'd say no, unless shes paying. You did it as goodwill by essentially hosting her party on your land if you can't even go on your own land I'd be upfront say you mis interpreted and to rent theress a cost, or simply just cancel and make up some bs about how unfortunately you can no longer host due to conflicting days, she will get hint either way.

babydisney · 06/08/2020 02:07

@VacMan but we're responding to op not reading 20 pages of other peoples comments??

Mothership4two · 06/08/2020 02:07

@babydisney

OP said 'no' and got an anti-climatic 'OK' in response

TotallyObsessed4 · 06/08/2020 02:14

Sorry just gone though the 20+ pages. Good for you op, for standing your ground.
Although the ok text was so disappointing and anti-climatic Wink

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