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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking p*** or am I being over sensitive?

596 replies

democrazy · 04/08/2020 20:28

We own some land across the road from our house, invested in a small yurt and have a semi permanent type summer glamping set up, fire pit, pizza oven etc. Friend text me to ask if she can use the site to celebrate her birthday (it's a big one) with a few close friends (about 10-15), I mistook the message as inviting DH and I as well, which she replied saying she was embarrassed but really she just wanted her closest friends and I wouldn't be invited. This is fine as I wouldn't have considered myself in that circle - I'd say we're friends but not super close, but we are good friends with a number of the people who would be going. But I thought it a bit cheeky that she basically wants to use our extended garden to have a small party but not invite us. We've used the space for other friends and family celebrations, but we've always been part of them. I've said yes becuase I'd feel mean if
didn't, but equally feeling a little put out, though not sure if it's my embarassment at assuming I was invited or my feeling put out that they want to use the space without inviting us. P.s. I know this is a very first world issue and really not of great importance, just sense checking myself!

OP posts:
uniglowooljumper · 05/08/2020 19:17

@democrazy

No, not charging, I'd said yes when I thought they were inviting us, and felt I couldn't withdraw it after that. I trust her not to wreck it and/or repair any damage just a bit taken aback by it!
Well honestly, get right over that. You don't owe her a thing. She's a rude bitch, not a friend and in no way worth her using your property. CFers get away with it because people enable them. So stop it. You don't owe her face-to-face, either. 'Wow. I can't believe you want a huge freebie like this and then have the nerve to not even invite us. Talk about using people! No, you are not entitled to use our property for your party and you need to now make other arrangements. Do not contact me further on this matter.'

And that's it.

democrazy · 05/08/2020 19:18

Oh wow can't believe this is still trending. Thank you again for the advice and help in sorting this out. Heard no more from friend, though it did inspire me to have a lovely day enjoying the site today with my children appreciating what we do have.

OP posts:
roxanne119 · 05/08/2020 19:23

Um no we only let close friends use it 😳

rosegoldivy · 05/08/2020 19:27

I cannot believe how disappointed I am in this thread.
The "OK" text. Just "OK" I mean cummmmon, my popcorn wasn't even ready yet. I was gearing up for a fight.
Does your friend not know the crowd loves the draaaaaama????
Poor show.

democrazy · 05/08/2020 19:31

@rosegoldivy

I cannot believe how disappointed I am in this thread. The "OK" text. Just "OK" I mean cummmmon, my popcorn wasn't even ready yet. I was gearing up for a fight. Does your friend not know the crowd loves the draaaaaama???? Poor show.
Ha, I know, it was rather an anticlimax... I could make up a Hollyoaks/ Eastenders version instead if you want... Grin
OP posts:
IsaLain · 05/08/2020 19:31

I'm glad you said no on the end. I've just read this and the first thing I thought was "but they'll all be in and out of yours to use the toilet" so was very glad to see someone point that out and you've told your friend no.

fairlyplump · 05/08/2020 19:36

WOW CF !! How incredibly rude of her, tell her no now and tell her why. Imagine how you will feel when you see/hear this party in your garden, but your not good enough one there. No Way should you let her

User43210 · 05/08/2020 19:36

@Nanasueathome

Am I missing something here? You can read the OP’s updates by clicking on ‘see all’ at the bottom of her very first post Why are people still coming on to the thread to advise what she should say/do?
I really wish I knew.

The most annoying thing on MN is people not reading the OP posts even when they've made it so easy.

theemmadilemma · 05/08/2020 19:38

@democrazy You really should you know.

TrixieMixie · 05/08/2020 19:40

I wouldn’t be hurt but it’s rude. Inexplicably so.

Ohtherewearethen · 05/08/2020 19:41

@democrazy I think you're ace. You have made yourself a wonderful space for your family and friends to enjoy and enjoy it I'm sure you all will!

starfishmummy · 05/08/2020 19:47

I'd have said that me and dh going would be a condition of her using it.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 05/08/2020 19:52

The most annoying thing on MN is people not reading the OP posts even when they've made it so easy.

I know!
I think it should result in an instant ban 😡

Vinomummyinlockdown · 05/08/2020 19:56

Omg. What a CF! Grow a pair and get rid of her.

Cadent · 05/08/2020 19:56

@Bettyboo1957

the thread police got me

funny how you scrolled to the end of the thread to make sure people responded to your contribution.

Buffs · 05/08/2020 20:01

Outrageous.
If you’re not close enough for an invitation then you’re not close enough for Her to ask for such a big favour.

lloydee1983 · 05/08/2020 20:01

All good you being not invited, the so called friend should pay for the space then.

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 05/08/2020 20:02

@democrazy
Ha, I know, it was rather an anticlimax... I could make up a Hollyoaks/ Eastenders version instead if you want... grin

Yes please. I have no life...

😜

momtoboys · 05/08/2020 20:10

HOW RUDE! Ill mannered and rude.

Lovely13 · 05/08/2020 20:11

I wouldn’t worry about saying you’ve changed your mind. Just that. No explanation. It’s her problem, not yours. And keep her very much at arm’s length in the future.

Happynow001 · 05/08/2020 20:15

@democrazy

I particularly liked this line ...

I understand she wants to limit it to her closest friends so wished her luck in finding another suitable venue....

Well done OP!! 😂😂 🌹

jentinquarantino20 · 05/08/2020 20:23

Sorry I didn’t read your response to her or the rest of the post as I was too angry and wanted to see the last post. Omggggg I wouldn’t dream of expecting a venue from anyone for free, never mind using your property and you aren’t allowed near, what is that about? Argh rude bitch lol. Just a gentle reminder to always tell people where to go when they try to take an inch.

Loreleigh · 05/08/2020 20:31

Yes, your 'friend' is taking the right p*s - what an outright CF - happy to use your facilities but not to even invite you. Next she'll be expecting you to open your toilet facilities, somewhere to change babies and leave a load of crap for you to clear up when they stagger home If there are 10-15 people, celebrating, probably getting drunk, then I would imagine they'll be making a noise, disturbing you and any neighbours if you have them. I'd tell them to get lost (but with a bit more colourful language) - tell them you don't want your yurt, fencing, anything else minged up by their close friends! And if they ask to use the loo tell them to f*k off home or use a 'close friend's toilet, don't pee in your garden or expect to come in your house as you are just not 'close' enough to rick it blah blah blah. Big time CF - tell them to pay to go elsewhere. Good luck

M2B19 · 05/08/2020 20:32

Personally I would say due to the confusion I agreed to the party as I thought we’d be in attendance to oversee that there’s no damage etc as well as to celebrate your special day. If this isn’t the case then I don’t feel comfortable hiring it out as it’s not something we’ve done before and don’t intend on doing.

lampshadery · 05/08/2020 20:34

@M2B19 OP has said exactly that