To be upset my 6 year old got her ears pierced?

[thetimehasbegan]

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of my daughter (nothing in writing). My daughter is 6 and has been asking me for a couple of weeks to get her ears pierced.

I didn't have a problem with this as she is old enough to ask and she understood it would hurt and would both have to keep them clean. I had said though that we would wait a while as I wasn't sure places were doing it due to coronavirus.

Today I got a FaceTime from my daughter and her dad had taken her into Claire's accessories to get her ears pierced. He hasn't even discussed it with me or let me know. I am more hurt than angry as I feel that's a mummy and daughter activity and I would have at least liked to have been there for it.

After explaining to him that I am disappointed he has apologised. However, I can't help feeling still sad. Also, I went to see my daughter to see her ears and she was telling me that my ex MIL was telling my daughter to tell me that "if you're not fast, your last". This has really pissed me off and I've sent her a text.

AIBU?

I agree with pp saying they would be angry they got it done at Claire's. I don't see why it's and activities for mums to do with their daughters? There should have been more communication but honestly I think you're angry about the wrong thing!

I did not let my daughter get hers done until she was 16😂

And then when she went in the establishment rang me to check it was ok .,

But them I am old fashioned obviously . I also asked her when she was old enough not to have tattoos where it might affect job prospects.

Everyone to their own .

@SmileEachDay my kid, my rules, exactly.

I am surprised Claire's will do piercings on someone so young. I am in the 'too young' camp. But why on earth is it a 'mummy/daughter' activity?

However, he should've run it by you, but only if you would have afforded him the same courtesy.

6? Blimey.
I would have said maybe 11 minimum.

Why are people so keen to make children grow up? She shouldn't we worrying about stuff like this so young.

I hate seeing babies and toddlers with pierced ears.

I'm not a fan of piercings on young kids though. They're so rough and tumble at that age, the last thing they need is to be worrying about piercings.

@corythatwas good job I didn't ask for your approval eh?

@Divoc2020 she not a baby nor a toddler...

Guys the purpose of this thread was not to discuss whether you agree with a 6 year old having her ears pierced. I couldn't care less what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of my parenting decisions.

I think it looks very tacky on a young child, but as you’re obviously happy for her to have it done, then agree with others that it doesn’t matter which parent was with her at the time.

@TheQueef- I wanted to marry one of The Wombles (Tomsk- the sporty one).

Claire's isn't a great place to go for piercings

The thing is, you mentioned her age any many posters think 6 is way too young, so you're going to get all the 'tacky' comments regardless.

No, but nor is she a young woman, or old enough to make wise decisions about her body.

She'll be bored of them in a couple of weeks - you can let them heal up.

I think Claire’s will pierce any age child as long as a guardian is present. Which is fairly grim.

You don't have an issue with her getting her ears pierced, you're narked because you "wanted to be there" 🤷🏻‍♀️ Tough.

I couldn't care less what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of my parenting decisions

Buuut you’d like our opinions on your ex’s parenting decisions.

@SmileEachDay I wouldn't like your opinion, no thank you.

[quote thetimehasbegan]@SmileEachDay my kid, my rules, exactly. [/quote]
No. She's not just your kid. Haven't you worked that out yet?!

I don’t agree if had to be a mother daughter activity, but I think both parents should have discussed it and agreed before the piercing was done. Would have been nice if you had both taken her.

The MIL was being deliberately goady.

I also have to agree with posters that six is very young for piercings. But I am maybe old fashioned.

I couldn't care less what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of my parenting decisions.
But it matters what we think of your ex’s?

Be ready for them to go gross and need to be taken out, when you learn to pierce at Claire’s it’s on teddy bears and each other... and a gun can’t be cleaned properly.

I’m surprised you both would let her get her ears done during COVID as the guns can’t be cleaned properly.

Sorry, @SmileEachDay, you beat me to it 😉

@SmileEachDay

I couldn't care less what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of my parenting decisions

Buuut you’d like our opinions on your ex’s parenting decisions.

^ This

The MIL comment could be taken either way depending on your previous relationship, but if you’d discussed it before with your ex, and you’d both agreed that when she could ask for her ears being pierced, she could get them done...

I’m failing to see the issue (apart from you being a bit narked that it wasn’t you who got to be there)

@HostaFireAndIce I haven't asked anyone's opinions on either mine or my exes parenting decisions. I have asked opinions on my ex not communicating with me regarding piercing my daughters ears. That's communication skills - not parenting decisions.