To be upset my 6 year old got her ears pierced?

[thetimehasbegan]

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of my daughter (nothing in writing). My daughter is 6 and has been asking me for a couple of weeks to get her ears pierced.

I didn't have a problem with this as she is old enough to ask and she understood it would hurt and would both have to keep them clean. I had said though that we would wait a while as I wasn't sure places were doing it due to coronavirus.

Today I got a FaceTime from my daughter and her dad had taken her into Claire's accessories to get her ears pierced. He hasn't even discussed it with me or let me know. I am more hurt than angry as I feel that's a mummy and daughter activity and I would have at least liked to have been there for it.

After explaining to him that I am disappointed he has apologised. However, I can't help feeling still sad. Also, I went to see my daughter to see her ears and she was telling me that my ex MIL was telling my daughter to tell me that "if you're not fast, your last". This has really pissed me off and I've sent her a text.

AIBU?

I would not get a 6 year olds ears pierced but as you were happy to do so then you can hardly complain
I think it is common 😄

Well this doesn't suggest that you've considered that a child might not choose to have pierced ears, rather that you think it's inevitable that they'll want it at some point. It's an interesting viewpoint - I'll put holes in my baby's ears just in case she might want them when she's older to save on the inconvenience later

I’m not forcing other people to go and get their ears pierced.
But yes, that was my reason - family tradition, and presumed she would get them done eventually, so did as a baby for convenience and stopping infections, on my nans advice, as that’s what’s always happened in our family/in our area.

She’s happy with the holes in her ears, she has lovely earrings, including solid gold gypsy style earrings bought for her first birthday. (Another tradition, because by this time, the ears haven’t been touched since being pierced, so have had a good 9-10 months to heal).
She’s happy, I’m happy, and these stories of infections and tearing trying to get them out when they haven’t healed etc. is making me even happier tbh

[quote thetimehasbegan]@jessstan2 well she can't get a tattoo done at 7 can she? That would be illegal, and permanent. Ear piercings are not and can be taken out.

She meant I wasn't fast enough to take my daughter to get her ears pierced so I missed out. [/quote]
My ear piercings at Claire’s we’re messed up and I have a permanent lump on the cartilage, I took all my ear piercings out 10 years ago, I can still get studs in the lobes.