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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be upset my 6 year old got her ears pierced?

328 replies

thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 18:49

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of my daughter (nothing in writing). My daughter is 6 and has been asking me for a couple of weeks to get her ears pierced.

I didn't have a problem with this as she is old enough to ask and she understood it would hurt and would both have to keep them clean. I had said though that we would wait a while as I wasn't sure places were doing it due to coronavirus.

Today I got a FaceTime from my daughter and her dad had taken her into Claire's accessories to get her ears pierced. He hasn't even discussed it with me or let me know. I am more hurt than angry as I feel that's a mummy and daughter activity and I would have at least liked to have been there for it.

After explaining to him that I am disappointed he has apologised. However, I can't help feeling still sad. Also, I went to see my daughter to see her ears and she was telling me that my ex MIL was telling my daughter to tell me that "if you're not fast, your last". This has really pissed me off and I've sent her a text.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 21:47

and I said yes you idiotic person
And again... You're a class act, op

Yellowfeather · 04/08/2020 21:47

I meant it metaphorically. But I admit it was a cheap shot. I take it back.

ChurchOfWokeApostate · 04/08/2020 21:48

Who did you find that was happy to pierce a baby of that age?

There are many places to get it done tbh.

You have a few of the jewellers, who do it with the gun, or if you go to the Asian run shops they tend to do it with a needle, which is better.

I went toAnecdotally, growing up I found the peopl

Lelophants · 04/08/2020 21:48

I think some people on mumsnet sit with a glass of wine and trail the AIBU threads to see who they can dig at. I mean, really. 🤷🏻‍♀️

7yo7yo · 04/08/2020 21:48

I’d be very pissed of op.
And thank the lord she’s your ex mil.

laidbacklife · 04/08/2020 21:49

I really hope your DD does not take your ex MIL's 'wise words' to heart with regards to other milestones in her life... especially the teenage ones Hmm

SmileEachDay · 04/08/2020 21:50

Lelophants

Or maybe people just have opinions about stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 21:50

@Yellowfeather thank you, I apologise too.

OP posts:
ChurchOfWokeApostate · 04/08/2020 21:53

You say this as if it's a requirement to have pierced

Where? I said if you’re going to get it done at 8 or 10, you might as well get it done as a baby.

There’s loads of posts above saying the 8 year olds can’t take them out by themselves, or they close up in a few hours, or they’re not allowed to go swimming.
My dd has never had this issue, reading all this it sounds like a hassle I’m glad I avoided tbh.

Watdafark · 04/08/2020 21:57

All these PPs hollering about ear piercing, good lord.

I had mine done at 8. It didn't stop me doing gymnastics, playing football, or anything else I did befote. Not did I turn into an appearance-obsessed freak.

Biscuit
Watdafark · 04/08/2020 21:57

*before, nor

Thisismytimetoshine · 04/08/2020 21:58

@laidbacklife

I really hope your DD does not take your ex MIL's 'wise words' to heart with regards to other milestones in her life... especially the teenage ones Hmm
Getting your ears pierced is not a bloody milestone.
TheQueef · 04/08/2020 21:58

[quote oakleaffy]@TheQueef
Me too...desperately! ''Stig of the Dump was my dream''. If not a Caveman, a being a Pony would also do.[/quote]
Oh yeah, I mean a cave in a quarry! Barney was a lucky lad.
I didn't get married until I was 7 though, to our dog.

SunshineCake · 04/08/2020 21:59

£67 for ear piercing??

Bloody hell. I thought it was about £10. Nearly £70 is ridiculous.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2020 22:01

I agree that if you were both ok with her having it done, and mine started asking at that age although I said that they could have them done at 8 if they still wanted to, he should have at least messaged. "In Claires and they are doing piercings, still ok for DD to have them done?" would have given you a chance to air your issues over a) Claires and b) the pandemic.

As for the ex MIL.....I am getting a new patio soon. Just mentioning it, for no other reason than.... well, just thought you might like to know Wink

MNHQ
LilyMumsnet · 04/08/2020 22:03

Hi all,

Can we have a bit of peace and love, please?

Original poster
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 22:03

@PyongyangKipperbang GrinGrinI'll keep that in mind

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2020 22:04

And yes to a PP , living in an area where culturally a lot of people do baby piercings, it is easy to find places that will do it. Personally I am not a fan of it and think its unnecessary but then I feel the same about other cultural "traditions" that are British in origin so who am I to judge?

UpCloseAndPersonalWithGlenda · 04/08/2020 22:06

[quote oakleaffy]@TheQueef
Me too...desperately! ''Stig of the Dump was my dream''. If not a Caveman, a being a Pony would also do.[/quote]
I was going to be Olivia Newton John. Strangely, my mum didn't weep because she wasn't there for the Special Moment when I came out of the fairground thing clad in black bin-bag trousers.

Original poster
thetimehasbegan · 04/08/2020 22:08

@UpCloseAndPersonalWithGlenda you are HILARIOUS

OP posts:
UpCloseAndPersonalWithGlenda · 04/08/2020 22:10

Why, thank you, thetimehasbegun. Very kind of you to say so.

Watdafark · 04/08/2020 22:14

@LilyMumsnet That depends - are you providing free wine and biscuits?

cricketmum84 · 04/08/2020 22:17

I don't really see it as a "mummy and daughter" activity. My DH took DD to have hers done (we had discussed it though obviously l).

I do think your ex should have checked with you in case you didn't agree with her having them done.

And ex MIL sounds very in to points scoring. I would just ignore anything she had to say on it!!

cherish123 · 04/08/2020 22:19

I'd be livid. Six is far too young. I would not do it before 10. I'd be having strong words with my ex.

CarrieFour · 04/08/2020 22:20

@AntoinetteOuradi

I don't know. My DS had hers done just before her 7th birthday as fitted well with school holidays.

We had 2 years of begging beforehand.

I explained many many times it would hurt, they needed cleaned twice a day, etc etc.

So no surprised once we finally got to having them done. And she took great care of them and have been fine.

Learned how to put them in/out herself. Knew in advance I wouldn't allow hoops or crappy metal that might make them sore etc.

Only a positive experience here so I get a bit miffed that people try to paint everyone who allows under 10s to have their ears pierced as some kind of abusive chav.

At age 6 (end of Y2) over half the other girls had their ears pierced already. I think had none of them had it done it wouldn't have been on DDs radar but she was very keen as a lot had them done the summer before her.