Its not your fault op i promise you. Even if you think it is, NEVER voice that to your son. I work with offenders in my job and the best gift a dsmily can do is not minimising his offence and letting him face consequences for eg if he has to get places let him get the bus, and set off an hour earlier if necessary . Dont give him too much sympathy either, i dont mean be horrid,but most definitely do not agree woth any poor me speeches he gives.
Does he understand the impaxt his actions could havr had? How he could now be sat in a prison cell having killed someone? What is his drinking like in general?
Hopefully when he goes to court theyll goce him some programmes, which is part of my job. DIDS is such an informative course, and it really hammers home the consequences and how to avoid it and improving knowledge.
Please dont blame yourself. Its a myth that people commit offences becsuse of their background. True, our background influences us. So does our friends, our colleagues , the media, previous experiences etc. And even in cases where people have had awful experiences it isnt helpful to dwell too long on it from a rehabilitation pov, unless for coundelling etc. Because we csnt change others but we can change ourselves, and the focus must be on that. If he goes on probation which im sure he will, his offender manager will likely do a lot of work around this with him
But as i say dont make life easy for him
While hes injured obviously help to an extent but no mollycoddling or spoiling him. Dont be cold towards him but let him face the consequences. Dont be one of them mums sat in probation waiting rooms, arms linked, waiting to tell stsff what they think of them! Be honest too about how toure feeling about it all. I do s lot of work with offenders and when theyre discussing the inpact on their mums and children and partners, thats where they express most regret and for some they resolve not to do it again. Dont hide your sadness about it all