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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect to be told that my family are actually leaving

387 replies

printmeanicephoto · 03/08/2020 00:23

Today we went out for DH's mum's 80th birthday (a meal for 6 at a pub) about an hour's drive away. About twenty minutes before DH, myself and our two teens were due to leave our house to drive over, DH and I had a chat and agreed a precise time to leave to give us ample time to get there. I ended up being busy putting on my slap upstairs in the bathroom up until the time we"d agreed to leave and admit I slightly lost track of time by a few minutes (my fault I know). When I realised iI was slightly late I went downstairs to try and find everyone - looking in the lounge and kitchen etc. Then I glanced outside and noticed that the kids and my DH were all sitting in the car waiting for me. I also noticed DH had put the house key in the lock for me to lock up.

DH then gets cross with me when I get in the car and says we agreed twenty minutes ago exactly when we were going to leave. AIBU to expect DH to actually tell me that him and the kids are about to leave the house? Isn't that what people do - ie make sure everyone who is meant to be going in the car with them knows they are now leaving? That's what I would do - shout up the stairs or something! He says no, we agreed a time and that's that.

This has happened before and I pleaded with him last time to make sure he tells me when he is actually leaving the house so I don't keep the family waiting in the car. He says no because I'm an adult not a toddler!

I know I was at fault, but I can't help feeling he's being rather difficult and that shouting up the stairs or something wouldn't kill him.

OP posts:
penberrh · 03/08/2020 16:30

I've heard that mobile phones do have a clock facility too.

Sounds like a frightful bore. Much easier to rely on my butler to make me aware of when it’s getting near to time to leave.

diddl · 03/08/2020 16:31

"I'm amazed at the amount of people that think telling their partner they are heading out to the car is in some way treating them like a child."

Because in this instance a time to leave had been agreed on so why would Op need to know that they were on the way to the car when she should have been doing the same thing herself?

melj1213 · 03/08/2020 16:32

Do people have clocks in their bathrooms? I don't.

No but I have a watch, and a phone and if I had a conversation 20 minutes before I left for an event saying "We are leaving in 20 minutes" and I knew I still had to get ready I would be sure to keep an eye on the time.

DappledThings · 03/08/2020 16:37

No need to go hunting for her, just shout upstairs. Unless it's a massive house, it would probably work. I'm sure op can clarify
She confirmed she didn't hear them leave due to being behind a closed door so I would imagine she wouldn't have heard a shout either. Could be wrong

ChangeThePassword · 03/08/2020 16:38

Maybe I'm unusual, but I don't take my phone into the bathroom with me. Or the toilet. Urghh...

ChangeThePassword · 03/08/2020 16:45

She confirmed she didn't hear them leave due to being behind a closed door so I would imagine she wouldn't have heard a shout either. Could be wrong

You could be right. In my house a shout that's aimed towards the top of the stairs tends to travel further than the normal day to day noise of daily coming and going, but I don't know ops house.

mbosnz · 03/08/2020 16:49

I don't have a watch or clock in the bathroom, but I do have a certain sense of time and a clock in the bedroom that I can check regularly to ensure that I'm not running late, and possibly annoying and inconveniencing other people.

Kaiserin · 03/08/2020 16:56

You both sound a bit unreasonable.

Original poster
printmeanicephoto · 03/08/2020 17:01

No, not a massive house.

OP posts:
U2HasTheEdge · 03/08/2020 17:13

I can't stand people being late but this is stupid.

Me and my husband went out yesterday, we agreed to leave at a certain time. I was ready on the dot and he wasn't. I simply asked him if he was ready. He quickly got his shoes on and we left a few minutes later than planned. We make sure to take into account that we might leave the house 5 minutes later than agreed, or that there might be a hold up on the journey, so we always leave earlier than needed. No drama if someone is a few minutes late.

rwalker · 05/08/2020 21:59

You asked for options and if they don't side with you there wrong why ask.

MitziK · 05/08/2020 22:08

@mbosnz

I don't have a watch or clock in the bathroom, but I do have a certain sense of time and a clock in the bedroom that I can check regularly to ensure that I'm not running late, and possibly annoying and inconveniencing other people.
I do have a clock in the bathroom. It's really useful when I'm vegging out in the bath, as I can stay in there until exactly when I need to get out. It makes life more relaxed.
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