I don't mean all people. I also don't think I have it harder than a mum with one child all the time. But sometimes I don't think friends always understand it's not as easy with more than one.
I have a friend with a child the same age as mine. We did all the baby groups, park dates and regular weekly catch ups. Fast forward to me having my second child I feel it's alot more complex. Children of different ages. Trying to find activities they both can be happy and safe doing is tricky.
My friend chose to have no more and he's now at school. She's got alot more freedom now and she drives. But I've felt lately like she's been making comments like she thinks I don't do enough.
In February she said something about my son being ready for nursery. He was just two and I really can't afford nursery until it's funded. It was because he was being grouchy on the school run in his pushchair but he wasn't old enough to walk until we were away from the roads. She also said he didn't get to see other children his age. That can't be helped when my oldest was too old for the group's and I had them both until school. But also he had his sister and they have a great relationship.
She's struggled in lockdown but has been doing bits whilst her son was at school. She had her car to pop out. I've been taking mine for walks and now we are attempting a little more whilst remaining cautious when my partner's home at the weekends. I really struggled when we had our first day out, but I won't bore you with the details. I told her today on the phone and she said it's because we've been home for so long and I needed to do more. I feel she doesn't understand I couldn't do more than what we were doing. Children going into Asda was causing outrage at the time and therefore I kept them away.
She was making suggestions about me going for picnics and things. We've done these things as a family recently anyway. She was telling me I should walk to places for food and take a ball etc.
Whilst I know she means well. I don't feel she understands what it's like to have a two year old who still hasn't adapted to walking safely. Who also doesn't like his pushchair on top of a four year old who wants to do more but you have to juggle it and it ends up irritating and sometimes hard work.
She's only ever had to focus on her one child. They have all the one on one time. She can enjoy an ice cream by the river with him now and a lovely walk. But she's past all the pushchairs, tantrums and danger.
I really feel sometimes it's easier to do less and I'll admit taking both kids out isn't my favourite thing at these ages. But i feel like my friend is saying I need to get out more which has left me feeling paranoid!