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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave 8 & 10 year alone to go out to dinner?

430 replies

BereftOfInk · 29/07/2020 13:21

DH has suggested we go out to dinner together and leave the DC home alone. His parents often did this once he turned 10. I don't know if I'm being over protective as I was never left alone as a child. We live in a block of flats and would let our direct neighbours know they were alone, DC know them and could go and knock if they needed help for any reason. They offered to do this a while ago, but we thought the DC were too young so didn't. Neighbour suggested it as it's what her parents did when she was young (she wouldn't want to sit in our flat with them).

Get them ready for bed, stick a film on and let them go to bed when tired/fall asleep on the sofa. Acceptable or not?

OP posts:
LoopyGremlin · 29/07/2020 13:22

Definitely not! I would leave my ten year old alone for 15/20 minutes whilst I popped to the shops but certainly not for a longer period and taking care of a younger sibling.

JamesTKirkcompatible · 29/07/2020 13:24

I wouldn't, personally. Might leave for 10 mins on a Saturday morning when I popped to a shop 200 yards away. Mine are currently younger but our primary school only allows them to walk home alone at age 10 and that i see as less risky than being in charge of an 8 year old at night.

bloodywhitecat · 29/07/2020 13:24

Not acceptable. Get a babysitter.

Pjsallday · 29/07/2020 13:24

I wouldn't be able to relax. So no just too young for me

w0kingpizzaexpress · 29/07/2020 13:25

Nope it's bordering on neglect and I would report it

Buddyelf · 29/07/2020 13:26

The number of threads I see on this forum of people asking if it’s ok to leave young kids home alone is incredible. Your kids are too young to be left alone - either get a babysitter or don’t go. Honestly Hmm

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 29/07/2020 13:26

No way. Didn't start leaving my daughter alone (and then only for an hour while I popped out to the gym) til she was 13.

Feralkidsatthecampsite · 29/07/2020 13:26

Not acceptable at all. Even less so in a block of flats..

Mischance · 29/07/2020 13:27

I used to babysit my little sister (then about 2) when I was 10.

PerpendicularVincent · 29/07/2020 13:27

Absolutely not, the 10 year old is essentially in charge of the 8 year old and is way too young for that level of responsibility. Definitely get a babysitter.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 29/07/2020 13:27

People used to do like the of things years ago that they wouldn't dream of doing now. They are too young to be left.

Jeezoh · 29/07/2020 13:27

Utterly unacceptable and frankly I’m amazed you need to ask Hmm

Regulus · 29/07/2020 13:27

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster
BereftOfInk · 29/07/2020 13:28

Mine are currently younger but our primary school only allows them to walk home alone at age 10
Mine were expected to walk home alone from age 5! They can be trusted to be home for an hour during the day whilst I do the weekly shop, but never left them when they're tired/in evening before. ( I wouldn't have done if it hadn't been for covid but as they weren't allowed in the shop, we had to try.)

OP posts:
InTheWings · 29/07/2020 13:29

Not.

Fine for an 11 year old to be home alone when they get in from school, or a 10 year old while you go shopping, but not a 10 year old looking after an 8 year old for a whole evening.

SqidgeBum · 29/07/2020 13:29

No. Just get the baby sitter. Anything could happen (they try to cook and set a fire, they let someone in who knocks, one could be sick or choke and the other doesnt know what to do). They are kids. Just pay to get someone responsible in to watch them.

Original poster
BereftOfInk · 29/07/2020 13:30

Even less so in a block of flats..
Why? Surely it would be safer! I think I wouldn't even consider it if they were alone in a house. But there would be other adults in the same building.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanketyBlank · 29/07/2020 13:31

No I wouldn't until they were 12 and 14 at least

Original poster
BereftOfInk · 29/07/2020 13:31

they try to cook and set a fire, they know they're not allowed to.
they let someone in who knocks they know they're not allowed to answer the door bell (my neighbour would knock to check on them rather than ring)
one could be sick or choke and the other doesnt know what to do
knock next door for help.

OP posts:
TheLastDynasty · 29/07/2020 13:33

I think it’s too young. Something could go wrong and they would be too young to handle it. And they could so easily get frightened.

Would the neighbours who offered to drop by be willing to babysit properly?

Decorhate · 29/07/2020 13:34

In terms of Child Protection this would be viewed as neglect - potentially putting a child into a position they are not mature enough to deal with. And yes I know that this sort of thing was common in my childhood, but I often felt overwhelmed by the responsibility.

w0kingpizzaexpress · 29/07/2020 13:34

You leave an 8 year old for an hour to go shopping Hmm disgusting. get a delivery.

sbhydrogen · 29/07/2020 13:35

Seems okay to me. Just as long as they know they can call you or ask the neighbour for help if they need it.

You can order one of those CCTV/baby monitors that work over the internet so you can watch over them whilst you're out, or talk to them if they're doing something silly.

Original poster
BereftOfInk · 29/07/2020 13:35

Would the neighbours who offered to drop by be willing to babysit properly?

No, they said they would be there and listen out for the DC, maybe check on them once but not babysit properly.

OP posts:
SqidgeBum · 29/07/2020 13:36

OP it sounds like you have made your mind up to leave them anyway. Why come on here and ask for opinions when people have said its not considered safe by many others, but you just counteract their responses? If you want to risk your kids to go for a meal, go ahead. I wouldnt, but you have clearly have decided it's worth the risk and you are doing it, so why ask us for our thoughts?