To think she stabbed be me in the back pretending it was concern.

[getherout34]

I recently left a job last month under bad terms with the management. I had being there a year. Anyway I'm not going to go into the details but within a week I clashed badly over the management on the Monday which escalated to the Wednesday and by the Friday I decided to give in my resignation following another telling off which I didn't agree with from mght.

I was with a colleague I made good mates with [we were both newbies and started together] when I decided to resign and was upset. I emailed by resignation to HR and was in my office and it was the end of the day. I was crying a little but but told her I was ok and wanted to be alone for a bit.

Anyway next I get a call from the mgmt. who want me in their office. I was totally not expecting this and realty didn't want to as I was about to leave and I'd a tear stained face and did not want to see the management[remember it was a mgmt. team I didn't get on with].

They asked me was I ok at the meeting and I sat there like an complete idiot and totally humiliated that they saw me like this. It turns out she'd went down and told them. She hadn't even told me only the boss told me, I said I was fine and left. Now I know people will say she just wanted to check you were ok but after I was really angry at her [although never said] and me and my mate both agreed she was doing it to suck up to the mgmt. and look all caring but it was self serving and she'd no right to do that. AIBU or can anybody see my point?

Read my op- I had worked with her for a year and we had become mates.

''A lot of speculation about someone you had worked with for a matter of days''

and even had it being a couple of days sometimes that alone is more than enough time to see somebody's true colours.

So you handed in notice
But still needed to go in to work and work for them
They had a duty to enquire after you if you were crying
And it was professional of her to report to management

It maybe wasn’t the friendly thing to do
But it was professional

I suspect that now you have told ex colleagues, And probably more, and framed it in such a way - her life is about to become unpleasant at work

You worked there for a year and your old employer kept your post open for you?

''And it was professional of her to report to management

It maybe wasn’t the friendly thing to do
But it was professional''

but that's the point-we were friends, my only mate in the office, we went for drinks and rang each other-she wasn't just a colleague. It was different.

''I suspect that now you have told ex colleagues, And probably more, and framed it in such a way - her life is about to become unpleasant at work''

Nope I had to do 3 weeks notice and kept my head down, stayed out of her and everybody's way before leaving.

''You worked there for a year and your old employer kept your post open for you?''

no somebody had left suddenly and she was looking for somebody and rang me to come back.

How fortuitous!

TBH if I was with a colleague who was visibly upset and then fired off a resignation letter after a an argument with management, I would probably go and speak to them too to let them know the context.

For all they knew once you'd gone home and calmed down you would have totally regretted behaving so rashly, but by the time you went back into work it may have felt like it was too late to recant. At least if management are aware that you were upset when you sent that message it would allow them to call you in to speak to them about things and ensure it was 100% what you wanted and wasnt just a knee jerk reaction.

Where I think your manager went wrong was to immediately call you in - I would have left it until the following day to give you time to calm down and reflect and then asked you in to discuss it calmly and confirm you still wanted to resign - but you equally could have just told them that you were on your way out and would speak to them the nex day.

@getherout34

But you say you’ve told two friends and “they’ve gone right off her”

''But you say you’ve told two friends and “they’ve gone right off her”''

yea 2 friends -not colleagues friends outside work who didn't know her.

And no I never said “they’ve gone right off her”'', I said I had.

Go read the thread rather than fabricate it.
.

I asked to be left alone and did it in front of a 'trusted' friend, it was the end of the day [it was after half 5]and most people had gone home. How was that looking for drama?

Could you have gone home and cried then, rather than stayed in the office after hours?

* I even told 2 other mates who said she was trying to help me but I thought she was doing it for her own benefit and went right off her.*

It’s bizarrely worded.

In any event - you’ve left. She’s there. Presumably you’re not going to have anything to do with her.

Move on.

''Could you have gone home and cried then, rather than stayed in the office after hours?''

the crying wasn't planned, I was getting my stuff to go home, my mate came on and I cried. Jesus why is every aibu thread turn into a 3rd degree of irrelevant questions rather than the issue I addressed?

''It’s bizarrely worded.''

or maybe you reading and comprehension skills just aren't that good.

Good luck OP!

Do give her the benefit of the doubt. If she has been a good friend, she probably meant well but was clumsy in her action. Anyway, what does it matter now? You were leaving anyway.

Go read the thread rather than fabricate it.
or maybe you reading and comprehension skills just aren't that good.
No, op. It really is you.

I think when work places become toxic, it does cause you to become paranoid & over analyse. I also don’t think that alerting management would win her any brownie points, though if I was aware a friend was upset owing to management, I would in no way flag it with management! Is it possible she didn’t now why you were upset right at that moment & panicked?

Seriously, gettherout, your posts are bizarrely worded; in your first post you said you spoke to a colleague you "...made good mates with". That was bizarre. I eventually worked she was someone with whom you became 'good mates' but why not say that?

''Is it possible she didn’t now why you were upset right at that moment & panicked?''

nope I ad told her every evening of the disputes what had being happening, I just found her actions totally inappropriate. It is like you telling your close mate about family problems and your mate going back and saying it to your family if you get me? I don't think anybody here would appreciate that.

''Seriously, gettherout, your posts are bizarrely worded; in your first post you said you spoke to a colleague you "...made good mates with". That was bizarre. I eventually worked she was someone with whom you became 'good mates' but why not say that?''

opening thread reads ''I was with a colleague I made good mates with''. Enlighten me to how that is hard to understand or bizarre?

@getherout34

''It’s bizarrely worded.''

or maybe you reading and comprehension skills just aren't that good.

OP, I understand why you would feel upset that a supposed friend told management that you were crying in your office, but I do think the way you have expressed yourself is off. "Stabbed in the back, "sold you up (or is it down?) the river", "brownie points", don't fit this scenario.

It's not great English. Your opening post was extremely garbled.

Maybe she thought a resolution would come out of it.
I agree with other's work friends are work friends, only tell people in work things you are comfortable with everyone hearing it, if you don't fancy the office known your business don't tell a work friend.
I know ppl can meet true friends in work it's not a given.

You sound like a massive drama llama. Everything you've written is exaggerated and full of hyperbole. Chill out a bit.