To think most women don't/can't "get there" with men?

[JSD1987]

I'm early thirties, more or less straight and I have had 8 Mmale sexual partners. I have never had an orgasm with a man, despite enjoying foreplay, sex and oral very much. I would say that only 3 of these partners were what I would consider to be good in bed. I can easily cum on my own, in both ways - just not with a man.

I was under the impression this was completely normal and that most women don't orgasm with someone else but a friend of mine and I got talking about this and she was completely aghast and basically implied there is something weird/wrong with me and I need to get therapy.

Genuinely interested to know people's thoughts/ experiences?

Are you in a relationship at the moment? I must admit that I can only enjoy sex in a completely committed relationship where I feel confident and relaxed with someone where I can completely let my guard down. It took me a long time with DH to get to the point where I could relax with him and have it happen.

There are an awful lot of very smug women on this thread...

"The full bladder thing - definitely feels better to cum when your bladder is full. But after two children there are...consequences."

Ahahaaha! Just pass that off as squirting surely?!

I don't and never have come from penetration but foreplay, toys, oral etc. All make me cum so me and OH focus on that. I'm not sure why penetration doesnt work

I'm also a bit by the PP about a full bladder, surely that's asking for disaster?!

I always orgasm with DH - either by oral or, to put it rather crudely, I get on top (my preferred position) and ‘get mine’.
I may be selfish but I find it pointless having sex unless I orgasm.

I haven't either! I've been close with one person but never actually orgasmed. I had one partner that was insistent I was having up to 7 orgasms a time because that was his normal success rate

Though I have to say, I had much more trouble organising after I had kids.

I gather this is quite common.

All those people showing off about their multiple orgasms...

doing it with a full bladder

Oooooh, no no no!! Not for me!! I need to have emptied my bladder beforehand otherwise there would be a flood....

And the sex towel can barely cope as it is

I must say, I can't come if I've had more than one or two glasses of wine. It shuts off my orgasm switch completely.

But been with DH for quite a few years and he knows what buttons to press. Quite literally. And we've practised a lot.

Still only from foreplay mainly though which I'm more than happy with. Very rarely with PIV.

I'm baffled by the full bladder remark. Does it really make a difference? I think a bit of pee would escape if I did that.

Certainly sounds psychological. Any man would have a job getting a woman to orgasm if she's not there in her mind.

@Fatted

Are you in a relationship at the moment? I must admit that I can only enjoy sex in a completely committed relationship where I feel confident and relaxed with someone where I can completely let my guard down. It took me a long time with DH to get to the point where I could relax with him and have it happen.

I've been single for around 10 months after leaving an almost ten year relationship. I'm taking this time to do some emotional/ mental housekeeping and one of the things I identified as going wrong in my last relationship was the complete lack of sexual fulfillment I experienced which got me thinking about the fact that I've never truly been sexually fulfilled and I how I should probably address that before trying to start something with someone else. It was a real issue for my ex that I couldn't cum with him and I don't want that to happen again.

I find a full bladder feels better but it is a bit sketchy!

I do 99.9% of the time with penetration for me. Plus I don't like other types of stimulation as too sensitive. A full bladder makes me orgasm more easily but then I hate it after because I can't pee so I tend to empty my bladder before hand.

I’d say that never being any to come with someone else in the room is odd.

I honestly don’t see the point in a sexual relationship if you don’t get your needs met and I wouldn’t brother with it.

DH has never not made me cum.

The full bladder helps because it applies pressure to the G spot I think.

I must say, I can't come if I've had more than one or two glasses of wine. It shuts off my orgasm switch completely

Totally.

@EatsShootsAndRuns

doing it with a full bladder

That would definitely have the opposite effect. I'd be too worried about losing control!

In always confused about what a multiple orgasm is. Does it mean one after another with only a few seconds between each one or does it mean several over the whole duration of the encounter. Like you might have one then 15 minutes later your partner will give you another one etc....

Oops meant to quote another post.

I’m the same OP. Can only do it on my own with vibrator or to be far my hubby can make me ‘cum’ using his hand.

Definitely not through penetration or oral for me. Has to be fast paced for it to work for me and a tongue just isn’t up to it 😂

@Signalbox

I must say, I can't come if I've had more than one or two glasses of wine. It shuts off my orgasm switch completely

Totally.

Oh yeah I struggle if I've had a load of booze.

Through thinking about this I've realised I've never fully trusted the men I've been with, as in I've always been scared they would hurt me in some way. The one man I did trust was lovely but unfortunately very bad and one note in bed. I'm wondering if perhaps the lack of trust means I'm not as relaxed as I should be? Although saying that, I have had one ONS and obviously didn't know him well and that was probably one of the best sexual experiences I've ever had. Curiouser and curiouser....🤔

Only had two sexual partners (one of whom is my DH) but I can count on one hand the number of times I have had sex and not orgasmed. Usually because something very non sexy has interrupted us such as the cat being sick in the room! I wouldn't have sex if I wasn't expecting an orgasm.

@ArtichokeAardvark

There are an awful lot of very smug women on this thread...

Or women who would like women to routinely expect more from their sex lives, and who want women to know that if they can get there on their own then any partner should make a sustained, committed effort to get them there too, with instruction if necessary.