How does this text make you judge my recently ended relationship?

[swervedmrnasty]

Dear Swerved

It is important for me that you know the effects you had on my self esteem during our relationship

1. Kissing a squaddie in a bar and getting an ex boyfriend undressed when staying at his place while I was looking after my grieving kids in 2017

1. Going to the pub in 2018 with no knickers on whilst I was working 400m away, getting chatted up by an ex con and coming home with their number

1. Calling me a ‘cunt’ last Christmas in front of all the children

1. Calling me a ‘cunt’ after the skiing holiday

That accumulation is when I eventually gave up on us: I hope you learn something from me pointing this out.

Regards

Mr Nasty (or is he.... hence AIBU?)

It doesn’t matter what he says or who he says it to.

He’s just trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t respond.

Leave him in the past.

A lot of people missing the point here.

He's clearly trying to pull you back in. Do not fall for it please.

You sound like a nice honest outgoing person 🤔 he's annoyed that you didn't conform to his expectations and behave in a way that pleases him.

I assume you were together for a while and he chooses to magnify 4 issues that in your understanding 2 of them were amusing and you were flattered by the attention and the others he clearly is behaving like what you called him.

Kids will hear worse and I'm assuming they're not babies/toddlers!

Block block block or at the very least don't reply!

Don't even let it have headspace, enjoy your life, go to the pub ❤️

@michellebops

Thank you. Putting my head straight with your words.

Man calls woman a cunt in front of their kids
Mn say it’s ok, kids have heard worse

Yes I can see that happening...

@swervedmrnasty
Just ignore him, it’ll annoy him more. He sounds a proper dickhead, you’re worth more.

What do you say? Absolutely nothing. You need to be completely indifferent to him and his opinions of you.

Nothing you could reply would change or affect how he feels in the least, so why bother?

As far as him talking about you to others; "Them that mind don't matter and them that matter don't mind".

But how did he know that you weren’t wearing knickers?

Oh ignore it. He’s trying to twist things round and suck you back in to his bullshit.
Well done coming here to rant instead. He’s an absolute arsehole.

OP - he’s a cunt who enjoys playing the poor down trodden man who’s head was turned by the crazy slut - mainly to deflect from the fact that he’s a cunt.

Block. Move on. Let him tell his silly little stories with kernels of truth at the centre - this’d that’s believe them aren’t worth bothering with.

@AranciaRosso that made me chuckle.

I hope that you've realised the sheer unimportance of the matter and that the only person who knew was Mr Nasty WHEN he got home a couple of hours later.

It really was a case of these papers need to be with the solicitor tomo hence I dashed out to find my brother. I was annoyed to not find him at home but easy to find him !
He literally ordered me a half the second I walked in the pub so I joined him for a while. Who wouldn't.

You sound like a real wind up merchant...the sort of person who tells their partner all this shit trying to get a rise out of them and then when they bite turns and says it was all completely innocent and blames them for over reacting.

You're not a good match, there's clearly no love lost between you and on the basis you must be in your 40s you both need to grow up a bit.

I'm quite the contrary person @Jojobar

I told him stuff that had happened in real life with true context and expressed with my genuine irreproachable humour. I mistakenly believed him to be a normal human to share my daily stories with.

Turns out (upon googling) it's probably utter paranoia due to said weed habit.

You both seem to have toxic behaviour going on

I think it’s quite clear that you’re trying to work out whether others are likely to buy into these claims he makes, should he make them to other people. Not sure why PPs don’t seem to understand that, gossip is nasty let alone when people believe it.

I think any response in explanation or annoyance is just going to play into his game. Keep him blocked, don’t reply, and if he tries to drum up sympathy with these stories - just smile, laugh and make a wry comment about his weed habit getting him carried away.

What a classy couple.

@Jojobar I totally agree, that's how I read it too. Both as bad as each other. She tries to make him jealous, he blows everything out of proportion.

OP you both behaved badly and the relationship ending is best for both of you.

I don't think it really matters what he writes, what you post, what you did, or not did... You've apparently got shot of him so block him and move on. I think you're feel better when you stop going over stuff in your head and he doesn't contact you.

This shouldnt be hard to understand, but why cant people understand there is a basic level of respect you should show your partner, no matter how bloody modern and fun somebody thinks they are?

This is all too much to get my head around and drip feeds all over the shop.

Yes. This is a wind up and not a very good one.

[quote LockdownLoser]@Jojobar I totally agree, that's how I read it too. Both as bad as each other. She tries to make him jealous, he blows everything out of proportion.

OP you both behaved badly and the relationship ending is best for both of you.[/quote]
How did she try to make him jealous? I really don't see that at all. She was chatted up a couple of times and put someone drunk to bed. OP obviously thought of these as amusing stories, nothing more.

I'd certainly help out a drunk friend, to be kind. I've also taken someone's number before which I had no intention of using. Simply because you never know with some men how they'll react to you saying no thanks.

The family name thing is important. Small secluded ski resort my family visit every year. And he goes off and buys weed. In a village. My family are respected here and well liked as loyal customers.
In the nicest way possible, you are probably grossly overestimating how much time people working in a ski resort are spending thinking about your family. If someone sells weed in this quaint secluded village to a tourist, it means there is demand there and the market answers, so the locals hardly will be scandalised at the idea of one of tourists rolling up a joint.

The fact you're so worried about whether strangers would believe what he's said (even though they're completely different people to those in your life) makes it look like what he's said is true. And not in an abstract way like you've tried to make out. If a man was posting saying he had done what you're saying you have done he would get his (underwear free) arse handed to him.