How does this text make you judge my recently ended relationship?

[swervedmrnasty]

Dear Swerved

It is important for me that you know the effects you had on my self esteem during our relationship

1. Kissing a squaddie in a bar and getting an ex boyfriend undressed when staying at his place while I was looking after my grieving kids in 2017

1. Going to the pub in 2018 with no knickers on whilst I was working 400m away, getting chatted up by an ex con and coming home with their number

1. Calling me a ‘cunt’ last Christmas in front of all the children

1. Calling me a ‘cunt’ after the skiing holiday

That accumulation is when I eventually gave up on us: I hope you learn something from me pointing this out.

Regards

Mr Nasty (or is he.... hence AIBU?)

managedmis Are you trying to be funny?

he risked my family name

Is your family name Corleone?!

misses point of thread

So there is some truth to what he said. But he’s twisted it.

Was the guy, who chatted you up an ex con?

My first thought was what a psycho that's made up. Especially the no knickers one that typical paranoid delusion.

Yes he was actually an ex con. A massive muscle bound pent up piece of testosterone.

I found it funny and relayed the story. But I would have done so if the man had been 70 and in a wheelchair.

It wasn't why I was having a half in a pub I never visited before. He was in the company of my brother so I chatted. In a group.

I regularly go to the pub with no knickers on to give my brother legal papers.
Doesn't everyone?

You are well off without him and if you had any doubts this should confirm you did the right thing.

His friends may believe him - yours will know better. What does it matter what people you don't care about think.

Calling him a cunt may have been understandable but probably not the best move in front of kids.

Don't give him any more head space

The family name thing is important. Small secluded ski resort my family visit every year. And he goes off and buys weed. In a village.
My family are respected here and well liked as loyal customers.

You are well shot of him and I think any intelligent woman he relates that list will think hmmm I doubt tgat6

How does he know all this? The squaddie with sick on his jeans, the number you were given in the pub? Does he have a tracking device on you or something!

I don't know, it all sounds a bit pub centric. Couples who are big drinkers (and his weed habit) usually have volatile toxic relationships. It's a pattern.

At least you're out of it now op. (The relationship I mean)

The pub ex con and the friend with sick are different events. A year apart. In fact the only two times I was 'out' alone. Oh and the kids weren't grieving. He just thought they ought to be at the death of an aunt.

I didn't go to the pub. I went to my brothers house but he was in the pub. And there were legal papers we had to sign.

Infinitesheldon the list, whilst an odd text to send, seems to be pretty much true on all points

I think he’s well rid

I absolutely need to not get upset over this!!!

I suppose I am having a rant! He wants me to have it with him so sorry, I'm having it with you instead!

Much better scenario all round

You're not over each other. Do not get pissed and bump into him in a pub. You'll end up in bed with him.

I say this as a reformed party head with experience of relationships like this.
Look after yourself

@smileyclare

I wouldn't. He smells repugnant from his weed habit which he hid from me.

I can only assume his raging text is also related to this habit.

Are defending calling him a cunt, twice, once in front of yours and his children?

Can we go to the pub though @smileyclare
I feel like you are a supportive friend

I know it's hard to not get upset as it's so twisted and unfair but you've done the right thing blocking his number. I had a narcissistic ex who used to twist things and I look back and cringe at what I put up with and how I let it upset me.

I would call him same again.

Don't be such a cunt were my words because he was telling me all the things I'd done that were terrible - and like his text - they were over inflated, exaggerated and untrue.

Kids are all teens although I know it's no excuse. Yes his and mine.

But what have you learned from the cunt pointing this out?

I'd love to hear your mock reply.

Meh - I hardly ever wear knickers.

It all sounds very dysfunctional apart from that.

Calling him a cunt? That's not a normal relationship. I think you're better off apart and both need to grow up.

I've never called anyone else a cunt ever. Or since.

You wouldn't be able to keep up with me swerved

You deserve better than a paranoid weed head. Keep telling yourself that. He's messed up your head. Stay single for a bit.

@shinywhiteteeth

Now we could move this thread towards what I should say in reply!!

Cheer me up with your wittiest MN...

I would have to unblock momentarily though (realises this is quite beside the point!!) and promises I won't actually do this

Oh dear