How does this text make you judge my recently ended relationship?

[swervedmrnasty]

Dear Swerved

It is important for me that you know the effects you had on my self esteem during our relationship

1. Kissing a squaddie in a bar and getting an ex boyfriend undressed when staying at his place while I was looking after my grieving kids in 2017

1. Going to the pub in 2018 with no knickers on whilst I was working 400m away, getting chatted up by an ex con and coming home with their number

1. Calling me a ‘cunt’ last Christmas in front of all the children

1. Calling me a ‘cunt’ after the skiing holiday

That accumulation is when I eventually gave up on us: I hope you learn something from me pointing this out.

Regards

Mr Nasty (or is he.... hence AIBU?)

I'm confused, but think 1 and 2 you were being unreasonable, 3 and 4 depends but don't think they warrant a letter...

It sounds plausible as we don't know you. If one of my friends' ex's said that about them I'd know straight away that it was rubbish as I know my friends.

Did you do any of those things?

1
I didn't kiss anyone. I spoke to a very young squaddie who tried to chat me up - old enough to be his mother. This was
During a night out with a childhood family friend. Who got so drunk I put him to bed and took his jeans off as they had sick on them - we had a brief fling 4 years prior but maintained a proper friendship and still do. We grew up together as families.

I'd been gardening all day and had a hot bath soak. I had to drop something to my brother (legal paperwork) but my brother was in the pub so I tracked him down there where a friend of his gave me a number. I found it supremely funny as again the man was very much too young and it wasn't why I was in the pub. Maxi dress! No make up. Twice his age. Took the napkin with number as it was easier to say thanks I'm flattered and threw it in bin.

I did call him a cunt. He was being one. It was muttered.

I did call him a cunt as he risked my family name by buying weed whilst abroad.

I'm so annoyed by his text. That's why I posted. Haven't got any girlfriends to dissect with and it bothers me this is what he is saying about me.

It sounds like a horrible relationship. Thank god you are no longer in it.

Anyone who knows you and cares about you will know they aren't getting the full picture if he says this to them. Anyone who blindly believes a man who is clearly quite a flawed individual, by your account, (cunt x 2), isn't worth worrying about.

I don’t know what you want strangers to say? We don’t know whose side of the story to take? And obviously his friends will take his side and your friends will take yours, and does it even matter, because you sound better off without one another whatever the details of who did what to whom?

1. So you did get an ex boyfriend (fling) undressed.

1. You did take a number

1. Doesn't matter if it was muttered, it shouldn't be said in front of children.

1. How did he risk your family name? So you did also call him a cunt again.

There are partial truths in what he has said.

Block him, call him a cunt once more for old times sake if you want but mainly really just block him

What's wrong with a maxi dress?

I’m sure if he took a female friend home and helped undress her (as innocently as you claim) you’d be furious. It’s not what you do in a relationship - always an excuse.

Why don't you have any girlfriends?

Wondering if he discouraged it.

@Inkpaperstars apparently everything if you chose to wear it without knickers on a hot summer evening after a bath.

It means you've gone out to have sex obviously

@nanbread I have lots of friends. Just not here where I moved to for the relationship and it's not something I'd call them up to moan about

Missing point of thread but if you were in a maxi dress how did anyone know you had no pants on??

In other remarks, I'm not remotely shocked you don't have girlfriends to chew this over with. You sound... Very strange.

And what on earth is this balls about family name? Are you in the Mafia?

@venice

My family paid for the holiday in a resort they travel to every year. A small resort.

He sounds controlling, manipulative and unhinged. You did grand getting rid. If he tells people these things about you they will a) know he is a liar or B) find out.

Dunno but you sound like a hoot

No knickers

Even if the text is a reverse, she sounds like a horrible girlfriend.

Why/how does he know you went out with no knickers on? Were you a bit oh haha guess what i pulled another young man? Either way, why does any of this matter, just move on

@summer
Sighs with relief!

Missing point of thread but if you were in a maxi dress how did anyone know you had no pants on??

^

Maybe it was a short one?

Why didn't you put any knickers on, OP? I wouldn't go to the pub without my knickers on, in case the wind blew my dress up.

You shouldn't have called him a cunt in front of the children, either.

Not sure about going out all night on the piss if he was at home with grieving children (?)

The relationship sounds completely toxic from all angles.

Just ignore that text. No point going over it now is there? Do you have dc together? If not, block move on.

I've never figured out his annoyance with my clothing that day. I certainly didn't announce it what with the fact I'd gone to give my brother legal documents.

My reply was exactly this

I have now blocked this number.

Still bloody upset me though.