To be annoyed the cleaner travelled abroad while we paid her not to clean?

[MaroonMacaron]

NC for this.

First of all, I know that I can’t ban anyone from travelling but I am annoyed and wondering if I have the right to be.

Our cleaner stopped coming at the beginning of lockdown. We continued to pay her weekly, I know some clients paid a proportion, some nothing at all. She was very grateful, said it was a huge help as she was skint.

As soon as lockdown lifted, she got on the plane to visit family in her home country (on the list with no need to quarantine).

All this time we’ve been super careful, not seen any grandparents, very little travel locally, let alone abroad (dh’s family is from Sweden and we’d love to visit but we are giving it more time). As I said, I know I can’t ban someone from travelling but then she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets. I also think she has increased the risk to herself, and everyone she works for, by travelling at this time. I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling.

YABU - she can spend her money any way she likes
YANBU - I would be annoyed as well

Similar scenario. I paid cleaner when lock down started she has been back to work for a few weeks but had to go see family abroad who is having treatment for cancer.
Even if I didn’t know why she was travelling nothing I would do about it.

I was going to tear you off a strip for your assumptive, entitled and thoroughly unreasonable attitude but I see MN has done that for me.

Bravo MNetters. 💪

YABU. Absolutely none of your business, like so totally utterly absolutely x 10000 none of your business how she spends her money or where she goes.

Wow wow wow. You self absorbed silly person. This is a woman with a family in another country. If my mam was abroad id be on the 1st available flight after lockdown. Just a reminder... Everyones poo smells the same and we are all leaving this earth in a box at some point. Your not special. How dare the hired help visit family with my cash 😂😂@maroonmacaron

Just wow.. Yabu

Are you serious? YABVU! We paid our cleaner in full from end of March to mid June. She is absolutely brilliant and we wanted to hold on to her. She is from Andalucia - she could've spent the entire furlough there for all I care. What she did with her furlough was her own business. Get a grip🤦🏽‍♀️

Maybe a family member is unwell and she is visiting them? What makes you have a claim on her?!!!

When bad things happen, many of us have a strong instinct to get home, whereever home may be. I was in NZ, which is where I was born, and with family, but I was quite desperate to get back to the UK.

It was good that you paid her during lockdown - many didn't - but think hard about why that seems to come with conditions. She is a person, in her own right, and makes her choices.

No, I don't think you're being reasonable.

Wow, normally as a new Mumsnetter I try to be diplomatic but YABU. Just because you paid her throughout (which is the decent thing to do), it doesn't mean you own her! You also (I'm assuming) don't know her circumstances, perhaps she had an ill relative she was desperate to see all lockdown, perhaps she was so desperate she put the flight on a credit card or someone back home paid - not that this is your business either.

I don't think the OP is coming back...

@titnomatani. No shes giving the hired help 50 lashes 🙄

Bravo OP, this was a productive hand grenade

Were you paying her £200 per week OP or more likely £20?

@titnomatani

I don't think the OP is coming back...

Would you?

It's got absolutely nothing to do with you what she spends HER money on yabu.
🤣 this is why I love mumsnet

🧨

So glad your cleaner got to spend quality time with her family. She may have had to rough it once she had paid for her ticket,I hope she didn't its sad you feel like that.

This is awesome, I think you have a clear answer.

Thing is, if you had a holiday already booked and we’re allowed to go (we went to Alton Towers), you probably would and that is no one else’s business.

The pisstake thread about this OP at ''the other place'' is classic.

We have all locked down for weeks and weeks without being able to see family and friends. Put yourself in her shoes OP. Imagine having loved ones hundreds or thousands of miles away that you are worried for. The first thing most of us have done, is check on those we love. How on earth can you begrudge her the same? She has waited until it was allowed, she has not broken any rules. Give your head a wobble will you? You are being absofeckinlutely unreasonable. Sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️

You are being unreasonable. Just because you paid her during lockdown doesn't mean you have domain over her personal life. There may well be a very good reason why she went home but even if there isn't it's nothing to do with you.

Oh give yourself a day off 🤦‍♀️

No wonder you changed your name!!

This is not a troll?!!

I'd be more worried that she came back to work for for us without quarantining first, especially if we had been very careful not seeing family ourselves. The money wouldn't worry me. To be honest lots of people profess that they are skint when they are obviously not.

she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets assuming much? If my kids were skint and weren't at work right now I definitely pay for plane tickets for them to visit.