To be annoyed the cleaner travelled abroad while we paid her not to clean?

[MaroonMacaron]

NC for this.

First of all, I know that I can’t ban anyone from travelling but I am annoyed and wondering if I have the right to be.

Our cleaner stopped coming at the beginning of lockdown. We continued to pay her weekly, I know some clients paid a proportion, some nothing at all. She was very grateful, said it was a huge help as she was skint.

As soon as lockdown lifted, she got on the plane to visit family in her home country (on the list with no need to quarantine).

All this time we’ve been super careful, not seen any grandparents, very little travel locally, let alone abroad (dh’s family is from Sweden and we’d love to visit but we are giving it more time). As I said, I know I can’t ban someone from travelling but then she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets. I also think she has increased the risk to herself, and everyone she works for, by travelling at this time. I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling.

YABU - she can spend her money any way she likes
YANBU - I would be annoyed as well

This has to be the daily fail. Noone could be that much of a dick surely?

You chose to pay her - your call. She can do what she wants.

You are being beyond unreasonable!

Going to see her family is a tad different to boozing it up in Malaga!

Did you/your partner continue to get paid during lockdown?

Of course you can't say what she does with her money, That is unreasonable.

What is unreasonable possibly, is that instead of coming straight back to work for you, when you had been paying her for doing no cleaning, she went to her holiday/visit to homeland. That is a bit annoying as presumably most people when they finish furlough wouldn't take the first week off work unless their employers were happy about that. If she didn't charge you and you didn't pay for her time away, though, then you have to decide if you want her back or not.

I think the risk thing is a red herring, she is moving between houses and households, that's her job and you will have to decide if that's a risk you want to take. Perhaps the airport will be risky- you can not have her for another two weeks on her return, but she may not want to come back to you if you stop paying her!

I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling

It was helping her, she got to go and see her family. YABVVVU.

Would you like to discuss the morality of employing a cleaner instead of doing the work yourself seeing as you are so concerned about people doing the right thing?

Ask her to not come for two weeks cos your concerned about the risk as she was travelling. You paid her a full wage with no stipulations so u can’t be unhappy that you THINK she used it to go away. I get where you’re coming from, but really it’s a non issue I think. Apart from the COVID concern you have which I think is perfectly reasonable.

You don't own her. I don't get your thinking at all. You decided to kero paying her, its her money and lock down restrictions were lifted. Its not her fault you have decided not to travel.

I think you're being unreasonable as you don't know how she paid for the tickets or her reason for travelling. If your employer told you you can't travel abroad I imagine you'd be miffed. If you're worried about her putting you at risk, why not vacate the house while she comes to clean. If one of my clients said they weren't happy about my travelling , they wouldn't be my client anymore

Boozing it up would also be a legal and totally acceptable thing to do.
Perfectly true, and I considered not putting it in. I do think the OP would have slightly more of a point if the cleaner had, say, gone on a summer holiday to Magaluf and then had to quarantine for two weeks afterwards, delaying her ability to restart cleaning. I do also think the OP is being slightly extra U by objecting to a trip to see family, but she would also have been U to object to the cleaner doing anything with her own money she is legally entitled to do.

It seems the real problem is that she liked the thought of herself as Lady Bountiful keeping the cleaner from being a poor starving little match girl, and the cleaner's ability to travel fails to mesh with her noble, charitable self-image.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this disgusted by a post before.
That’s a human being, not your personal slave.

YAB incredibly U.

You don't own the cleaner. As other posters have said, her family could have paid for ticket, cleaner could been saving for a while.

What the cleaner does with their money is none of your concern or business. Many people have had a tough time during this. Imagine how tough it can be for people who don't have family in this country normally and then there's talk of a potential second wave, it might be the case that cleaner is thinking if they don't see their family now, it may be a while for them to reconnect if there is a second wave and another lockdown.

OP, putting it politely, you need to reassess your thinking on this.

I wouldn't blame you for not paying her for the weeks she was unavailable to work due to her being on holiday if that is your usual agreement however it is completely unreasonable to be annoyed with her for going on that holiday considering it is perfectly legal to do so.

This can not be real??????

Staying with her family probably saved as much as spent on flights (food etc).

Regardless it’s not your call at all. No where near. Either pay or don’t, but the money is not an invitation to your views on what she spends it on.

If she's been cleaning for a few years and filing her tax return correctly then she will have received the self emplpyed grant. You choosing to pay her is your choice and totally separate from whatever other money she has been given. If she has enough for her holiday then good for her. If her family paid for it then good for her.

If you're not contracted to pay her holiday time then dont pay for the time she is away. Continue to pay when she is back at work.

Who the hell do you think you are? Seriously. You have no idea how she paid for the tickets and you don't get to dictate how she spends her free time. Lockdown has been hard - you have been with your family. Has she been alone and desperate to see her own family? I cannot believe people like you exist - how dare you

Is it not basically the same as being furloughed, except that the money came from you and not from the government? Are you saying that NO furloughed workers can travel?! How very dare she!!

You paid your cleaner, it is absolutely none of your business what she spends her money on!

Seriously

I'd like to think this is a reverse.

You name-changed because you knew you were being an arrogant snob, a disgruntled Lady Bountiful, and that you didn’t want other threads linking it to you.
I like the responses though. MNetters come through.

Namechanged from what?

Daily Mail Staffer?

Jog on - you're just winding people up

Oh no! The staff have re-designated themselves from 'deserving poor' to 'undeserving poor'. Thoughtless, contrary beings!

That is a seriously controlling attitude, unless you are paying her entire salary and she lives with you (and even then it would be very controlling.

Yeah, I don't have the words for this level of fuckery.