To be annoyed the cleaner travelled abroad while we paid her not to clean?

[MaroonMacaron]

NC for this.

First of all, I know that I can’t ban anyone from travelling but I am annoyed and wondering if I have the right to be.

Our cleaner stopped coming at the beginning of lockdown. We continued to pay her weekly, I know some clients paid a proportion, some nothing at all. She was very grateful, said it was a huge help as she was skint.

As soon as lockdown lifted, she got on the plane to visit family in her home country (on the list with no need to quarantine).

All this time we’ve been super careful, not seen any grandparents, very little travel locally, let alone abroad (dh’s family is from Sweden and we’d love to visit but we are giving it more time). As I said, I know I can’t ban someone from travelling but then she’s clearly not that skint if she can afford plane tickets. I also think she has increased the risk to herself, and everyone she works for, by travelling at this time. I guess it doesn’t sit right with me that the money i was thinking was helping her through lockdown was actually funding her travelling.

YABU - she can spend her money any way she likes
YANBU - I would be annoyed as well

@DiscBeard

I've just AS'd. First and only thread.

The OP did say in the very first line of her post that she’d name changed.

Gosh it’s shocking that some people will unclip their shackles and visit their family when it’s not even Mothering Sunday. You’ve been far too lenient and t will unsettle all the staff.
Can the scullery maid or under parlourmaid do dusting and hearth blacking until the cleaner returns, maybe?

Are you having a laugh OP?

"With flight prices that low: if your cleaner can stay with family or friends, shop at local markets, and cook her own food, she may actually save money overall by spending a few weeks in her home country"

and most people staying with families are fed by them (which favour they return when visited)
so they have just the cost of a few gifts / meals out, which can save a lot compared to normal outgoings.

Congratulations you've made it onto Mumsnet madness on Twitter
That is one way for an employee to hear their master is disgruntled with them.

Hope she tells the op where to go.

This did not happen OP. All made up.

@DiscBeard mn have confirmed the op isnt a trol just really batshit

Wow OP. You are aware that you don't own this human, right?

More fool you for paying for a service that isn’t being provided.

Or did you do it for her undying gratitude?

YABU - cannot understand what the issue is

Shouldnt have given if you begrudge the spending. Sounds like you were proud of your charity work but wanted evidence she needed it.

Your views about her overseas travel (ie it being morally wrong) and clouding your judgement.

YABVU

I didn't realise by paying her, she became your property. How do you know that it isn't some kind of family emergency?

You'd really resent someone seeing their family? Lockdown has been shit for people with family abroad, particularly. DH's family is in country where most people live in appartments. It's horrible for him not seeing them not knowing when he can again. The testing/quarantine requirements and the attached expense is just too much. Mine are in UK but we are NC. If I had family worth seeing who lived abroad I'd be over first chance I got YABVVVVVVVU

YABVU and behaving like an entitled Mistress
I think you're just jealous that 'only a cleaner' got a holiday and you didn't.
Tough luck.

In the nicest possible way OP

Are you having a frigging laugh?

How dare she go see her family after all that’s happened.

She went to see her family!!!!!! I’m sure it’s the first thing everyone has done after the ban for travel was lifted

I know you won’t be back, but YABVVU. Tickets to her home country were probably dirt cheap (I know; we’ve booked to visit DH’s family in another country and flying is just not in demand at the moment) Also, none of us Expats know when we’ll be able to visit family again, to be honest. I’d go to my home country except they’re being exceptionally awful managing their COVID so am waiting a bit. If it were close, I’d absolutely go in a heartbeat.

Anyway, point is, it’s hardly as if she’s booked a massively expensive holiday (not that it would be any of your business). I’m sure she’ll be back at your beck and call as soon as it’s allowed here.

op, you object to your cleaner going to see her family

as other said, you dont own her, you paid, very nice of you

but your cleaner can do what she likes after lockdown

@gonesolo the seiss scheme is 80% of nett profits, not 80% gross salary as employed

so my earnings, minus tax, minus expenses = total, then 80% of that

if i got 80% of my gross income up to £2500 a month i would have been very happy

I have no words for how awful you sound.

Mind your own business. I know we are all getting twitchy about what other people are doing and you were good to keep paying the person who cleans for you but - no, nothing to do with you. At all. Even a bit.

Perhaps you should flog her for her impertinence when she returns.