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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women keep hair long to be attractive to the opposite sex?

999 replies

Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:33

It's always been said men prefer long hair it looks more feminine etc.
I know many women hate having their hair short and are devastated if their hairdresser cuts of more than an inch.What is the obsession with long hair? I have fine hair and cut it short because long hair looks crap on me but I'm definitely in the minority. Even women who look better with short hair because of their hair texture insist on keeping it long. Do you think that's because we are subconsciously taught mainly by men that long hair is more attractive. Plus all teen girls have that uniform ultra long hair there is no diversity. And no I'm not jealous because I have short hair!(well very short bob to be fair.)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
NC4Now · 19/07/2020 22:47

I have quite a small head. If I have my hair short it makes my body look chunkier than it is.
It’s easier to style when it’s long, and I prefer it.
Nothing to do with the opposite sex. It’s how I like it.

PinkyBrain · 19/07/2020 22:47

I’ve always liked mine big and swishy, I like how it feels and that I can hide behind it. Also I’d imagine short hair is much more upkeep and maintenance as in you’d have to style it every day and go to the hairdressers all the time whereas I can just dip in and out for a trim when I feel like and put it in a ponytail when I can’t be bothered with it.

recklessruby · 19/07/2020 22:48

I have longish hair at the moment. I like it like that for me even though its usually up for work. It s just easier.
6 years ago I had it cut short and looked awful. It made me look older and a bit boring and i hated it.
Dont care what men think as dont have one in my life apart from ds who wouldn't notice if I suddenly grew a unicorn spike out of my forehead Grin

Housewoes23 · 19/07/2020 22:48

I keep mine long because my girlfriend likes it.

thisaintmyusername · 19/07/2020 22:49

@Housewoes23

I keep mine long because my girlfriend likes it.
I was just going to make this point. Why would lesbian women want to appeal to men, OP?
madwoman1ntheattic · 19/07/2020 22:49

I actually really like short hair, but my hair line at the back is essentially my shoulder blades. I can’t be arsed with the faff of getting it shaved all the time, and getting ingrown hairs and boils in the shave line, so as I am clearly half ape, longer is way less maintenance. (Plus I have long grey madly curly and frizzy hair that is like Halloween 365 days a year. Between witch and ape, I far prefer witch. But to be fair, neither brings the boys to the yard, for which I am immensely grateful.)
I don’t bleach, colour, straighten or curl. I don’t give a fuck what men prefer.

Northernsoullover · 19/07/2020 22:49

I have ultra fine hair op and it looks awful short. Its poker straight and can't be styled well.
It doesn't look great long either so I keep it shoulder length.

ifyoulikepinacolada · 19/07/2020 22:50

I’m not going to claim that I’m immune to cultural pressures but I’ve had hair all lengths and to keep a pixie crop means getting it trimmed every six weeks. Life, quite frankly, is too short for that shit. It’s far lower maintenance when it’s longer and I am lazy!

ComDummings · 19/07/2020 22:50

@iVampire

My hair is long because I’m as lazy as fuck, and don’t really like going to the hairdressers
Same.
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 19/07/2020 22:51

I have long hair for 2 reasons. I haven't managed to get it cut professionally in over 20 years due to trauma (can't stand strangers touching it). Prior to that I had it long because I'm lazy. My hair is thick and curly. Unless it's very short, styling it when its above the collar is a pain.

MumW · 19/07/2020 22:52

Long, very straight hair seems to be fashionable with girls whilst it's the boys going in for the highly stylised look.
For some reason teenagers seem to be obsessed with dying their hair grey too.Confused

I have my hair shoulder length as it means I don't have to spend hours with a hair drier/tongs and can just let it dry. Also cheaper as it doesn't need cutting every 4 or 5 weeks. Grin

talkingkrustydoll · 19/07/2020 22:53

My hair has been every length. I love it short but it grows out so fast. I'm currently sporting a tiger king style mullet due to not being able to afford the hairdressers since lockdown. Can't say it's a good look on anyone.

As for teenagers my 15yr old dd has a very short Bob as she hates having long hair.

Original poster
Ilovegreentomatoes · 19/07/2020 22:53

Obviously I've been proven wrong.Interesting.

OP posts:
OobleFloobleBooble · 19/07/2020 22:53

No, I keep my hair long because it's naturally curly and horribly frizzy and if I have it cut short I have to spend ages styling it every day. If I keep it long the curls drop out into waves and I can tie it up out of the way. Have had it both short and long and DH never even noticed and nor did anyone else really Hmm

WinterAndRoughWeather · 19/07/2020 22:54

Everybody thinks the Male Gaze doesn’t affect them, just like everyone thinks they’re not influenced by advertising. But of course they are, and of course that’s why Women Have Long Hair.

It’s not consciously for men though, it’s more complicated than that.

squeekums · 19/07/2020 22:55

I have long hair, to my ass long
I keep it long for me, i hate the look of my face with short hair, it just dont suit me
what dp may think dont come into it, if it did, i would have asked his opinion when i went purple, instead i just announced i was going purple

Yubaba · 19/07/2020 22:55

I have long waist length hair.
I keep it long because I hate going to the hairdressers, I don’t like hair in my face and I can’t be bothered to wash and style it every day.
Absolutely nothing to do with anyone else, I’ve had long hair all my life, the shortest it’s ever been is a shoulder length bob.

Starbuggy · 19/07/2020 22:56

I’m a lesbian so definitely not keeping my hair long for the benefit of men! And single and not looking for anyone so not for the benefit of women either!

It’s literally because I hate going to the hair dressers, my hair is naturally straightish, rather limp and boring so left long needs nothing more than a hairbrush. I’ve never had it short, but from friends with short hair it seems to need far more styling and maintenance than my long hair! Unless you go shaved short which doesn’t appeal to me for myself.

userxx · 19/07/2020 22:57

I look like a mushroom with short hair 🤷‍♂️

Dylaninthemovies1 · 19/07/2020 22:57

Nope. Couldn’t care less what men (apart from DH) think of my hair. My mum however is obsessed with my hair. Put olive oil every bloody week on it as a kid to thicken it up. She gets very upset when it gets cut!

Women are much more likely to notice and comment on long hair

Rockhopper81 · 19/07/2020 22:58

I have short hair. I also have a fat, round face. I could not give a stuff how this affects any supposed attractiveness I might have. I had long hair for a long time, but I never did anything with it - constantly pulled up - so I had it chopped off years ago so it was lighter.

I don't do anything with it though - it does what it wants unless I'm very forceful with the styling, and to be honest I can't be arsed with that.

In all fairness, I wear what I want without any consideration of attractiveness too, so maybe I'm just the anomaly that doesn't give a damn??

I do know of two women who haven't had their hair cut short because their partners wouldn't like it though, to be fair to the OP. I couldn't be doing with that personally!

Illdealwithitinaminute · 19/07/2020 22:58

Hair length is an age thing.

Last year I went to a conference, there was about 200 women there over the age of 35/40 I guess (and some men) and every single one apart from me had either bob or short length hair. I couldn't believe it, I kept checking (it was not an interesting conference). So, women either believe long hair is for the under 40's or prefer shorter hair or feel they will be condemned for having long hair or as they age their hair grows less well, or any combination of these factors.

It is very hard for female teens to have short hair without it become a political identity statement, my dd had her hair cut and she got non-stop remarks about lesbians at school, mistaken for trans in the street (and then the person was rude), it was very tiresome as she simply liked shorter hair. She was very mature about it as she has lots of lesbian/trans friends, many of whom have long hair anyway, but it was tiring and she grew her hair out even though if all things had been equal I think she might have kept the short hair.

I love my long hair, I'll be the 80 year old with long hair, I just don't care if it looks incongruous.

Theluggage15 · 19/07/2020 22:59

I had mine really short when I was in my twenties and was slim, with good bone structure and dare I say it, quite attractive. The very short style suited me then, I liked it and it certainly didn’t leave me short of blokes.

Now I’m 50 and chubby, I need a forgiving hairstyle, short hair would not suit me at all. Surely most women just have what they think suits them best? Nothing to do with men.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/07/2020 22:59

I was waiting for the "well you actually don't know why you have long hair. It's not hour decision as you think" posts😁

AwkwardMoment2020 · 19/07/2020 22:59

I have super long hair and I’ve been single for almost all of my life. It’s thick, healthy and gets loads of compliments from other women. I don’t give a fuck what men think of my hair. One guy said I wasn’t ever allowed to cut my hair. I dumped him even though I had no intention of cutting it.

It’s also versatile and very easy to style. I find some short haired people very snobby towards long haired women, or even little girls as if long hair is a bad thing. Like that “uniform long hair”...what’s that about?

Not everything is about male attention you know!

My grandmother died with beautiful long thick hair all the way down to her hips. She was Indian, widowed, never wore makeup. She was stunning. She wasn’t looking for male attention.