To think that not hugging isn't that big a deal.

[TennisButterfly]

I keep reading on here that people are desperate to hug their parents other family.

I don't get it.

I just don't think not hugging is that big a deal, you can now visit family and friends. You can sit on the settee and have a cuppa, this is honestly how my visits have always been.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a cuddle but only my DH and my children. I just don't feel the need to hug my mum.

For the vote:
YABU - don't be silly I must hug my parents
YANBU - just spending time together is enough.

Some are huggers and some aren't. I really miss being able to hug my parents, but we are a touchy feely family. But if you don't tend to that's ok too!

Physical contact is one of the most basic human needs IMO, OP x

I may not be a big deal to you but please have empathy with those who are struggling with it. I miss hugging my adult children but can deal with this. What really pains me is not being able to hug my widowed, elderly. Increasingly frail mother who lives on her own a long way from me so see her only every few weeks.

I hate hugging and have a bit of a 'touch taboo', so not hugging is great for me (I cringe inwardly when I meet with friends who insist on hugging me and have been known to employ tactics to avoid it, such as jumping into my car to avoid the 'goodbye hug').

I do understand that many other people like doing it, however.

Lol I love posters who are like ‘I don’t know why people are so desperate to see their parents/friends/siblings’ and then casually drop in that they have a husband and kids so actually have no idea what it’s been like to be on your own in this situation and not being ‘allowed’ to hug other people.

YANBU, I'm not sure why people are making such a big deal out of it. Surely being able to see your family and spend time with them is enough. There's a group of people who are never satisfied and always want more, no matter what the announcement is.

I am a big hugger, as are all my family. I desperately miss hugging my parents, grandparents etc. It makes me quite sad not being able to.

But my need to hug is far outweighed by the risk of infecting my loved ones with a potentially deadly virus.

I’m not a hugger beyond my husband and children so it isn’t hard for me either, but I can completely sympathise with others. And the point is that I do actually live with my husband and children so I can hug them whenever I want - I get all the physical contact I need. If I had adult children living outside the home it would be very hard not to hug them I think, and certainly if I lived alone it might be hard not being touched by anyone for months on end.

@Meerschweinchen1990

Lol I love posters who are like ‘I don’t know why people are so desperate to see their parents/friends/siblings’ and then casually drop in that they have a husband and kids so actually have no idea what it’s been like to be on your own in this situation and not being ‘allowed’ to hug other people.

Yup

Go sit in a room by yourself for four months, op, then see your kids again. See if you feel like hugging them

Weird how you like hugging your kids but don't think your mum might miss hugging you.

Anyway, whatever, you do you and let other people choose the family members they wish to hug

I actually find it hard to believe that someone can’t imagine that it’s hard not to hug people you love. I don’t really enjoy hugging friends and relatives beyond my household but I can still understand that others do and find great comfort in it.

Worth reading about love languages - for some people, touch isn't important, but for others it's vital.

This is a stupid thread
You must know that not everyone's like you
I'm actually not close to my parents it's not where I get my support from so that doesn't bother me but I haven't had a hug from an adult since march -i normally hug people at work or my friends
I am more annoyed and angry generally, less able to deal with stuff.
Agree with the person who said human touch is really important
And agree with the one who said you've had another adult to cuddle so it's completely different!

I am generally not a big hugger. I love that covid has stopped people from doing that horrible huggy kissy thing when they meet me; I no longer have to choose between unwanted touches and offending people if I move away from them.

BUT I've always hugged my mum and dad. When I go round to see my mum, it feels wrong not to hug her when I get there and when I say goodbye. More importantly, she is now widowed so never gets to touch or hold another person. That's not natural and I know that she hates it.

I've been going to work throughout the pandemic and have too many contacts to do anything that could risk passing the virus on to her but I don't like it.

My parents have never hugged me in my life.
My mum touched my arm once and I just leapt away I was so surprised. I think she was quite hurt by that but it was just such a shock it was an impulsive reaction.
I'd love a big bear hug from someone.

YABU

You can get physical contact from your DH and kids, you have NO idea how hard it is for those of us living alone who haven’t had any physical contact with anyone for four months.

yabu
my dd is disabled. seeing her and not hugging is beyond hard.

Can I just say thank you, OP, for not writing “that big of a deal” in your thread title.

I'm not a hugger either. Just my children who I squish the hell out of all the time but I can't imagine a time when i will ever stop hugging my kids, so i totally get why people are struggling with it.

I'm not a hugger, they make me feel awkward. However, I realise that I'm probably in the minority with that and understand why others are missing them.

It is very important to some people. They really need hugs.

Me, OTOH, well I'm in heaven. I hate being touched. But I know that for the touchers, this is an awful time and I feel sorry for them be becauseuse it must be difficult.

YABU actually very very unreasonable. I have not hugged my adult daughter for months, it’s horrible. How would you feel if you couldn’t hug your DC?

Not a hugger at all so qute happy!!

I'm not touchy feely and neither are my family, but I was literally dreaming about hugging my dad in particular. I hadn't seen them for almost eight months when I saw them last weekend. We lost our beloved cat three days before we saw them.

Damn right I bloody hugged them.

OP you have no idea what you are talking about if you live with people you can hug. Being single during lockdown is brutal. Frankly you are an idiot if you can't understand why it's important for some people. God I hate smug married posts and this one took the biscuit this morning.

@purpleme12

This is a stupid thread You must know that not everyone's like you I'm actually not close to my parents it's not where I get my support from so that doesn't bother me but I haven't had a hug from an adult since march -i normally hug people at work or my friends I am more annoyed and angry generally, less able to deal with stuff. Agree with the person who said human touch is really important And agree with the one who said you've had another adult to cuddle so it's completely different!

Completely agree with this although I do have a dh and adult children at home. I work in a shop and two of my colleagues are dealing with losing siblings to cancer and it is so difficult to not be able to hug them. I also am getting increasingly angry and unable to deal with things.