To think that not hugging isn't that big a deal.

[TennisButterfly]

I keep reading on here that people are desperate to hug their parents other family.

I don't get it.

I just don't think not hugging is that big a deal, you can now visit family and friends. You can sit on the settee and have a cuppa, this is honestly how my visits have always been.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a cuddle but only my DH and my children. I just don't feel the need to hug my mum.

For the vote:
YABU - don't be silly I must hug my parents
YANBU - just spending time together is enough.

Not a hugger. I don't hate it but I'm not desperate for it either. I actually can't really ever hugging any of my family - I hugged my sister once but that was unusual. These posts make me feel like such a weirdo!

Not a hugger. I don't hate it but I'm not desperate for it either. I actually can't really ever hugging any of my family - I hugged my sister once but that was unusual. These posts make me feel like such a weirdo!

Urgh, double post

I'm not a hugger so quite relieved I don't have to hug everyone when we meet up! But I know friends who are real huggers and missing the physical contact

I’m with you @TennisButterfly - I feel no urge to hug anyone, except my DP. Parents, brothers, nephews, friends - I’m perfectly happy to maintain a physical distance. In fact I’ll probably be a bit uncomfortably when everyone starts wanting to get up close again - not because of Covid, just because I like my own personal space. (Unless you’re a cat or a dog, in which case I am totally up for a kiss and a cuddle).

I think these last few months have really highlighted how different we all are - restrictions that are incredibly tough for some people are almost a pleasure for others.

I hate hugs with anyone other than my OH but I still voted YABU because I understand that it is different for other people. This link explains something about why hugging is important for humans www.healthline.com/health/hugging-benefits#6

I haven't seen my parents for 18 months and won't particularly want to hug them when I do, because I don't like hugging them. However, I recognise that they will want to hug, so I just get on with it. I did find lockdown hard because I live on my own and until my OH was allowed in my social bubble, there was no hugging. Easy for you to say hugging isn't important when you have your DH there and can have all the physical contact you want - it's far more difficult for those of us on our own, even those of us who aren't particularly tactile.

DW uses a wheelchair, so hugging is a slightly different affair (as in you get far fewer anyway ) . These past months the one thing that has reduced her to tears a few times has been when we've popped over to see DS and not being able to hug him.

Just leave that there.

I hate hugs with anyone but we're not a family of huggers or kissers so it's fine by me. I do blow my DM a kiss when leaving though.

@CandlesBlanketsandTea

OP you have no idea what you are talking about if you live with people you can hug. Being single during lockdown is brutal. Frankly you are an idiot if you can't understand why it's important for some people. God I hate smug married posts and this one took the biscuit this morning.

Wow. Bit rude, not my fault you're single is it?

I didn't insult anybody, just surveying to see if anyone shared my opinions or how far off the norm I am.

Yabu, you have been hugging your children and partner so you don’t know what it’s like for people who haven’t been allowed to have physical contact with another human for months on end

But it was a stupid post though it doesn't take much to imagine how other people might feel

YABU

OP I think you answered your own question in your OP by qualifting that you like to hug DS and children. As mothers we are often subject to as much (and often more) physical contact than we want.

My DM has just finished 4 months of not physically touching another human being. Lockdown has been a very different experience for her.

Again didn't say you couldn't be bothered by it, just said it surprises me so many people are.

There no need to be nasty about it.

For the record even if I had been starved of company I probably wouldn't want to hug someone - I prefer my distance.

DH not DS!

I am not a hugger
I would kiss my mum, but havent

Thinking about it my mum isn't a big hugger either, nor was my Nana.

I wonder if it is a nature/nurture thing.

Also I live walking distance from my mum so I see her almost every day, might make a difference that I don't ever spend long enough without seeing her to miss her.

Human social interaction is very interesting,

With colleagues I am so Glad we dont have to hug.
hey i didnt hug my family, who came home, for a while

@Meerschweinchen1990

Lol I love posters who are like ‘I don’t know why people are so desperate to see their parents/friends/siblings’ and then casually drop in that they have a husband and kids so actually have no idea what it’s been like to be on your own in this situation and not being ‘allowed’ to hug other people.

So true ^^

@purpleme12

But it was a stupid post though it doesn't take much to imagine how other people might feel

You can say that about almost any post on this board though can't you?

Eg: AIBU to not let MIL to the hospital to see baby but let my mum.
Stupid post- how does your DH feel about that.
AIBU to have a party with loud music after 11?
Stupid post - how do your neighbours feel.

If that is going to be the criteria for stupidity then we might as well scrap this board because it's entire purpose is to canvass opinions other than your own.

You having a very strong opinion about something I am lukewarm about makes this post anything but stupid as it allows me to understand where you are coming from and have more empathy with you.

I am not a huggy person so I don’t see the big deal either with no physical contact.

Yanbu. I'm a LP so rarely have physical contact anyway. My teen DS hugged me the other day when I was injured, my daughter doesn't hug me. I've fallen out with my family a few times (ok now) so I'm not keen to hug them tbh.
I miss talking to people though.

My mum text yesterday saying she can't wait to have a hug.

I don't know who from as, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have hugged her anyway 🤣🤣.

I'm not a hugger. I find it completely unnecessary. But almost everyone else in my life is so this is really hard for them.

I actually prefer it now.

YANBU, but I wonder if you'd feel differently if you lived alone? Mind you, if that was the case you could form a support bubble with your parents and then you could hug them.

@TennisButterfly It might not be your fault @CandlesBlanketsandTea is single, but it is your fault for not showing any empathy as to what life is like without any human touch. You live with people, so of course hugging one extra person isn't going to be a big deal to you - whereas for those of us on our own, it's not one more person, it's one person. There is a massive difference between contact with one person and zero human contact.

FWIW, I'm reasonably happy surviving lockdown on my own, but I do miss a hug from a close friend or relative from time to time, and I really feel for the other people who live on their own who are even more huggy people than I am.

I'm fine calling or video calling, but I don't really want to see people in person, because if I have to stay 2m back and not give them a friendly hug or kiss, it's just a reminder that we're living in a pandemic. When I talk to them over Zoom or I phone them, it's like nothing has changed. As you say, human social interaction is interesting.