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Original poster

To speak to the school re. this

196 replies

peaches99 · 18/07/2020 17:33

Name changed for this one, its a bit outing. My dd of 14 has been very bored during lockdown (just like most of us). She has been wanting to experiment with her hair, and I have let her........to a degree!
She even said she wanted to shave her head at one point; yes right, over my dead body!
She has been staying at her friends for a few days, and guess what, she walked in with a totally shaved head!!!
It was such a shock, after questioning it appears that she has been chatting to some of her male friends from her school about this. When she stayed with her friend they met these boys at the park, and one of them took along his clippers and shaved her head!
I am distraught, surely this is not allowed, she is 14.
Please help me, does anyone of you know if I can speak to the school re. this?

OP posts:
footprintsintheslow · 18/07/2020 19:09

Too late to worry about the rules being broken now. It's done.

Poor OP is going to get a million people all night who haven't read the full thread saying 'chill your beans'.
She's chilled and having a good drink now. Stand down people.

Atadaddicted · 18/07/2020 19:10

@Arthersleep

You don’t have teens do you?
Any teen out on their own will not be adhering with social distancing.

Personally I have no problem with that whatsoever

BiBabbles · 18/07/2020 19:10

If the school has rules on minimum length (at my DDs' it's no 3), it should likely grow out enough by September. If concerned about that, it might be worth clarifying the rules so she knows for the future.

I'm glad she likes and for you, it'll be a fun story for later. My 10 year old DD wanted to shave her head, I told her that school rule and she had a no. 4 all over. It was a bit odd at first, but it's been fine. At the start of lock-down, she redid it...but just the front half. That was awkward for a while, but it's mostly evened out. I look forward to discussing the time she gave herself a mullet for many years....

rwalker · 18/07/2020 19:13

TBH she's been on about it for a while so it's not like she's got pissed and shaved it of . She's thought about it .
Wait till it grows back my friend had chemo lost all her lovely long hair . She found the hardest part was it growing back because there was no shape or style just on inch long all over .

Longtimelutker2019 · 18/07/2020 19:22

Is she a lesbian or trying to make a point? Just a thought...as disappointed as you are in her remember it’s her hair and it’ll grow back, Least she didn’t get a tattoo or something permanent! you’ll be laughing about this in years to come.....give it time.

MumW · 18/07/2020 19:22

If you're in the UK I would be worried about the lack of social distancing more than the cut itself!
This was my first thought too.

Don't forget to remind her to be careful in the sun.

OverTheRainbow88 · 18/07/2020 19:23

Sorry only lesbians can have shaved hair? How bizarre.

FrippEnos · 18/07/2020 19:26

peaches99

Its good that you have calmed down.

But your reactions are all over the place

Your DD organised this and put the plan in to action and you want the boys balls for ear rings.

LBH your thought for at least a moment of setting the police on him for a consensual act that your DD asked for.

and know that you have calmed down your just going to wash your thoughts and feelings away.

You have a lot to think about here.

Spied · 18/07/2020 19:26

It'll grow.

I'd be really worried about meeting up at the park though and the lack of social distancing.

Leodot · 18/07/2020 19:28

“You were looking for someone to blame”?! I get that this is a shock to you and you’re upset about it but looking to blame the school is absolutely ridiculous!

I can’t even understand why that thought would occur to you? You are being beyond unreasonable.

OverTheRainbow88 · 18/07/2020 19:28

Why’s everyone going on about teenagers meeting in a park and lack of social
Distancing? What do you think is going to happen in sept when they are back to school in bubbles of 250? At least the park is outside and they are having social interactions with their friends.

Longtimelutker2019 · 18/07/2020 19:29

Obviously not only lesbians have shaved heads but it’s just a very odd thing for a girl of that age to do And not uncommon for lesbians to do. I Just wondered if there was an element of showing her sexuality through her choice of haircut/clothes - could be way off the mark of course

Original poster
peaches99 · 18/07/2020 19:29

FrippEnos Oh definatly not washing my thoughts and feelings away.

OP posts:
Herja · 18/07/2020 19:32

What would you do if she'd just bought clippers and done it herself? Most people I know with shaved heads do their own. This has as much to do with school as it would if she'd done it alone.

She's 14 and it will grow back. That's definitely old enough to make non permanent decisions about her own body. Leave her alone, it's her hair, not yours. How would you like someone deciding that you were only allowed a hairstyle from a set last they'd decided?

HowManyToes · 18/07/2020 19:34

If I'd known how long I'd be working from home back in march I would've shaved my head. I've been tempted for ages.

Cattiwampus · 18/07/2020 19:35

Brace yourself for the first time she comes home paralytic, or with a tattoo, or smelling of weed, or with an unsuitable piercing or lover, or doesn’t come home for a few days...
The relationship you build now often determines the way you both get through the next few years.

canyoucallbacklater · 18/07/2020 19:36

OP, in the nicest way possible, does it really matter?

She's had a hell of a five months, she wanted to cut HER hair off so she did.

It's her hair, not yours. Yes, she went behind your back, but are you surprised? If her worst discretion is a secret haircut then really I think you can count your lucky stars!

Elastins · 18/07/2020 19:43

It’s
Just
Hair

Honestly, 1) it’s no wonder women grow up with such hideous body image hang ups, and 2) it’s no wonder she got a boy at the park with a pair of clippers to do it if she’s faced with this hysteria from you. All you’ve done is make her dog her heels in and set yourself up for further battles in the future.

Elastins · 18/07/2020 19:43

Oh, and it’s HER hair!

Daisychains20 · 18/07/2020 19:45

It’s nothing to do with the school as it happened outside school grounds.

Also it seems your daughter wanted this and wasn’t forced into or held down while someone did it.

Your daughter had already asked you for it to be shaven and you said no, if the boy at the park hadn’t of done it she would have done it herself eventually. It’s hair it will grow back, she wanted to experiment so she did, and she is alive to tell the tale. Grin

Now go and have a laugh at her bald head and make sure she applies sun cream when going out Wink

Itsarattrap · 18/07/2020 19:46

It’s got nothing whatsoever to do with School. Maybe tell the boy’s parents that he’s taking the clipper out with him but ultimately it’s your daughter’s responsibility (unless he forced her which is obviously a different kettle of fish).

It’s hair, it will grow back. She’ll feel stupid for a couple of months then move on. We all do idiotic things when we’re young.

MagicMojito · 18/07/2020 19:47

@Longtimelutker2019 🤦‍♀️

OP You you had a slightly ott reaction as I think most of us would have had in all honesty. (Minus bizarrely wanting to involve the school but hey ho Grin )

At the end of the day its just hair, its not even your hair, its your daughters, and she seems happy so all a bit of a non issue in the greater scheme of things.
I probably would have reacted the same i think (and with one of my dd's i can totally see a very similar scenario approaching in the future)

Be proud that you have a daughter who is an individual. You did that Smile

Original poster
peaches99 · 18/07/2020 19:50

She is out showing off her new hair do at the moment. At first I didnt even think about sun cream on her head, I had to text her, hope she has done it and doesnt come back with a peeling scalp!

OP posts:
Itsarattrap · 18/07/2020 19:51

peaches99

Yes it is a number 1.“

One of the Primark models is a very striking young woman with a No. 1. I also saw a poster a few months ago for, I think , Dior perfume with a similarly coiffed (or not?) model.

I’ve changed my mind. She probably won’t feel stupid. That was first reaction of a boring 57 year old.

I’m actually rather admiring your daughter’s originality now.

Original poster
peaches99 · 18/07/2020 19:54

Grin thank you, from another boring oldie.

OP posts:
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