To ask how much would your happiness change if from tomorrow your DH/DP were no longer in your life?

[DoubleBass9]

If tomorrow your DH/DP were no longer in your life (no specific circumstances behind this), aside from the initial shock, would you be significantly happier or unhappier?

Does your DH/DP contribute to your level of happiness/unhappiness significantly or are they just a small factor?

I used to fantasise about him just disappearing. He never did but we did split up and I am way happier. Still have to see home because of Dd though.

Devastated. And hungry - he does all the shopping and cooking! 😁

Think I'm being flippant because I don't want to even imagine being without him!

I’d be heartbroken and doubt I could ever meet anyone else who would match up. And my kids would be devastated.

I'd be gutted. He is my best mate. Sometimes we are head over heals in love and other times we are goofy mates. He gets me. I trust him totally. He is just a really awesome guy, one of a kind. Don't get me wrong, he drives me bonkers sometimes but he is mine and I am his.

I was on my own before I got with him (with 2 kids in tow) so I know I would survive but it would suck without him. We have chiselled out our own little nook in life and in a very dysfunctional way it works.

I was placed in exactly this situation at the start of lockdown, totally out of the blue.

Even though we often watched TV in different rooms in the evening, he was a Man v Food type of programme fanatic, and because of his snoring we slept in separate rooms it's amazing what I miss. The silence is very 'loud', I find myself wanting to rub his nose in it when I do well doing odd on-line games we played, we used to listen to the Archers as we had lunch and watched Countdown, again very competitively, he cheated(!), neither of these I can now do, even though I watch the 8 out of 10 Cats version because he couldn't stand it so we never watched it together.
I realised that I needn't close the loo door now, I worry that there'll be no more US road trips that we loved,
Of course everything had been made even worse by the lockdown, tomorrow I am meeting the first of our friends, four months on and I am going through what would have happened in the few weeks after his death, I am starting to sort his clothes now that the charity shops are opening, there are still shirts hanging on the wardrobe door since March. Last month I wrote a birthday card to our daughter, I hated writing it and she opened it after I left.
So it's been an awful few months and I think it'll carry on that way for some time

My heart would break. I love him so very much. I would be ruined.

My DH died suddenly in 2014, I was pregnant with DD2. He was my best friend and love of my life, together since 19.

I carried on, rebuilt and found happiness. You all would too.

If DP disappeared tomorrow I'd miss him but I'd quickly recover. Men are largely unnecessary, it just takes time alone to realise that.

I've lost so many family members that I've learnt not to be dependent on anyone financially, emotionally or practically. Without sounding harsh, I'd cope. I wouldn't be happier, or unhappier, just learn to adapt to a new life.

@mrsBtheparker I’m really sorry, your post was quite poignant. The silence is very ‘loud’ -

I'm so sorry mrsB that must have turned your world upside down.
I know what you mean about not closing the loo door now- the little things.
Wishing you strength

I’d be ok. Hardest part would be dealing with the kids upset.

I am a mixture of jealous but also happy that many posters do seem to have that kind of love with their partners, where they would miss them not because they depend on them as crutches, but because they have such a good friendship, lover and partner.

Unfortunately, I feel the same

I would be devastated. We have had a tough year, DS being diagnosed with cancer and then coronavirus hitting and I have struggled with my mental health while working from home and worrying about DS. DH has been my rock, quietly supporting me, being there to listen even when I am being irrational, and giving me a hug when I need it.

We have been married for 23 years and have had our ups and downs but I appreciate him more now than ever.

Would I get his life insurance payout?
That would make the difference.

I left mine 18 months ago. Once the shock and numbness wore off I found it a huge relief. I have a boyfriend now but thinking maybe he and I have run our course too. I normally see him on a Friday evening but he is busy tonight and I’m enjoying time alone (DD with her Dad). Can’t be a good sign!

I've been single before for a good 3/4 years so I know if I was without him I would eventually heal and move on. I can live happily without a man in my life. However, if there was a choice, I would choose to be with him rather than without him. He's flawed, as am I, but he's so loving and genuine. And I'd hate not having his family as part of my life. My mum is so serverely mentally ill that she is incapable of remembering me or having a conversation, so his mum has basically become my new mum. I love her so much and it might sound weird but I could cope without a relationship but not without my mother in law.

That said, I love my husband and adore him so much... the idea of never seeing him again is too much to think about. He's not my whole world (I'm very independent), but he makes my world brighter and better for being in it. Also DD adores him and it would be so heartbreaking if they were apart. I love watching my DH be Daddy and I keep daydreaming of having more babies with him 😍

Free! Happier

Hate to admit it but I'd be fine (as would he if I was the one who left/died) ... we've been married too long - 30 years + - our lives & interests are going in different directions but I get the feeling that neither of us can be bothered to do anything about it. I would just love to live alone, absolutely no interest I'm meeting anyone else, just want to live my own life (we do pretty much live independent lives, certainly no longer share a bedroom ).

I think I would be happier. Sad thing to say really.

Practically I would cope (as in we don't have children, I could manage the mortgage on my own etc)

Emotionally I would be totally devastated. He makes my life so much better by being in it.

If I could turn back the clock I would not have married my husband. Now we have children together and it’s not just about me and him and, as the father of my children, he is going to be part of my life even if we split up. But I so wish I was free from this bond and I know I would be happier without him.

I'd be much unhappier. We've been going through some difficult stuff recently and through all of it, even when we're both utterly miserable and beaten down by it, he's my best friend and he always makes me laugh. He's gone out for the day/night to see a friend and I'm at home doing some work, and even years down the line I'm genuinely excited for him to get home.

I would be totally lost without my DH, he does so much to help me (I have MS) he is my soul mate, been together since we were 17, I wouldn’t want to imagine my life without him.

I left my moody H last year and I’m happier. Had he died, after the initial shock, I think I would have felt the same. I certainly would have been financially much better off.

Practically I would also cope. Emotionally I don't know what I would do. We met when I was 18, he is genuinely my best friend and he is a fantastic father.