I know I’m not being unfair, but should I tell her to piss off?

[Playmysong]

I have a apple tree in my garden, which has a reasonable crop. Neighbour 1 asks for and does get apples (last year stripped it when I was on holiday). This year I have expressly told her not to come in my garden as we have been shielding. She has asked twice and I have given her apples, though not as many as she would have liked (she lives alone so wants them to make pies for other people). I have also given neighbour 2 apples as well this year, which I don’t think neighbour 1 was happy about.

Yesterday a friend of my daughter stopped to speak and I asked her if she wanted some apples for her mum. She said yes please, so I picked a bag for her to take. However, my son in law was standing outside my gate whilst this was happening, and afterwards told me that neighbour 1 had been standing at her door listening and wasn’t looking very happy!

Neighbour 1 and I have a ‘fragile’ relationship and there have been a number of issues between us, but on the whole it has been okay for last few years. I’m pretty sure she will say something to me about the apples. My dh thinks I should apologise to her to keep the peace, however I think that if she acts entitled I should just tell her to piss of! Who is right?

Unless “apples” are weed?

WTF. They are your apples that you can do what you like with. She sounds awful. How did she get in your garden? I would ensure she couldn't get in the garden and I wouldn't be giving her apples.

You could say politely that you have already allocated the apples this year, but may be able to spare a few for her? I got a bit cross when someone local requested 8 equal-sized specimens of our rather good apples for dinner party. They are a gift of surplus fruit, not a commodity.

Apologise to her for not giving her all tge apples?! She wouldnt even get the rotten ones from me

Forget shielding. It's your fucking tree, in your fucking garden. It's not overhang, which she might be allowed to have.

For her to take the piss last year and strip it (regardless of.you being away) and not at least give you back half plus, she has then pissed on her own fire.

Fuck the bitch, and deny her any apples hence forth.

I'm.often.one for compromise and being friendly, but I'm.also one who can't stand bullies and selfish twats. She is both.

STAND YOUR GROUND and do not budge. She's won if you do.

Make your own stewed apple jam/pie etc.

I would of told her to sod off the 1st time she demanded the fruit.
I could understand it if you were leaving the fruit to rot on the tree/ bush/ floor but even then its your fruit if you want it to rot then so be it.

For them that said OP could buy her neighbour a fruit tree that is far to generous, BUT I would be kind and over sweet and hand her the pips / seeds and say I grew my tree/ bush from a pip here you go you can grow your own .

The neighbour can not be nasty to @Playmysong because of the generosity but would would probably seethe inside

Set fire to the tree.

I think your husband appears to have lost his spine. Tell him he must find it at once. Apologise to neighbour?? Wtaf. I'd tell both neighbour and husband to eff off! It's your tree. You give them to who you bloody well like.

Would your dh prefer a happy wife or a happy neighbour. He's not going to have both.

Tell her to get her own sodding apple tree.

“Set fire to the tree.“

Massive eye roll.

Isn’t it very early for apples?

Apples aren't ready for picking yet so this post is all wrong. What exactly are you talking about OP?

All the apples round my way are not full size yet and still hard as rocks. Definitely not picking season.

Read the OP’s posts, @Vedaisawesome. ‘But apples aren’t ripe yet!!!’ has turned into ‘Cancel the cheque!’

@mousey37

Isn’t it very early for apples?

I suspect OP is trying to change details of the post eg what type of tree to avoid being identified.

I would guess at cherry, and the reason there were none on their return was that the birds stripped it whilst there was no activity in the garden. I am gutted I was offered some cherries this year and went back 3 days later - birds had stripped the trees.

Just smile sweetly at her and comment how nice it is to share with many other people. My apple trees never have apples big enough for picking before September. I also do share with friends though. We have 3 trees and this year is a good cropping year for apples.

I think you kindly need to remind her that the tree is yours, and that you may give/not give them to whomever you choose

I’m honestly jealous that someone has any kind of fruit tree in their garden that is growing so well they can give away fruit. I can’t make anything grow. I’d love to be that person.

Tell her to go buy her own bloody “apples” and spend more time in your garden admiring your fruit. Good for you.

Just chop the tree down. It's more hassle than it's worth tbh!

Does anyone remember the MN short lived craze for wanting to punch cakes?

@Playmysong I suggest baking your own pie, taking it round to her front door and punching it to smithereens to assert dominance over the fruit tree.

I would tell her where to go. She is clearly using them to gain popularity by making pies etc. I'd just tell her that in future if she'd like apples she will have to ask. She will get whatever is availabkr probably very little as you are happy to share with everyone not just one neighbour.

Perhaps she's a serial murderer who poisons her pies as the weapon. She thinks if she uses your apples then you will get the blame if she's caught.

YANBU. I just wouldn’t be giving her any apples at all.

I wouldn't give her any apples after the way she has treated you. It is your tree and she's not entitled to any.