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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know I’m not being unfair, but should I tell her to piss off?

231 replies

Playmysong · 16/07/2020 06:42

I have a apple tree in my garden, which has a reasonable crop. Neighbour 1 asks for and does get apples (last year stripped it when I was on holiday). This year I have expressly told her not to come in my garden as we have been shielding. She has asked twice and I have given her apples, though not as many as she would have liked (she lives alone so wants them to make pies for other people). I have also given neighbour 2 apples as well this year, which I don’t think neighbour 1 was happy about.

Yesterday a friend of my daughter stopped to speak and I asked her if she wanted some apples for her mum. She said yes please, so I picked a bag for her to take. However, my son in law was standing outside my gate whilst this was happening, and afterwards told me that neighbour 1 had been standing at her door listening and wasn’t looking very happy!

Neighbour 1 and I have a ‘fragile’ relationship and there have been a number of issues between us, but on the whole it has been okay for last few years. I’m pretty sure she will say something to me about the apples. My dh thinks I should apologise to her to keep the peace, however I think that if she acts entitled I should just tell her to piss of! Who is right?

OP posts:
RB68 · 16/07/2020 12:02

She has a cheek to expect any!! She took you to court or caused you to employ a solicitor I wouldn't even give her the time of bloody day

MiddleClassProblem · 16/07/2020 12:05

I think it’s pot

Playmysong · 16/07/2020 12:12

@MiddleClassProblem

I think it’s pot
I wish! Might help my chronic pain if it was!
OP posts:
Fuss · 16/07/2020 12:15

£60!? Where are you lot buying your apple trees? I paid £20 for a lovely 7ft one last summer.
The apples would feed a Lilliputian but thats by the by 😂

Fuss · 16/07/2020 12:16

Oh, and tell her to piss off

2bazookas · 16/07/2020 12:24

You don't need to apologise or tell her to piss off.

IF she mentions apples or recipients a polite statement of fact is all that's needed.

" We share out the apples among quite a number of other people"

Itisbetter · 16/07/2020 12:31

You don’t need your husbands help to say “no”.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/07/2020 12:34

"Neighbour 1 asks for and does get apples (last year stripped it when I was on holiday)."
Shock She'd have bugger-all chance of getting any apples off me ever again! You've given her them twice this year, which is twice more than she deserves.

Interesting that she uses them to "make pies for other people". She likes to look generous to these other people, but only if she can be generous with YOUR apples. How may bloody pies did she make last year, I wonder? And for who? I have visions of the local Women's Institute or vicar guilting her to provide all these goodies for the fundraisers ... and she's hating that you won't facilitate her 'generosity'.

"I’m pretty sure she will say something to me about the apples."
Personally I'd look forward to this. I'd be practicing the correct sceptical facial expression in the mirror to go with my rehearsed 'Do you not think you had enough apples LAST year?'

And your husband - his behaviour is absolutely NOT "nice". People who doormat themselves to be "nice" are soliciting the approval of the people they're doormatting themselves to. Why would the approval of strangers/shitty neighbours be worth more to them that the approval of their wife? Completely fucked-up behaviour.

LillianBland · 16/07/2020 12:35

@MiddleClassProblem

I think it’s pot
Pot brownies. Yum 😋
Esspee · 16/07/2020 12:36

Minnie888. With you all the way!
I live in the far north by MN standards but even in the Deep South surely apples won’t be ready for picking for months yet?
This thread is weird!

LillianBland · 16/07/2020 12:38

You know you have to get ring camera or similar and hide it, pointing towards you apple tree, next time you go away, don’t you? Imagine the fun when you ask her if she saw anyone steal your apples and she acts innocent. You then hand her a print. 😁

Esspee · 16/07/2020 12:38

Meant @Minnie888

Esspee · 16/07/2020 12:40

This reply has been deleted

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Alexindiamondarmour · 16/07/2020 12:43

Easier the OP has already said she changed the fruit so as not to be outing.

Alexindiamondarmour · 16/07/2020 12:44

That should say Esspee. RTFT

TankGirl97 · 16/07/2020 12:49

If she's so obsessed with 'apples' she should grow her own!

Your husband sounds like a wet blanket.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 16/07/2020 13:00

Ask her 'how do you like them apples?' and then take aim with a catapult ...
Down with scrumpers!

Jocundest · 16/07/2020 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Post references deleted post Talk Guidelines.

Jaxhog · 16/07/2020 13:10

Your apples, your decision who to share them with!

MiddleClassProblem · 16/07/2020 13:21

@LillianBland I’m now imagining a wily, little, old lady distributing pot brownies in a dystopian suburbia setting during COVID-19. Maybe some looters pass by on horse back as she ducks down behind her own apple tree before scaling her neighbours fence when the coast is clear...

I think I’ve been watching too much Community.

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 16/07/2020 14:06

This is bonkers. She definitely needs to be told to piss off

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 16/07/2020 14:07

Or set up a free 'apple' stall at the end of your drive on a day you know she will be out and give away the lot to other people Grin

StillCoughingandLaughing · 16/07/2020 14:09

You can get a dwarf tree for about £30 and a big pot for £30.

You can get a house brick for free next time you walk past a building site. Bunging one of those at her next time she comes scrumping Granny Smiths will be a damn sight more effective than a present.

66redballons · 16/07/2020 14:34

Bet they are cherries not apples

PoodlesOnPatrol · 16/07/2020 15:08

@66redballons

Bet they are cherries not apples
I think their cherries also! Honestly if it is cherries I know my laid back husband would fight to the death and she wouldn’t have 1 cherry let alone enough for a pie 😂😂