Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the teen should sleep out on the boat

159 replies

Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:23

rather than me?

We have a small old sailing boat which DH has done up, an old kit boat from the 1970s. A project.

It's quite small- for two really to sleep on- but at at a pinch, and with a tent affair another two can sleep out on the back of it. It's pretty unpleasant though, hard, like on a bench, and cold too..

Anyway talk of going away on it for a few days is filling me with dread. I'm mid 40s, perimenopausal, nearly to get my period and back got worse in lockdown. Baths seem to help a bit.

DC are not small anymore- they are 11 and 15. Two boys. DH thinks I am being mean to suggest perhaps the teen could sleep outside so I could have the space inside with the younger one.

I feel it is mainly them who are keen to go, so that is kind of fair? AIBU and mean?

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 15/07/2020 08:25

No one should sleep on a hard floor without some sort of mattress. Have you got a decent camping mattress at least?

Cadent · 15/07/2020 08:25

YANBU. Is your DH always so inconsiderate of you? Absolutely sleep inside.

Is DH not going?

AlexaShutUp · 15/07/2020 08:25

It doesn't sound much fun for anyone tbh. Maybe just don't go?

GalOopNorth · 15/07/2020 08:26

Let them go on their ‘adventure’

You stay home with the whole bed to yourself and the remote.

DH can sleep outside if he wants to.

Sorted!

StuffThem · 15/07/2020 08:26

I don't really understand the boat/tent thing but if you're the responsible adult taking the kids out, I think you get to have the pick of the beds/sleeping spots.

Pinkyyy · 15/07/2020 08:27

Why are you even going? Sounds like hell.

womaninatightspot · 15/07/2020 08:28

Gosh that sounds rubbish. I'd re-brand it a boys holiday. Male bonding time boys can sleep inside your DH on deck. I would suggest if you get stuck going at some point a double layer of sims (self inflating mattress) they take up no space when rolled away and a flannel lined sleeping bag.

Mrsjayy · 15/07/2020 08:28

Honestly I wouldn't go it sounds a misery and not a nice time away. My dh has a small boat he shares with his friend they use it for fishing he has slept on it overnight said it was the uncomfiest he had been in his life, if I was you and your children I'd go on it and then go home at night.

Ragwort · 15/07/2020 08:28

Just don't go, ideal for your DH and sons to have a trip away on their own, a real adventure (for them). My DH & DS frequently holiday on their own without me, they love camping, skiing, sporting activities etc which is not my thing at all. There is no 'Law' that says you all have to go away together.

Mrsjayy · 15/07/2020 08:30

Stay home is what you need to do, let it be your husbands thing.

jerometheturnipking · 15/07/2020 08:30

I wouldn’t go, it sounds awful.

TeaStory · 15/07/2020 08:30

No-one should be forced to sleep on a cold hard surface. The boat simply can’t accommodate you all.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:31

DH does sleep out there too. He did get some of those self inflating campaign mattresses yes, but it is still not great.

Also it has a chemical toilet but not very easy to use and not good at all with a period. Maybe I shall just let them go alone - they don't seem to understand why I am not excited at the thought!

OP posts:
Fedup21 · 15/07/2020 08:31

A small boat and a ‘tent affair’?

No thank you! They could go without me.

SarahBellam · 15/07/2020 08:33

Buy a bigger tent or don’t go. Actually just don’t go.

Doilooklikeatourist · 15/07/2020 08:33

I'd stay at home If I were you , let them have their little adventure , you stay at home and look after yourself ( and have a couple of days of peace and quiet )

Mrsjayy · 15/07/2020 08:34

Urgh it gets worse and worse tell your husband your period is due and you are not going.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 15/07/2020 08:34

Yep! Stay at home. Let your DH be in charge! Let him come to the cold, hard realisation that he has built something that isn't really family friendly. Maybe once the kids have grown and flown it could become your thing again (if it ever was in the first place).

But let him really feel that rather than being able to dismiss your feelings about it!

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:35

I'm glad to hear these replies! Was feeling guilty to not be joining in the 'fun' and a bit of a killjoy. It's not too bad if the weather is really nice and just for one night, but they will want to go for longer than that I reckon.

OP posts:
TW2013 · 15/07/2020 08:35

If the boat is far away you could go to a local b&b each evening, come out in the morning with orange juice and fresh croissants having had a lovely shower and cooked breakfast .

corythatwas · 15/07/2020 08:36

I used to do that sort of thing as a preteen/teen and loved it. For a healthy youngster sleeping on a hard surface does no harm. You otoh are likely to suffer from it. I'd just stay at home and let them sort themselves out.

Ughmaybenot · 15/07/2020 08:37

Fuck that. They’ll have a lovely time just the three of them and you’ll have a very lovely time with some peace and quiet at home on your own!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/07/2020 08:37

Just send them on their merry way. Stock up on bubble bath and galaxy chocolate and wave them off at the door.

Smashtastic · 15/07/2020 08:37

Just stay home! There is no way you would get me on that boat overnight. Perhaps you could join them for a day and a picnic or something and then let them get on with it?

Mrsjayy · 15/07/2020 08:38

Expecting you to be uncomfortable is on your Dh it has nothing to do with you being mean its lovely he had a project but it doesn't mean you have to participate.

Swipe left for the next trending thread