To think the teen should sleep out on the boat

[Orangeblossom78]

rather than me?

We have a small old sailing boat which DH has done up, an old kit boat from the 1970s. A project.

It's quite small- for two really to sleep on- but at at a pinch, and with a tent affair another two can sleep out on the back of it. It's pretty unpleasant though, hard, like on a bench, and cold too..

Anyway talk of going away on it for a few days is filling me with dread. I'm mid 40s, perimenopausal, nearly to get my period and back got worse in lockdown. Baths seem to help a bit.

DC are not small anymore- they are 11 and 15. Two boys. DH thinks I am being mean to suggest perhaps the teen could sleep outside so I could have the space inside with the younger one.

I feel it is mainly them who are keen to go, so that is kind of fair? AIBU and mean?

[Lilymossflower]

I think they should go and you stay at home !!! X

[CoffeeBeansGalore]

missymousey

"Bye boys, have fun!"

THIS!!!!

My husband & teen ds go off together. It's good for them, they enjoy it 😁

[Jaxhog]

Why on earth should YOU be the one to sleep on the boat?

I'd rebadge it as a boys holiday and stay home.

[MachineBee]

Agree with NameChange2PostThis - thus is a great opportunity to let them understand about periods. We don’t live in medieval times any more and men need to understand this a normal human bodily function affecting women.

OP - is your DH expecting you to go so you can take care of the cooking and cleaning?

[midnightstar66]

Ugh no. Don't go! And i'm a keen camper/adventurer but that sounds hell.

[Orangeblossom78]

DH does all the cooking to be fair

[Jeremyironsnothing]

Is his refusal to let you sleep in the cabin because he thinks the kids should be more comfy than you, or because he's wants to sleep outside and expects you as his wife, to sleep with him?

Either way, that's some strange thinking.

[jessstan2]

If you must go out on a boat then, yes, you should sleep inside but it doesn't sound like a very comfortable holiday anyway with so little space and I would feel very unsafe surrounded by water in such a craft.

[Allflightscancelled]

Ah no, orangeblossom it sounds awful.

Any kind of a 'holiday' that involves me being uncomfortable, unable to sleep and with a back that's out of whack is no holiday at all, and I wouldn't go. In fact it sounds a lot like DD's primary school family camp trips, which I also didn't go to. To be fair, I did have a very bad back then and used it as an excuse for several years, but even after my back was surgically pinned and pain-free I still refused to go.

Stay home and enjoy the peace.

[Orangeblossom78]

Yes if they really wanted me to come they would offer me the berth wouldn't they.

[midnightstar66]

Also can you go on day trips to swim? And share the experience that way?!

[GabsAlot]

ew on a boat with yourperiod-no thanks

[Happydinosaur53]

They don't understand because they'll never experience what you're going through right now. I think it needs to be re-branded as a boys holiday and you stay at home and enjoy the peace and confort.

[MrsExpo]

Definitely send the "boys" off on an adventure and stay at home in the comfort of your own bed. Perhaps you could drive to meet them somewhere with food etc ....

[jessstan2]

Why not just let them go without you? You could have a nice time at home on your own and let 'the boys' get on with it.

[Cherrysoup]

Wave them off and have a nice quiet night, hot bath, something lovely to drink.

[excuseforfights]

I would hate to waved off with a ‘bye girls’. I’m a grown woman.

[wheretonow123]

Do what you want to do OP.

Dont be feeling bad about DH doing the work - after all who was covering for him with home stuff to allow him to work on his hobby?

[Iloveyoutothefridgeandback]

Oh God, it sounds awful given all the other stuff you said is going on with your periods etc.

I'd do as PPs have said and just rebrand it as a boys holiday and enjoy the house to yourself.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

Hell would freeze over before I would do this.

And I'm with NameChange2PostThis - be blunt, tell them that your period would make this an uncomfortable experience for you; so thanks but no thanks, have a lovely time, byee!

[Bbq1]

@womaninatightspt
Initially I read your comment as "boys can sleep inside your husband"! Read it again and understood...
Seriously though as ppsais nobody should be sleeping on a bare wooden deck without some form of mattress/padding

[FinallyHere]

As I child who adored this sort of adventure I could never understand my mother, who was always prepared to stay and hone and look after

As an adult I say really only go if you want to.

Enjoy your time nesting at home while they go adventuring. It's lovely if DH to want your company, would be very selfish of him to insist on it.

[Zilla1]

OP, invest in a metal vice with attached blowtorch and hammer to crush, boil and smack his gonads for a few days every month to help him understand, if he is hypo-empathetic. It won't be the same but might help.

[tilder]

Wow. So much negativity. Why is boating/camping a dad thing, with the women staying onshore in comfort?

I love these things with the kids. So do they. I get that some hate camping type things. But if it's just about comfort, get a decent SIM plus sleeping bag etc. Kids on deck under the stars. Sounds awesome.

[midnightstar66]

Wow. So much negativity. Why is boating/camping a dad thing, with the women staying onshore in comfort?

Because in this case the dc and dad fancies it and the woman does not!