To think the teen should sleep out on the boat

[Orangeblossom78]

rather than me?

We have a small old sailing boat which DH has done up, an old kit boat from the 1970s. A project.

It's quite small- for two really to sleep on- but at at a pinch, and with a tent affair another two can sleep out on the back of it. It's pretty unpleasant though, hard, like on a bench, and cold too..

Anyway talk of going away on it for a few days is filling me with dread. I'm mid 40s, perimenopausal, nearly to get my period and back got worse in lockdown. Baths seem to help a bit.

DC are not small anymore- they are 11 and 15. Two boys. DH thinks I am being mean to suggest perhaps the teen could sleep outside so I could have the space inside with the younger one.

I feel it is mainly them who are keen to go, so that is kind of fair? AIBU and mean?

tilder

It's not a dad's v mums thing

It's a people who want to do it v people who don't want to do it thing.

Why don't you let them go all go away together and you stay at home?

It's not so much the boat it's the sleeping on the back. The boat itself is Ok

apart from the toilet

I sleep outside for most of the year anyway so I have lots of tips on how you could make it comfortable and warm

Huh? This sounds interesting, can we have a whole thread on that, @fflelp ?

I probably should start one but I think a lot of people would think I'm crazy and I'd out myself straightaway as my friends and family know about it. I'm the only person I've ever met who does it - out from the middle of March to the end of November.

@fflelp - that's what name changing is for!

I think it'd be really interesting.

'Excuse' - depends how you look at it surely - I love going on holiday with a girlfriend and leaving my DH and DS at home ... and I too am a grown up woman. What's wrong with being 'waved goodbye' ?

Is it just the terminology of 'boys' and 'girls' that you don't like? My 87 year old mother still refers to 'having lunch with the girls' when she meets up with her friends.

The hard board and the cold can be fixed with the right kit. If the bed in the cabin is vastly more comfortable then I would bag it on the basis that young bones are more flexible. Otherwise I wouldn’t have a specific preference (and possibly prefer to be outside as tiny cabins are stuffy). I can’t decide though whether time to myself would beat actually getting away somewhere.

But if you don’t want to go, make it a positive for you and them, cheerfully wave them off on the boys trip and order a takeaway.

Agree it sounds shit! Stay home alone. Totally relate to achey peri meno thing.
Your DH doesn't sound very considerate.

Nah. If they want to play Swallows and Amazons, let them get on with it

I completely agree it shouldn't be a man vs woman thing. However it was very clear in many of the responses that the majority view it in that light. Which is a shame.

Good god! That would definitely be a boys holiday here

Not a dad v mum thing here. The only way you'd get me on a boat is it was a 5* luxury one. Slumming it on a mattress on the floor is not my thing.

Stay home, stay safe, stay comfy.
Official gov advice!!!

I agree with you tidler. So much sexism on this thread. Fair enough if some women don't like this sort of of thing, but my 2 girls would have loved this sort of adventure as much as my boys and would have been heartbroken if their dad went off with the boys leaving them behind with me

Reschedule for when you won’t have your period, and you sleep inside. Your H would be inconsiderate if unwilling to do these things.

If you're not feeling well anyway then definitely don't go, imagine having the whole comfortable house to yourself, heaven :p

Fair enough if some women don't like this sort of of thing, but my 2 girls would have loved this sort of adventure as much as my boys and would have been heartbroken if their dad went off with the boys leaving them behind with me

Yeah that's a fair point, it's actually something I'd really enjoy myself as well....but not if I was un well

So wave them off from the front door, then make yourself a cosy nest on the sofa and have a Netflix marathon

LOL it's a Dad and kids thing, in this family it just so happens both DC are boys!!!

I'm the one to take my DC camping and they are all girls so on our house it would be the. "Girls trip" with DH staying smugly behind with the pets.

I used to do that sort of thing all the time as a teenager, along with just sleeping in a bivvy wherever I fell at the end of the day. Your sons will be fine, young bones don’t notice!

I’d not go in your situation though, it sounds like it won’t be great if you’re on your period and it’ll be more fun if they don’t have a tired sore mum there tbh!

We have a boat and similar set up. We purchased a double memory foam mattress topper (3 to 4 inches thick) and cut it in half to make 2 singles. Best night sleep I have had in ages

not a man-woman thing, MN does see sexism everywhere. More a 'people have different ideas of what is fun' thing. Not the OP's idea of fun. So she stays and dad and kids go. Problem solved.

Well, it just happens to be that I have boys, i would still feel the same if they were not...yes younger bones more flexible, good line to use.

(I agree very easy to have sexism seen just due to simple mention of boys / girls)