To think the teen should sleep out on the boat

[Orangeblossom78]

rather than me?

We have a small old sailing boat which DH has done up, an old kit boat from the 1970s. A project.

It's quite small- for two really to sleep on- but at at a pinch, and with a tent affair another two can sleep out on the back of it. It's pretty unpleasant though, hard, like on a bench, and cold too..

Anyway talk of going away on it for a few days is filling me with dread. I'm mid 40s, perimenopausal, nearly to get my period and back got worse in lockdown. Baths seem to help a bit.

DC are not small anymore- they are 11 and 15. Two boys. DH thinks I am being mean to suggest perhaps the teen could sleep outside so I could have the space inside with the younger one.

I feel it is mainly them who are keen to go, so that is kind of fair? AIBU and mean?

Oh GOD no! I'm also late 40s and I simply refuse camping these days.

It's awful! Plus we live in Oz so camping here really is roughing it. No internet...that's the final nail in the coffin for me!

Let the lads go.

They should all go and you should stay at home. I don't blame you for not feeling enthusiastic, but you risk killing their fun as you try to endure it!! Let them go and have their adventure, you stay at home and relax.

I used to enjoy camping too in my 20s but not so much these days. I don't like it if it is cold.

There's really cheap room rates at Premier Inn right now....king size bed, en suite bathroom......just saying..... ;)

My friend pretends she loves camping she hates it I just don't understand why she doesn't say her husband bought this mi I caravan thing and she still hates it

This has got ‘father and sons bonding trip’ written all over it, while you present it as you’re doing them a favour letting go without you.

They sometimes announce these things are a surprise for the family to enjoy mrsjay

Good plan elastins

Get a thermorest, pretty comfortable but the toilet situation sounds horrible!

I'm older than you and would love this! You should definitely get the pick of the beds though, and I would refuse to go anywhere with my DH if he disrespected me as much as yours does you.

No way. He's not prepared to compromise with you sleeping inside and the 15 year old outside, so you stay at home instead.
Tell him the options are 1) You go and sleep inside 2) You don't go.
Those are the options. He can choose.
But if you don't want to go at all because of the period then just say you're not going at all. No discussion.
I would absolutely love it btw and I sleep outside for most of the year anyway so I have lots of tips on how you could make it comfortable and warm but why should you? It's not your thing and there's a perfectly decent place to sleep inside the boat or at home in your own nice warm bed
Don't understand why the DH doesn't think it's fair to let the 15 year old sleep outside. If he's doing DofE expeditions he's way more exposed to the elements than on that boat.

Men often have this idea of making the family enjoy their hobbies. If you have looked willing in the past and given it a go, then now you can bow out unapologetically and rib them about how much you will enjoy being home alone.

I wouldn't want to go away at all on the heaviest days of my period - not even Premier Inn with nice sheets (all the whiter to get messed up).

Tell them to go without you.

Stay at home. Order food in. Have lots of hot baths. Watch all your favourite movies with no one to disturb you.

If your DH can't understand how that would be bliss, he's singularly dense .

@Orangeblossom78

Is your husband always so inconsiderate?

He seems to think I would enjoy this in the same way he does also he put a lot of effort into doing it up.

@Orangeblossom78 you 100% shouldn’t go... you couldn’t pay me to go on a trip like that. And they will still have fun. Also I’m a bit that you think you should go on the boat because your DH put lots of effort into doing it up... reminder: he’s a grown man who did it up for his own pleasure, not a toddler showing you his latest creation. You do not have to suffer to show your admiration for his manly hobbies.

I could say I may go when the bigger boat is done up. It has rood for us all to sleep inside in the cabins. The one thing I do like is swimming off the boat, as that has been difficult recently. But the weather is not great...

and maybe I will suggest we all go on a yoga holiday together so I can share my hobby with them. I'm sure they will enjoy that.

@Orangeblossom78

and maybe I will suggest we all go on a yoga holiday together so I can share my hobby with them. I'm sure they will enjoy that.

^ do this

Wanted to add, I have kids similar ages - and not both boys - and have happily waved them off with DH on adventure/activity/camping holidays. They know it is not my thing.

Also this could be a learning moment for your sons. Explain to them that you have your period and it makes you feel like shit so you don’t want to go on an activity holiday and sleep on a hard bed. Their future GFs will thank you And maybe explain it to DH while you are at it...

Sounds like a perfect boys getaway to me! Enjoy your peace and quiet at home!

it would certainly be a conversation stopper

Definitely a boys trip!

"Bye boys, have fun!"
*Opens the wine and sits down with a good book

I sleep outside for most of the year anyway so I have lots of tips on how you could make it comfortable and warm

Huh? This sounds interesting, can we have a whole thread on that, @fflelp ?

Absolutely wave them off!!! "DH I'm shattered and due a horrific period I can't come"