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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the teen should sleep out on the boat

159 replies

Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:23

rather than me?

We have a small old sailing boat which DH has done up, an old kit boat from the 1970s. A project.

It's quite small- for two really to sleep on- but at at a pinch, and with a tent affair another two can sleep out on the back of it. It's pretty unpleasant though, hard, like on a bench, and cold too..

Anyway talk of going away on it for a few days is filling me with dread. I'm mid 40s, perimenopausal, nearly to get my period and back got worse in lockdown. Baths seem to help a bit.

DC are not small anymore- they are 11 and 15. Two boys. DH thinks I am being mean to suggest perhaps the teen could sleep outside so I could have the space inside with the younger one.

I feel it is mainly them who are keen to go, so that is kind of fair? AIBU and mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:38

Last time we went, I noticed the boat nearby had a dad with his kids, and the mum and her mother (I think) waving from the shore have a nice night, we are off to the pub! and off they went.

It was quite a rocky night.

I remember being very Envy

OP posts:
FatherBrownsBicycle · 15/07/2020 08:39

YABU.

If you aren’t prepared to sleep in such conditions why should your children? He should have bought a bigger boat.

WhereamI88 · 15/07/2020 08:40

Fuck that. Do not go!!! Sounds fucking miserable and I would not go. The period issue makes it worse as well. Honestly, take the opportunity to have some time for yourself!

Cadent · 15/07/2020 08:41

If you aren’t prepared to sleep in such conditions why should your children?

Because they are the ones keen to go. OP shouldn't suffer.

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:41

The children don't have to go- they are choosing to Hmm they do D of E and stuff like that, cadets where they sleep out in bivvi. bags under the stars. They enjoy that sort of thing.

I did too. As a teenager. The eldest isn't really a child anymore either, at 15.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 15/07/2020 08:41

You have my permission not to go ( not that you need it). Sounds like an excellent boys adventure weekend, but horrific with a period and chemical toilet.

Nottherealslimshady · 15/07/2020 08:42

I wouldn't go. Let them have a nice boys holiday and you stay warm and dry

Hushabusha · 15/07/2020 08:42

Imagine what a lovely time you'll have at home on your own!

Cadent · 15/07/2020 08:43

You have my permission not to go

Mine too Wink

piscean10 · 15/07/2020 08:43

Sounds like hell. I would really sit this one out.

fairislecable · 15/07/2020 08:45

My SIL has a boat just like this and has upgraded to a bigger one my DD has camped on the boat in the past but now sees it as a bonding experience for father and child —and time to herself at home—

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/07/2020 08:47

Does he want you to go purely so they have one adult with each child? I still wouldn't go though, it sounds grim.

onalongsabbatical · 15/07/2020 08:47

STAY HOME - PROTECT YOUR OWN LIFE - SAVE YOURSELF FROM UTTER MISERY.
Sorry Op, couldn't resist. They'll be fine without you and you'll have a lovely, clean, comfortable rest at home. No brainer.

sbhydrogen · 15/07/2020 08:48

YANBU if you want to sleep down in the cabin with your 11yo, and DH and 15yo can sleep on the cockpit.

I've spent weeks on boats but never on the cockpit 😅 But if you don't want to stay, you shouldn't have to. You could wave them off and stop off at the pub on the way home.

paap1975 · 15/07/2020 08:48

Leave them to it. They sound like they will enjoy themselves. You sound like you won't enjoy yourself.
PS Is your husband always so inconsiderate?

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:48

We have a bigger one too! But that is still being worked on.

I could do with a break after having them all at home for so long to be honest. I just worry in case something happens, I should be there...but as DS1 is 15 he would be helpful too.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 15/07/2020 08:49

Has your DH never taken them away on their own before Shock? Let them go without you, they will have a great time!

Original poster
Orangeblossom78 · 15/07/2020 08:50

Is your husband always so inconsiderate?

He seems to think I would enjoy this in the same way he does also he put a lot of effort into doing it up.

OP posts:
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 15/07/2020 08:51

If you don't want to go, don't go. One of the perks of being an adult is that you get to make decisions like this for yourself.

If they want to go, wave them off and wish them a good time. They don't need you there.

BruceAndNosh · 15/07/2020 08:51

No. Just no.

sbhydrogen · 15/07/2020 08:52

I just worry in case something happens, I should be there

That's just being a mum :) Sounds like your kids and husband will have a whale of a time.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 15/07/2020 08:52

And if your DH can't look after an 11yo and 15yo, that is entirely separate problem. He's an adult... why can't he deal with it if 'something happens'?

BruceAndNosh · 15/07/2020 08:52

@BruceAndNosh

No. Just no.
I meant No you shouldn't go. Not no teen shouldn't sleep out.
JamesArthursEyelashes · 15/07/2020 08:57

I’m so glad that my partner isn’t into things like this. 🤣 Just stay home OP, it sounds awful unless you like that sort of thing which you clearly don’t. Wave them off, then enjoy the peace and your nice. warm, comfortable bed.

Divebar · 15/07/2020 08:58

If he’s grown up enough to build a boat he’s grown up enough to take care of two non tiny kids.