To not be bothered about DC friends calling me by my first name when they come over?

[hoohaaa]

AIBU to think this and what do your DC’s friends call you? DH heard the friends today and he says he thinks they are “rude” and it should be “Mrs” or “Mr. “ WIBU?

I think it depends on the people, some of my friends parents were Mrs/Miss Doe, some Miss/Mr Jane/John (It always seemed to be miss regardless of marital status in this case!) and others were just Jane or John. It was the same for DSis who is rather younger than I am and only just out of teenage years .

In my parents culture absolutely everyone would be a similar equivalent of Aunty/Uncle but that was reserved for my parents friends living here.

I get called Eden It doesn’t bother me.

My dc always introduced me as "my mum, Ruby ". I think its normal for their friends to call you by your first name. My own dc have always called my friends "Michelle " or "Melanie " etc. I have enough people calling me "miss" at school.
Cant remember having to call my friends parents mrs or mr etc except one scary mum and i m 52.

Your DH sounds very old fashioned OP.

I’m sure you don’t really want little children calling you Mrs Hoo (unless you’re 90)

When I was about six I was in my friend's house and friend had disappeared to her bedroom to grab some toys. Friend's mum asked me to 'run out to the garden and tell Tommy (friend's dad) that I've made him a cup of tea' and I ran out into the garden and burst into years because I was too embarrassed to call an adult by their first name

But that was in about 1980...

These days I'd think it was really weird if my children's friends called me Mrs Rossignol...

@VividImagination

I found that when they were little (under eightish) they would call me “Jimmy’s mum” After that they used my first name. However ds’s piano teacher is in his 70’s and I don’t like hearing the children call him by his first name. I insist ds says Mr X.

It will depend on what he prefers. I would hate someone telling their DC to call me Ms Mophead, especially after I've told them to call me Multi.

We have 4 DC and most of the friends would call me Mrs Hoohaaa initially, but I usually say to just call me by my first name. He doesn’t see the friends as much as he’s generally at work, but the difference with him is he wouldn’t tell them to drop the Mr.

The kids nextdoor, well, I do find them a bit full on tbh, because the parents let them knock in our front door whenever. They are only 4 and 6, so younger than ours. But they knocked and it was “Hellooo DHfirstnsme! Can we see your cat?!” He said, “Go and tell your mum, Mr X says you can see the cat when we’ve finished lunch.” That was the other weekend.

My kids friends all use my first name. It caused some issues when I got a job at their school but most of the children worked out pretty quickly that home me and work me were different, and that they can call home me by my name but must call work me Mrs Sea.

DD’s boyfriend calls him “Mr,” (he’s 17)

I think it's different when they're older, more self conscious, and don't want to overstep. I'm mid sixties and always knew my mother's friends as Auntie Whatever. This resulted in me not being clear who were my real Aunties.
20 years ago when my daughters were over the age of 7 or 8 I encouraged her friends to call me by my first name. What else would they call me when they spend half their lives here!?

When I was a child we all called each other's parents Mrs Whatever but that would seem so strange now - first names always.

As a child it was always Mr or Mrs for friend's parents. Rarely, if ever, allowed to call them by their first name.

Some of DC's friends call me MiniAnnesMum. Others do call me MrsQueenSables. None of them call me by my first name. I don't think it's that old-fashioned. It's standard at our school.

Having said that, my neighbours 32 year old son calls me Mummy2 in recognition of the the time spent here.

Does your dcs raised to call their friend's parents or adult in general Mr/Mrs xxx by your dh?
If not, it's odd to expect that from other children.

I think most variations are fine really. I find myself calling my friends "Auntie X" to DD, but then feel odd if I'm Auntie'd back. No idea. The one thing about Mrs that I'd find a bit odd is that very few mums in my social circle have the same surnames as their DC, and I'm not sure I can expect a primary age child to handle that.

First name only

We had loads of "Aunties" when I was a child, I had no idea who my actual relatives were.

My friend who is 15 years older than me said that she believed it would be rude for my children to call her by her first name so she wanted to be called Aunty. I refused. Both myself and my sister agreed when we had children that the term Aunt was reserved for actual Aunts due to the confusion we felt.

But she couldn't come up with a reason as to why everyone else called her by her first name but children couldn't. It feels very old fashioned.

I don’t think my kids friends would know what my surname is as it’s not the same as my kids and it’s a bit of a mouthful!

I think it’s a very dated formality to be called by ones surname in any other environment other than a school or a bank, it actually makes me uncomfortable as it implies some kind of servility/superiority dynamic. With kids outside a school environment I’d rather they felt safe and welcome in my home & requiring formality doesn’t exactly inspire that!

However, I do expect manners & any friends who don’t say please and thank you or those who are rude/difficult, or have poor table manners don’t tend to get invited back! I do understand expecting certain standards, but that expectation is just odd.

As for the pp above regarding the boyfriend & I suspect he may well have a wide vocabulary of what he calls your husband when he’s not around to hear 😂 you are so right, why people would want that stiff, emotionally constipated kind of relationship with the daughters boyfriend? How is warmth & laughter or friendship between them ever going to grow from something so cold and distant, or even mutual respect!?

Some of them call me Ellie, some call me ds's mum.

I'm late 30s and always called my friends parents by their first names and my parents were always called by their first name too.

My nan (maternal) referred to my mum's in laws (so my paternal grandparents) as Mr and Mrs X her whole life, even after my mum and dad were divorced. If she ever asked how my paternal grandad was she would refer to Mr X.

We are first names here. They actually refer to me as their second mum so sometimes I get called that too! I'm Mrs Principle at work so I'm more than happy to be informal in my own home.

I was always brought up to call adults Mrs & Mr, and still call my mum’s neighbours Mr & Mrs. My children call everyone by the first names.

As I child I was always taught to call adults Mr or Mrs followed by their surnames and even now I feel like I'm being too informal and rude if I call older people by their first names! But I think it's a really outdated thing now and I'm glad!

ds is five so I'm very much "Harry's Mommy" but will definately be Sleeping not Mrs StandingUp when he's older. Mrs StandingUp is fine if they don't know my first name. I tend to tell "Harry" "say thabk you to Annie's Mama". "thank you Annie's Mama" but that's cos 5 he's and that makes more sense to him.

Surely it's easier just to be Sleeping right from the start? So, hello I'm Harry's mum - my name is Sleeping.

I always greet new friends with "hi I'm thesun, you're welcome at our house, make yourself at home, there's the fridge"