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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To let DS carry on and get food poisoning so he learns a lesson

191 replies

Learnthelesson · 12/07/2020 20:30

DS (nearly 20) is, quite frankly a know it all.

He speaks to me as though I’m thick, argues black is white and is the most condescending, high and mighty little knob at times.

He’s got a habit of not being around at mealtimes or just not eating when our meal times are ready. That’s fine, I usually plate it up and he eats it later.

Last night I made fajitas and beef jalapeño kebabs on skewers. He was out so came home and reheated the plate of food in the microwave and then took it up to his room. He didn’t eat any of it (gaming) and so left it in his warmish bedroom all night. He brought it downstairs this morning and put it in the fridge with a view to reheat again for tea.

I’ve told him that it can’t be reheated again - yes it can he said - you can reheat food twice. He argued black and blue and forbade me to throw it from the fridge. He’s just come downstairs to heat it up and now and I told him that he’s being silly but if he insists at least to make sure he heats it piping hot.

No, I don’t like it too hot as I then can’t eat it. Cue me telling him he’s at risk of food poisoning again. ‘I know - I did biology in school and anyway if you put the food in the fridge it kills the bacteria’. I tried to explain that all that does is suspend the bacteria and he just laughs in my face saying I’m talking shit.

I’ve let the fucker take it back up to his room hopefully sufficiently lukewarm.

Why are some kids utter assholes? AIBU to hope In a small way he gets the raging shits over the next 24 hours to teach him a Lesson?

OP posts:
echodot · 13/07/2020 23:05

@diddl

"He’s got a habit of not being around at mealtimes or just not eating when our meal times are ready. That’s fine, I usually plate it up and he eats it later."

What?

Stop this!

And if you want to throw food away then throw it away!

My SIL does this 3 grown children and often cooks different meals for each one, plates them up at 3pm and they reheat it when home. Sometimes they don't even eat it and it gets eaten the next day or thrown away. They never have had a freshly cooked meal in 20 odd years.
Wellpeeved · 13/07/2020 23:48

Oh definately. I think I’d be wiping his toothbrush round the toilet just to make sure!

Busymum45 · 13/07/2020 23:51

Ha ha my 19 year old would sound the same, knows it all and comes out with all sorts of information and facts. They'd get on well.....

Busymum45 · 13/07/2020 23:57

To add, those saying he is horrible clearly don't have teens / young adults. The know it all stage and arguing black is white is not uncommon!
Plus moving out at just 20 is unusual these days....

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 14/07/2020 01:57

Yeah I remember the know it all stage very well

I wouldn't have even bothered arguing about it . He's almost 20, has a job. If he wants to risk making himself ill let him crack on

Yeahnahmum · 14/07/2020 05:24

He is 20. Let him do what he wants. You warned him.... 😊

Nellisterr · 14/07/2020 08:33

Firstly, loved reading your post OP... 'fucker' Ha! Secondly, he lives under your roof, it's your rules and needs reminding of that. He's at that age, adult but not adult, we have all been there and think we know best and test our parents. YANBU, let him do it and learn the hard way. And he clearly didn't study Biology too well...

NotSorry · 14/07/2020 11:01

@Busymum45

To add, those saying he is horrible clearly don't have teens / young adults. The know it all stage and arguing black is white is not uncommon! Plus moving out at just 20 is unusual these days....
you're clearly wrong - I already said I have 4 between ages of 17 and 23 - difference is I brought them up to not be so bloody rude to their parents
Terralee · 14/07/2020 11:18

I feel sorry for his future girlfriends...

Busymum45 · 14/07/2020 11:33

Mine isn't rude but he has his own views so we often 'debate ' a lot , I don't think this is uncommon at this age.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 14/07/2020 11:49

Busymum well if your son isn't rude then it's not comparable to OP's situation is it? Her son IS rude.

I see so much evidence of 'smother love' and infantilising behaviour towards sons on this site and it really makes me feel a bit sick. I'm expecting a 'boys will be boys' comment anytime now. Yuck.

happybunny03 · 14/07/2020 12:05

Could there be a link between the way you talk about your son/treat him and the way he treats you... bit of a chicken and egg situation? No denying some kids are rude to their parents, but it always makes me think where does this stem from? What is the psychology behind it? It’s not often that someone decides to take the p*ss completely randomly on a consistent basis...

But in response to your question, yeah just let him go for it and get ill (if he even does). He’s old enough to learn from his mistakes

Mir91 · 14/07/2020 13:03

Exactly what I was thinking

Wilkiemini · 14/07/2020 13:17

Stop trying to save him and let him make his own fuck ups it’s the only way he will learn

In about 3/4 years you can remind him what a jerk he was

dayslikethese1 · 14/07/2020 13:18

I think you should stop cooking for him if he's not there at mealtimes. Also get him to cook on a regular night for the family. Oh and start asking when he's moving out, if he's saving 1k a month he must have enough for a deposit on a rental by now! I can't imagine my DM's face if me or my DSis had behaved as you describe your DS behaving. She'd have sent us packing I think.

User50000999788887876655 · 17/07/2020 11:23

I think we’re all wondering did he indeed get food poisoning?

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