To let DS carry on and get food poisoning so he learns a lesson

[Learnthelesson]

DS (nearly 20) is, quite frankly a know it all.

He speaks to me as though I’m thick, argues black is white and is the most condescending, high and mighty little knob at times.

He’s got a habit of not being around at mealtimes or just not eating when our meal times are ready. That’s fine, I usually plate it up and he eats it later.

Last night I made fajitas and beef jalapeño kebabs on skewers. He was out so came home and reheated the plate of food in the microwave and then took it up to his room. He didn’t eat any of it (gaming) and so left it in his warmish bedroom all night. He brought it downstairs this morning and put it in the fridge with a view to reheat again for tea.

I’ve told him that it can’t be reheated again - yes it can he said - you can reheat food twice. He argued black and blue and forbade me to throw it from the fridge. He’s just come downstairs to heat it up and now and I told him that he’s being silly but if he insists at least to make sure he heats it piping hot.

No, I don’t like it too hot as I then can’t eat it. Cue me telling him he’s at risk of food poisoning again. ‘I know - I did biology in school and anyway if you put the food in the fridge it kills the bacteria’. I tried to explain that all that does is suspend the bacteria and he just laughs in my face saying I’m talking shit.

I’ve let the fucker take it back up to his room hopefully sufficiently lukewarm.

Why are some kids utter assholes? AIBU to hope In a small way he gets the raging shits over the next 24 hours to teach him a Lesson?

Yep leave him to it. If he's anything like mine he will just zap the shit out of it in the microwave. Killing any flavour & texture along with any bacteria.

YANBU
But I would have tossed the food. No DC is going to order me around or forbid me in my own home.

Btw, refrigerators only slow bacteria growth. They do not kill or suspend bacteria.

I would stop making up a plate for him to eat later if he is not eating it with the family, that habit should not have been started. Tell him he needs to practice making his own food for when he moves out.

Completely agree with a pp that the real issue here isn't the food, it's the complete lack of respect for you. He's treating you like shit in your own home. It's about time he booked his ideas up and starts showing you some respect or he find his own place to live.

"He’s got a habit of not being around at mealtimes or just not eating when our meal times are ready. That’s fine, I usually plate it up and he eats it later."

What?

Stop this!

And if you want to throw food away then throw it away!

He doesn't pay his way? He forbade you?

Seriously OP, stop the meals. I would have thrown it out anyway because muggins will clear up the mess if it happens right?

He needs to pay his way or move out. He can be a know it all in his own place.

Forbade indeed. Can't get over that. And you took it!!

YANBU. He forbade you to throw it out? What gives him the right in YOUR house? Is there no other food in the fridge or nothing he can make himself? He can fend for himself from now on- when it suits you to let him use your kitchen and once you're satisfied he meets a good standard of food hygiene.

You just know he's got a cast iron stomach, too... actually YA potentially BU if you share a bathroom with him!

Placemarking to see how sick he gets

I'd stop cooking for him tbh, hes 20 fucking years old... not 20 months

Why on earth is he living at home. Let him cut the cord and move out. Arrogance is not a quality.

Why on earth is he living at home. Let him cut the cord and move out. Arrogance is not a quality.

I'm sympathetic but I bet he won't get sick. DH spent most of his twenties doing exactly this, and often with rice or dairy involved, until I came along. He never got sick.

My bil is the same way with my pil. He's starting to come out the other side now, but we've had a good 4 years of him thinking he's the smartest in the room and everyone else is a moron. He was particularly bad with my mil, I regularly pulled him up on talking to her like she was an idiot. I'd stop being quite so accommodating for someone that doesn't appreciate it OP.

Why are you cooking meals and infantilising your obnoxious adult son who treats you like shit?

What's his contribution as a functioning adult in the household?

It's a normal phase of life in boys are that age. If their mothers don't throttle them to death, the reward is that they turn into human beings.

I'd leave him too it. my oh is pretty minging, will leave a cooked chilli/spag Bol out all night then take it to work next day and warm it up at lunch time after it being in his bag all day. He does this regularly. He has a stomach of Steel.

I hope he gets the shits. If my child forbade me to throw his food, it would have been straight in the bin. If he told me I was "talking shit" he'd be out on his arse. he's an adult and needs to show you some respect. I pitty any future GF if he doesn't stop being such a smug no it all!

@Somethingkindaoooo

It's a normal phase of life in boys are that age. If their mothers don't throttle them to death, the reward is that they turn into human beings.

Not in my house. My son is 19 and he would never speak to me like that.

I bet you he will be fine. Which will piss you off. I have the stomach of an ox and can eat stuff 2 weeks out of date. Nothing.

Would you tolerate anyone else speaking to you like that? If not, don’t tolerate him doing it.

Stop cooking for him for a start. And then stop hovering over him: he makes decisions; he lives with the consequences.

Then go and tell him to get himself downstairs immediately. When he comes down inform him that if he can’t put a civil and respectful tongue in his head - permanently - to his parents who are allowing him to live rent-free and cost-free, then he can take this conversation as one month’s notice to find himself somewhere else to live with the £1k/month he’s been able to save up due to your generosity. And mean it when you say it.

Dear god, if I’d spoken to my parents that way at 20 I’d have been bounced down the drive with my clothes behind me quicker than you could say ‘lippy bastard’.

No one forbids me from doing anything. Especially someone who is living in my home for free and not contributing. A dose of food poisoning will be just desserts. As mum used to say to me: my house, my rules

Yes leave him to it and hide the bog roll.

I'd slip him a laxative just to make sure.

YABU to cook for him when he’s not even bothering to eat it! Let him make his own food.

I’m an emetophobe so the food would have been thrown as soon as I saw it in the fridge again.

You want to give yourself food poisoning, go do it somewhere else so I don’t have to listen.