To let DS carry on and get food poisoning so he learns a lesson

[Learnthelesson]

DS (nearly 20) is, quite frankly a know it all.

He speaks to me as though I’m thick, argues black is white and is the most condescending, high and mighty little knob at times.

He’s got a habit of not being around at mealtimes or just not eating when our meal times are ready. That’s fine, I usually plate it up and he eats it later.

Last night I made fajitas and beef jalapeño kebabs on skewers. He was out so came home and reheated the plate of food in the microwave and then took it up to his room. He didn’t eat any of it (gaming) and so left it in his warmish bedroom all night. He brought it downstairs this morning and put it in the fridge with a view to reheat again for tea.

I’ve told him that it can’t be reheated again - yes it can he said - you can reheat food twice. He argued black and blue and forbade me to throw it from the fridge. He’s just come downstairs to heat it up and now and I told him that he’s being silly but if he insists at least to make sure he heats it piping hot.

No, I don’t like it too hot as I then can’t eat it. Cue me telling him he’s at risk of food poisoning again. ‘I know - I did biology in school and anyway if you put the food in the fridge it kills the bacteria’. I tried to explain that all that does is suspend the bacteria and he just laughs in my face saying I’m talking shit.

I’ve let the fucker take it back up to his room hopefully sufficiently lukewarm.

Why are some kids utter assholes? AIBU to hope In a small way he gets the raging shits over the next 24 hours to teach him a Lesson?

[Tistheseason17]

He sounds like a right royal PITA - but, typical immature bloke.
Make him clean the toilet after, too!! 💩💩🤮🤮

[Saz12]

He’ll (probably) be fine.
However, WHY are you letting him treat you, and your home, like this????

[elfycat]

The problem is that unwittingly you've become an accessory to him. You're useful in your way but you just expect accessories to work for you and don't give them a second thought, let alone appreciate them. You need to change the dynamic.

Can you spare a shelf in a cupboard? Fill it with super noodles, instant mash, tins of instant (non-branded, supermarket own) curry. If he's not there for a meal, well you've provided access to food he can do himself. If - IF - he asks politely for a meal to be plated up as he won't be at home then OK, but if he's there at mealtime he eats then, Or it goes in the bin. Make him reimburse you for the lost meal.

He should also be paying at least a nominal amount for food and rent. At 18 I had to pay £30 per week, and none of that saving it and giving it back - he's ungrateful and rude. He needs to learn that like comes with costs. Cut off the internet if he won't pay for it.

I had to do this with my husband who would never come to dinner on time. I pointed out that if I spent the time making it the very least he could do is come on time to eat it. You'd be surprised how few times it takes their dinner being a steaming pile in the bin for people to change. Even if he was in the garden doing something I'd have given 15 mins notice on food being served so busyness is no excuse.

[Thurmanmurman]

If my son spoke to me like that, food poisoning would be the least of his concerns TBH

[elfycat]

I should add I paid £30 a week when I was 18 - in 1990... so that would be a bit more with inflation now. I noticed the money gone from my wages...

[Feedingthebirds1]

The bugger is going to be if he doesn't get food poisoning - his superiority is going to know no bounds.

OP you may want him to have his own home, but it shouldn't be at the expense of treating you so appallingly in every way. Time he learned what real life is about.

[Sciurus83]

Stop cooking for him! If he's going to treat you like that he can make his own bloody dinner. He needs teaching he can't treat women like this, one day he will have a wife and you need to deal with this crap for her sake

[cdtaylornats]

I had a flatmate who was about to eat sausages with little white dots on the surface. I eventually had to buy them from him.

[Cakecrumbsinmybra]

I came on here to say 'omg OP stop cooking for him', but no I'm intrigued by the PP paying their flatmate not to eat the sausages???

[lljkk]

I would eat all that after 2nd reheat & be absolutely fine. In fact, I've done it with rice many times.

I don't think this thread is about food hygiene, though.

[LemonadeAndDaisyChains]

Nearly 20?!
Leave him to it!
You can say your piece, but at that age if they don't want to listen then it's on them lol.
YANBU in the slightest!

[northernstar0412]

Oscar Wilde: "I am not young enough to know everything."

[WhatifIfeellikeacat]

Give you're DS to read this article. It's about food poisoning. www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/doctor-explains-student-died-hours-13937290

[WhatifIfeellikeacat]

It should scare him a bit hopefully.

[BatShite]

You just know he will be one of those with a cast iron stomach who seems to be able to eat even mouldy food and not get ill.

Had I spoke to my mother like that I would have been on the street in seconds tbh.

[LadyFlumpalot]

Get him this and hang it on his door. It's what my mum did when I went through a teenage little shit stage.

Thinking about it, that didn't stop me. What stopped me was her kicking me out. I lasted a year renting a room, paying my own bills, doing actual adult stuff before I was begging to come back because I'd run out of money and hated it.

I was much better after that!

[pussycatinboots]

@DdraigGoch

I'd slip him a laxative just to make sure.

Pure genius evil

[essexmum777]

why are you cooking for him and plating him up leftovers?

[ECBC]

Sure you want him to save by living at home with no rent, but he can cook his own meals? His lack of respect for you needs addressing. Just letting him potentially get food poisoning is not going to substitute a proper conversation about his shitty behaviour.

[LemonadeAndDaisyChains]

You just know he will be one of those with a cast iron stomach who seems to be able to eat even mouldy food and not get ill

Oh God yeah, can see my late teen mouthing off and me saying why it's not a good idea.
Only for it all to turn out fine and me just "being my usual moaning doom mongering self!"!
Sods law innit

[BlueLagoona]

It's a normal phase of life in boys are that age. If their mothers don't throttle them to death, the reward is that they turn into human beings

Bollocks is it.

IME there’s a pattern - the 20 year olds that speak to their mother like shit are usually the ones that were allowed to get away with it at 10 or 12.

Maybe I’ll eat my words because my eldest son is only 12. But if he ever spoke to me like this he’d have my boot up his arse before he could blink.

[SquirtleSquad]

He's not a boy, he's a man and he's a rude arrogant one at that.

[Wolfiefan]

So you stop cooking for him.
And you tell him if he can’t get his head out of his arse and treat you with some modicum of respect then he needs to find somewhere else to live.
But no. I wouldn’t be wishing food poisoning on anyone.

[BrutusMcDogface]

Dear god, I hope my son has more respect for me when he’s that age!

[TheVamoosh]

I wonder what you are teaching him about respecting women. I pity any girlfriend he moves in with anytime soon...