To think the majority of you are fatphobic?

[Beebee8]

Just that.

@CorianderLord agreed. Recovered anorexic here, also used to watch SS vs SS.

FWIW, I think that weight (thinness or fatness) is something we as a society are rubbish at discussing in a meaningful way. But people are still more likely to comment on me being slim than someone else being fat- I think that being fat is often seen as shameful/ embarrassing, and being slim is celebrated. I’m not remarkably slim now, bang in the middle of a healthy BMI for my height.

I think that honest conversations need to be had. Yes, you can look amazing, feel great- but being overweight is still more likely to be bad for you than being slim. Being overweight is not healthy. However, weight is such a complex area and a holistic approach is needed- it’s not as simple as calories in being reduced/ moving more. Often, very overweight people (some of my relatives included) get themselves in a position where they have limited mobility, can’t exercise, and then pile weight on. Eating is an emotional thing, too.

In our area, I have noticed an increase in the number of children who are overweight (not in a creepy way, it’s just not unusual to see several overweight kids in a day now- when I was a child it was vanishingly rare). This does concern me because of the long term risks associated, and how hard it is to change habits formed in childhood. I want DS to lead a long, happy and healthy life, so I am currently navigating the minefield of trying to not be too obsessive either way about what he eats, and also making sure that DH and I role model good behaviour about food and activity levels...

Rosiesma - I am certainly not made miserable by the 'sacrifices' I make, although I don't see not over eating as a sacrifice, and I love healthy food and exercise cos it makes me feel good and the rewards are great, its not a sacrifice in the least

Pointing out that being very overweight is unhealthy is not being fat phobic. I lost nearly 5 stone in weight a few years ago - went from being obese to slightly overweight. I felt AMAZING. I could walk up stairs and hills without getting out of breath. My clothes didn't feel tight. My back and knees stopped hurting. I felt absolutely fantastic. I also looked much better than I had done previously. Clothes fitted better. But the important thing was how much my health improved.

Sadly, I've put the weight back on and now I'm post menopausal it's proving much harder to shift. But, I'm trying, because I recognise that very shortly my weight will probably start killing me through diabetes, heart damage, joint damage.

Being very overweight is bad for your health - there is no sensible argument. Yes, I know, some slim people are unhealthy, but that's not an argument for being obese.

I have never seem any abuse aimed at someone who is overweight on this site.

There haven't been many sensible conversations on the subject, but no abuse that you mention OP.

I have never seem any abuse aimed at someone who is overweight on this site.

Really? I have. Just because you haven’t seen it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

I think that society in general is judgemental about fat people.

I have seen judgy comments about fat people on Mumsnet, but I don’t think it’s any worse than it is anywhere else.

Maybe we should increase funding for MH support; that would help people who overeat for stress/self esteem/trauma reasons. Also a focus on proper food and cooking would be good imo. I agree with a pp who said we have a really messed up food culture in this country (I think we have a messed up drinking culture too for the record). I also think we need to get away from the idea that eating healthily is 'deprivation'. It really doesn't need to be.

I am with @namesnames.
Judgy posts? Yeah.
Abuse? No.

I have however seen things like "go eat a leaf" towards slimmer people....

I agree we should treat everyone with respect OP, I guess I'm just not on board with the HAES, nothing wrong with being obese train of thought that seems to be popular now. I do admit to judging slightly when I see people giving kids in buggies cola and sweets etc. (have seen this many a time). I just think they're setting their kids up for addiction to crap foods from an early age. I also agree diet culture is BS.

Op I think it would help if you came back and gave us more details so we can understand where you're coming from?

Why are you so passionate about this Movement? Have you had weight issues or experienced abuse yourself or someone you're close to? Have you been victimised? You have very strong views on this ,I just wonder what has shaped those views?

Can you acknowledge that some valid counter arguments have been made on this thread?

I attended Overeaters Anonymous for a few years and it REALLY helped me to deal with the mental pain I was experiencing and self soothing with bingeing and starving so I’m not judging people for being fat but I do think that people who are fat and claiming that they’re balanced, happy and in control are being disingenuous.

Leave them alone they have enough on their plate

My theory is that people who are the most vocal about it are the ones who are made miserable by the 'sacrifices' they make to stay a healthy weight, and they resent those who don't make those sacrifices. And then hide behind phrases like "burdens on the NHS" to justify it.

Sacrifices? Looking after your body is a sacrifice?

No wonder people are fat if looking after your one and only body is considered a sacrifice.

Sacrificing what exactly? A first born? The blood of a baby goat?

My bacon, sausage, fried bread, hash brown and egg breakfast was lovely. A calorie bomb. But not a regular occurrence at all. I'm still a healthy weight and not miserable.

Christ on a bike. Sacrifice my arse.

@Paulolina

Leave them alone they have enough on their plate

giggle

Callard there was a YouTuber or Instagrammer type person a while ago that got very popular with her big/beautiful posts and photos. She was happy and proud to be big and so on.

She later lost quite a lot of weight and received horrible backlash from her fans. I suppose they felt betrayed that she had slimmed down. It was quite sad.

I agree about treating the root cause of emotional overeating. It can be a form of self medication, like a lot of other vices.

Such sacrifice... I don't know how I manage..

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace

Just look at TV in the last 20 years: Supersize vs Superskinny Fat Families Secret Eaters Biggest Loser My 600 LB Life

Do those programmes teach 'fear and dislike'? I've watched them and I consider that I neither fear nor dislike larger people. The people portrayed want, and need, to lose weight. I find their experiences interesting. I don't hate anyone

Good God, of course they do. They're literally about making a spectacle of obese people (and underweight ones too, in the first instance). You don't have to tar and feather someone to present them as a freak show. Put it this way, if you were approached to be on one of those shows, how would you feel?

I think the focus should be on eating proper food for health and away from weight/aesthetics. Cooking, vegetables, spending time outside (where possible) etc. Also how food can make you feel good-I mean in the sense that it affects your energy levels and skin, mood, so many things beside weight. And this is individual to a certain extent; for example too much dairy does not have a good effect on me (digestion etc.) but for others it might be other things that disagree with them.

@Beebee8

I shouldn't have made this thread in the head space that I did because what I really want is to change people's minds but I don't have the ability or patience to do that on an Internet forum. I'm just so tired of seeing posters so breezily shaming people for their size, I find it abhorrent.

It's OK for me to bring this up in real life because I'm in a socially acceptable body, it's safe for me. Because I can go in to any shop and find clothes that fit me. I can go to the doctor with an issue completely unrelated to my size and not be told to come back when I've lost weight. I can walk down the street without having insults hurled at me from strangers. It's safe for me to speak up on this and I will continue to do so outside the realms of mumsnet.

There is a whole movement going on to bring down fatphobia and diet culture and I do think change is on the horizon, just hope these harmful systems and beliefs die out soon before even more damage is done!

Bit of virtue signalling there OP. I would have found you more credible if you had not felt the need to reference your own ‘ acceptable ‘ size. Petard & hoist come to mind.

As well of addressing the causes of overeating and food addiction where needed.

If you're not someone who overeats, then there is no 'sacrifice' involved.

Plenty of people go about their day/week eating and drinking whatever they fancy.

The difference is, they don't eat too much of it.

When you look at the competitive over eaters on MN, who post about sitting in the supermarket car park and eating a whole tray of 6 donuts, or those who 'can easily' eat 12 slices of pizza and still have room for a side etc

I suppose for them not overeating is a sacrifice. It's annoying though when it's assumed that anyone who isn't fat, is miserably 'sacrificing' everything on a daily basis.

Obesity isn't normal and shouldn't be glorified. It is dangerous and puts a huge strain on the NHS.

Calling out the damage that obesity does is not equal to 'shaming'. It's highlighting factual health issues.

There needs to be a change in food culture in this country. Eating 'healthily' shouldn't be seen as being deprived of 'nice' food, that is ridiculous.

I'm all for being body positive, I like seeing normal bodies in magazines and adverts, however I hate that curvy bodies now seems to equal obese bodies. I don't agree with obesity acceptance, sorry, it is just as dangerous as seeing an underweight model in an advert.

Fat phobic? Like being scared and having a physical reaction to fat people?

I'm obese. No one has recoiled, screamed and run or thrown up on sight of me yet.

I am doing it wrong?

The only sacrifice being made is your health and ability to do things when you are severely over- or underweight.

Stop glorifying either of those.

On an individual level, some fear of getting fat is helpful, and quite normal. It's rare for someone to actively choose to be very fat because they want to be.

That said, I think some people are happy (or aren't overly bothered)to be a bit overweight because they love to eat a lot., eat outing out is their pleasure or whatever and for now it isn't impacting their health hugely.

That's a personal choice and they maybe completely happy and not want pity from anyone.