To think the majority of you are fatphobic?

[Beebee8]

Just that.

@SmileyClare

Shrodinger I'm inclined to agree. It's such a complex issue. The Against Fat phobia Movement that OP is trying to champion will never be widely accepted. It's too simplistic and absolves all personal responsibility.

It boils down to wanting everyone to be respected and free from abuse because of how they look. Which is right. The rest of it is questionable.

Is an obese person a victim of prejudice because they weren't offered a job as a childcare worker due to the limitations of their size? No I don't think so. Is an obese person being treated unfairly because they are refused an operation? Is a doctor fat shaming to tell a patient to lose weight? No. Is a fat person a victim of phobia because they don't enjoy clothes shopping? I don't agree with a lot of Op's argument.

Absolutely.

You cannot avoid being around food in the way that you can with cigarettes/alcohol. That makes avoiding temptation much more difficult when it’s always in your face.

I can't think of a single corner shop or supermarket around here that doesn't sell cigarettes and alcohol.

And just because cigarettes are now locked in a cabinet, doesn't mean people don't know they're there.

If I was an alcoholic or a nicotine addict, I couldn't buy a pint of milk without seeing alcohol on the shelves or the cigarettes/tobacco cabinets.

Being very overweight is unhealthy
It affects the individual but also puts huge burden on the nhs by diabetes, blood pressure, strokes etc
The vast majority of very overweight people are because they consume much more than they need
Does thin = good health automatically? No but there is zero benefit to being very overweight

I'm not scared of fat people, no.

However, I can't say I'm on-board with the whole "fat acceptance" thing. They give out a message that it's healthy and fine to be fat. Umm... No, it's not healthy.
You see very fat people struggling to walk, getting out of breath, struggling to conceive children, on multiple medications for blood pressure and diabetes. No. It's unhealthy.

All that being said, I'm not going to tell people to lose weight, or judge the choice they've made (I do believe it's a choice to be very overweight). It's not my body, and not me who has to live with the consequences of poor decision-making.

What I don't like is that it is made easier to be fat and not tackle the issue. Gyms have not re-opened yet fast food places have, for example.

I’m fat. I know why I’m fat, I know what I need to do to not be fat. The reason I don’t judge other fat people is that it’s so much more complex than eating less calories. Some people, like me, are just not wired to live healthy (different ways to react to stress for example) and it’s a real uphill struggle. A simple analogy - I’m clever. I can pick up complex scientific principles easily. Maths, no problem. DIY, flat pack, plumbing, easy. Finance, understanding pensions, stuff that can make life better and easier if you know how. It’s simple, you read something, understand it and then do it. Surely everyone can do the same, oh wait, no they can’t. Because we are not all wired the same.

Due to this I think people would be very wary of making comments that someone is too thin but will happily slate someone for being fat and this to me suggests there’s still a lot of prejudice out there.

Sorry but that is bullshit. When I was overweight, I could barely even get a friend to agree with me when I said I was getting increasingly overweight and needed to make a change or I would soon be obese. When I lost weight and had a BMI of 23, I had plenty of people remark that I was miserably thin, in danger of being anorexic, looked unhealthy now and needed to be careful. All seriously ridiculous comments given that I have a natural hourglass figure so even at my slimmest still have large breasts, hips and bum. But I have never, ever had more negative commentary on my weight than when I have been a healthy weight. I'm now very athletic and muscular, so have had a couple of stupid comments about being careful I don't end up looking like a man. Again, made all the more fucking stupid because of the big breasts/hips/bum combo on my "manly" body.

Surely everyone can do the same, oh wait, no they can’t. Because we are not all wired the same.

Being 'wired' differently doesn't mean that wiring cannot be undone.

So yes you can. It won't be easy though and that's what puts people off. How many times do we hear "But it's not as easy as eat less and move more".

No-one's saying it's easy but convincing yourself or other people that it can't be done, isn't helpful.

Over eater anonymous is not advised enough by professionals like NA and AA they deal with the emotional issues, they help explore triggers you need to avoid, offer a sponsor buddy for when you are struggling.

Re the "alcoholics can just avoid alcohol".

Even alcoholics have to pass the alcohol isles and it being on display.

From what i gather, emotional eaters and "food addicts" have specific foods they have issue with. It's not ALL the food. So people can, equally as the alcoholics, pass the aisle with the problematic food.

If anyone thinks that positioning overeating as addiction will abstain them from personal responsibility on all levels, they are mistaken. Personal responsibility is actually needed for the recovery.

It is perhaps odd that a food addiction is viewed as far more "embarrassing" for want of a better word than other addictions. For example a rock star with a drug or alcohol habit might be considered edgy or a tortured soul. It would be almost cool to be swigging from a bottle on stage or having a fag hanging out of their mouth.

If they had a massive problem with their take away consumption or were chomping kitkats on stage it would be a different story.

Nobody would ever think telling an anorexic to just eat more
I was an anorexic teen that is exactly what they told me. They also threaten you with a section and force feeding if you disagree with the food diary.

I've fought a weight problem for decades. Going up and down again from slim & fit (working out for hours) to borderline obese (Oh no! not stairs!). Maybe on the wrong side of borderline right now.

On the one hand I'm aware that it's not always quite as simple as eating too much, but on the other I don't want people saying it's great to be fat as it really isn't. Being obese is a crippling condition which leaves people unable to perform simple tasks and is likely to cut short their life.

I get pissed off when I see people in the media celebrating obesity. Be sympathetic by all means, but let's not pretend that it's a good thing as it really isn't. If you are obese it's something you should be working on fixing right now. If you know someone who is obese help them don't mock them (especially if it's me) but don't tell them they look fine like that.

I don't really care if people are fat, unless it's a loved one in which case I'm entitled to be concerned about their health/happiness.

I hate seeing fat being lauded in the media. It's disingenuous at best and dangerous not to acknowledge the health risks being fat carries.

@oakwood13

What I don't like is that it is made easier to be fat and not tackle the issue. Gyms have not re-opened yet fast food places have, for example.

It''s just as well that no one is forced to eat fast food then, and we don't need to go the gym to lose weight. In England people have allowed to leave the house to walk, run or cycle throughout lockdown, and many people have been doing that. Some outdoor exercise and some kind of resistance training, which can be done indoors is pretty much all you need to help you lose weight in a healthy way. No one really needs to do any form of extreme exercise or eat any 'special' kind of food to lose weight, you can even include Mcdonalds or dominos pizza if you want.

Some of my fiends are overweight. This has zero relevance to our relationship.

But I did not date people overweight and if my now DH got very overweight (not talking a Stone here or there) then there would be a discussion.
If he became obese with no sight of fixing that then I doubt our marriage would survive.

'Nobody would ever think telling an anorexic to just eat more would work but apparently it’s easy for overeaters (I don’t mean just people who have fallen into bad habits, I mean those with serious problems) to just magically change their eating habits. Shopping online is a nightmare at the moment.'

A tiny percentage will have food issues associated with mental health but too many like to blame disorders, their bones, anything but their own willpower.

Shopping online is fine now. At the height of lockdown if was difficult to get slots but not any more. It's one excuse after another.

If only people were honest and admitted that no, they aren't 'addicted' they just eat far too much and really don't like any criticism at all. That is apparently 'shaming' or even worse 'fatphobia'.

@Soubriquet

You’re harder to kidnap if you’re fat?

I nearly choked on my tea. Had to leave the room I was laughing so hard. Thanks Soubriquet you've cheered one person up today!

When I lost weight and had a BMI of 23, I had plenty of people remark that I was miserably thin, in danger of being anorexic, looked unhealthy now and needed to be careful. All seriously ridiculous comments given that I have a natural hourglass figure so even at my slimmest still have large breasts, hips and bum. But I have never, ever had more negative commentary on my weight than when I have been a healthy weight.

Jealousy. At one point I dropped from 13st4lbs to around 11st10lbs. Which roughly meant going from a BMI of 26.6 (higher than I remember!) to 23.4 (I'm tall). I exercised a lot so my body got in better shape, but despite the BMI still being on the higher end of the healthy range I was getting "too thin" (bollocks) and needed to "stop losing weight" (fuck off). People have lost all sight of what is healthy. Just because so many people are fat and body positivity is encouraged doesn't magically make being fat less unhealthy.

I ignored them or educated them. You know, rebalancing the fat v muscle ratio. They also always seemed to think that I was starving myself, when in reality I was eating 1800-2200 cals a day. And that diet featured chocolate and crisps, but just in moderation.

A bad year means I am back to topping 12st, but that will come off again. At least I didn't shoot back up to the 13st mark.

I still carry too much fat around my belly. I've been skinny fat (yes, it's a thing, yes, it's unhealthy as it indicates a high level of visceral fat).

Losing weight takes effort but it seems as a nation we have become too lazy to put in the effort to preserve the only body we'll ever have.

Blame parents for feeding their kids shit. Blame schools for feeding the kids shit lunches, yet confiscating chocolate or crisps from lunch boxes. Blame people for refusing to educate themselves, not reading labels or not bothering to learn to cook. Blame schools for wasting Home Economics on cooking shite, instead of teaching about healthy nutrition. Teach them what being fat does to the body.

So many opportunities, but instead of educating people we simply ban things or tax them. Ban certain items from lunch boxes, tax sugary drinks.

Obesity is a big problem no pun intended and we need to talk about it without being accused of fat shaming or being fatphobic.

@oakwood13

What I don't like is that it is made easier to be fat and not tackle the issue. Gyms have not re-opened yet fast food places have, for example.

My former personal trainer used to say "a six pack is made in the kitchen not the gym".

Not saying that folk want a six pack. but the point stands - you have to do a hell of a lot of exercise to outrun your fork.

The kitchen, the fridge, the couch, the takeaway apps - these are the areas where difference is made

I dont think people are fat phobic in general. On this forum, however, people regularly state that there are pretty much no positives to being overweight from a health point of view, and that the reason many (not all) people are fat is because they consume too many calories. I agree with this, maybe that makes me fat phobic 🤷‍♂️

I don't necessarily judge individuals as, frankly, I'm no Scarlett Johansson myself. Also I accept that there are a whole host of reasons why people may be fat - some physical, some psychological and some just due to having a busy lifestyle that makes it challenging to take care of yourself. I know eating is a very triggering issue for many people so I'm mindful not to offer my unsolicited opinion to friends. And I do firmly believe people are much much more than their physical appearance.

However, I will say this. I do have concerns about certain branches of the body positivity movement sending out the message that it's Ok to be massively obese. I don't want my child to see anorexic looking supermodels and think that's Ok, but neither do I want a culture that says "celebrate your plus size, bigger is brilliant, you can be fat and fit" etc. It's a con. Everyone knows that morbid obesity is a massive health risk and it's not something I want to promote to my kid as an acceptable lifestyle.

Well @Beebee8 , the verdict seems pretty clear:

YABU to think the majority of us are fatphobic. We are not.

And you wanna glorify /normalise it!? it isn't normal op, it sure isn't healthy and it is damn right dangerous.

This is facts. Not fatphobia.

I think there’s an element of gaslighting happening to us from the Bo-Po movement at the moment that wholeheartedly insists that larger bodies are just as healthy, if not healthier than slimmer ones.
It’s crazy really and very non-scientific.
There was a documentary on (maybe channel 5?) last year where loads of overweight people went to live in a house together to explore their weight issues.
There was one woman there who was the figure head for a bo-po organisation and she was such a bully and very much reminded me of a cult leader who just insisted again and again that if they weren’t fat and happy about it, that they were had people.