To not invite people to lunch if you are not allowing people to use the toilet?

[RockingMyFiftiesNot]

A friend has invited 4 of us over for a garden lunch next week. We're each to take a bottle of Prosecco and a contribution to the lunch. That is absolutely fine, and I'd have taken drink and food contribution even if not asked. Not an issue. She has however said that she is not allowing people in her home at all, even to use a separate downstairs loo. Now that is of course her right, but then why invite people over to lunch? I need the toilet every hour/ hour and a half or so. This means I will have to drive to her lunch (Id usually walk but it will take me an hour there and back with nopublic toilets on the route) and not drink any of the Prosecco I take, and I won't be able to stay very long. I did say we could all take our own packs of wipes and clean the seat/flush/door handles after ourselves but she isn't comfortable with that. I've offered to host at my house but she wants it at hers (I'm guessing so she can use the toilet and not have to drive) and drink Prosecco....)
Not discussed with others going as don't want to seem like a bitch. I honestly get and respect her reason for not wanting people to use her loo but not sure why you would then invite people to lunch? AIBU?

I meant that IS insane.

@frambly

i dont let anyone into my home, i dont invite them either i must add, but when friends do come to sit on the drive to chat we have a camping loo for emergencies! hidden behind the bins and a screen so that you cant be seen. i just wondered if that might be a good investment for your group if this was going to be a regular get together? we got ours before lockdown and it lived in the back of the car for visits to the forest. its a festival loo that has a tank for fresh water and one for waste. we put blue toilet fluid in it to keep it fresh. its easy to empty. hope that helps

Do you also get people to empty the loo if they use it?

@frambly

i dont let anyone into my home, i dont invite them either i must add, but when friends do come to sit on the drive to chat we have a camping loo for emergencies! hidden behind the bins and a screen so that you cant be seen. i just wondered if that might be a good investment for your group if this was going to be a regular get together? we got ours before lockdown and it lived in the back of the car for visits to the forest. its a festival loo that has a tank for fresh water and one for waste. we put blue toilet fluid in it to keep it fresh. its easy to empty. hope that helps

WTF?

@frambly

i dont let anyone into my home, i dont invite them either i must add, but when friends do come to sit on the drive to chat we have a camping loo for emergencies! hidden behind the bins and a screen so that you cant be seen. i just wondered if that might be a good investment for your group if this was going to be a regular get together? we got ours before lockdown and it lived in the back of the car for visits to the forest. its a festival loo that has a tank for fresh water and one for waste. we put blue toilet fluid in it to keep it fresh. its easy to empty. hope that helps

WTF?

I would rather wipe round a toilet someone had used and flushed than empty a chemical toilet.

But she'll go to the pub & share with the masses. ??
Individual hand towels,.spray, bathroom wipes sanitizer.
Bonkers

I have a small campervan as my everyday vehicle, so I always have my own toilet with me. Actually because of a medical problem, but it's been great during Covid with public toilets closed.

Your friend is a loon.

She needs to not have people over until she gets over her paranoia.

We don’t have people in the house, it keeps us safe, at least she told you in advance. I just wouldn’t drink and would enjoy seeing my friends

You've said she is a lovely person so maybe she is just panicking too much. You must like her a lot to want to walk for an hour their and back to see her. I wouldn't do that for just anyone. I know your driving now but you've walked their before. Maybe because things have been over text thing have been lost in translation. Maybe once you get there and someone needs the loo she will let them. You'll just have to wait and see. Only Tomorrow and you will know.

Well the rain showers expected earlier this morning are heavier than showers and still going. It's grey, breezy and currently not sitting outside weather. Final decision to be taken at 11:30 but I'm not optimistic.

I wouldn't be optimistic either. If it lashes down will she just go stand in her doorway while you all get wet?

I've got visions of a long trestle table set up through a French window with the host nice and dry inside, nipping off to the loo when she needs, and the guests at the other end of the table, outside in the pouring rain with their legs crossed!

@frambly

i dont let anyone into my home, i dont invite them either i must add, but when friends do come to sit on the drive to chat we have a camping loo for emergencies! hidden behind the bins and a screen so that you cant be seen. i just wondered if that might be a good investment for your group if this was going to be a regular get together? we got ours before lockdown and it lived in the back of the car for visits to the forest. its a festival loo that has a tank for fresh water and one for waste. we put blue toilet fluid in it to keep it fresh. its easy to empty. hope that helps

Whaaaaaat!?

You make friends pee in your driveway behind a screen! This is absolutely insane.

We called it off, still raining on and off here and not very warm. Imade brownies rhis morning as my contribution, so have drove round to dropthem off to the various guests to enjoy in the comfort of their own homes. One of The group admitted in the chat that she was becoming increasingly anxious about the toilet situation. We have agreed that when we reschedule it will be where there are toilet facilities. I don't think the host had realised how much of an issue it would be. Never thought I'd be so grateful to see rain. Also never expected this post to generate so much discussion but really appreciate everyone's input. I thought maybe I was the one being unreasonable but you helped me be more assertive about the reschedule. Thanks all x

Go if u want to. Have a have a good clear out before arrival of course. Explain that you have just had a very good wee. (That should embarrass her), then drink like a fish.
Then if nature calls, I would just pee all over her flower beds. Every time she weeds she will always have a memory of it. Praise her for being the first person to have a watersports event in the area.
What a prissy cow.

Don't go. I don't get the logic. If you're that paranoid about people using the toilet, why have them over? Especially if you'll be drinking. People are going to need the toilet!

The event was cancelled, people!

My coffee and cake in the garden, however, went ahead although we had umbrellas up a couple of times. The loo had had an extra clean and a new hand towel beforehand but nobody needed it.

My mum is vulnerable so when I invited them to the garden I disinfected one bathroom and said it was for her sole use, if you have more than one bathroom what’s the issue.

@frambly

i dont let anyone into my home, i dont invite them either i must add, but when friends do come to sit on the drive to chat we have a camping loo for emergencies! hidden behind the bins and a screen so that you cant be seen. i just wondered if that might be a good investment for your group if this was going to be a regular get together? we got ours before lockdown and it lived in the back of the car for visits to the forest. its a festival loo that has a tank for fresh water and one for waste. we put blue toilet fluid in it to keep it fresh. its easy to empty. hope that helps

How do people react when Sheila starts trumping from behind the bins though?

@draughtycatflap 😂😂😂

She probably didn't realise what an issue it would be because it's not her it affected.

@LittleDonk

She probably didn't realise what an issue it would be because it's not her it affected.

Agreed. Very thoughtless behaviour indeed.

Yanbu! If you aren't allowed to use her loo (with appropriate cleaning/sanitising protocols in place) then I wouldn't go (I couldn't as I have the bladder of a mouse!). I daresay you probably aren't the only invitee to be put off by the lack of access to the loo so, why not organise something at your place for the following week? You could tell guests to each bring a bottle and a loo roll!!