AIB a spoilt brat, or are my parents crazy? Or both?

[Oakmaiden]

I haven't seen my parents since February. I do miss them, but if I am completely honest it is not unusual for me not to see them between Feb half term and the summer holidays, as we are often busy during Easter and May half term, and they live about 4 hours drive away. Now that I am allowed to drive more than 5 miles (I live in Wales) they are very keen for me to travel down and stay with them for a few days.

But.

My dad has a lung disease, and is still shielding. So if I go down to stay I will not be allowed in the house at all. I will sleep in a tent in the garden, use an outside bucket and tap to wash and will use a porta potty in the shed for the "necessaries". All food and socialising will be done outside.

I could live with the tent, and if it is only a couple of days I could live with the tap and bucket, but the portapotty is the thing of nightmares. I am, and always have been, really funny about toilets. And I have a complete phobia about spiders and long legged insects (I am better than I was, but it is still there). That said, I do go camping and the facilities there are sometimes not the nicest (understatement). I get around this by using supermarket toilets/pub toilets during the day and evening, and only using the campsite toilet in an absolute emergency. And it makes me feel very uncomfortable, but I do do it.

I have said I am going to wait until I can go in the house and use their loo before I come down. And they are disappointed. And I feel like a right prima donna. But I also know that the whole toilet thing will genuinely make me really uncomfortable and possibly give me actual nightmares. (Yes, I do have nightmares about having to use unpleasant toilets. Go figure.)

Am I being a right brat?

I dont see the point of this "solution". If you stay in the house with your Mum and you had Covid you could give it to her and then she could give it to your Dad. It's less safe than you stating in a rent and only going to the bathroom I'd have thought.

"staying in a tent" grrr

Glad its resolved, your dad sounds fantastic

Wow I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all!! Good luck finding a solution!

Your parents are batshit.

I don't think your dad's "solution" is really in keeping with the shielding.

Would seem much more sensible to either hotel, or if you can handle the driving make it a day trip.

I think your parents are asking a little too much tbh (you're definitely not being spoilt). I've made plans to camp in my sister's garden but she has a downstairs toilet (and its for one night only). She won't have me inside as her work means she's not been able to socially distance, so is more worried about passing it on. She has an outside toilet though. There's no way she'd have asked me knowing there wasn't a toilet and sink to use. I get the toilet fear too!

I'm outdoorsy but hate creepy crawlies, bat's, spiders & daddy longlegs especially AND shitting in shed... Noooooo way. I'll wait thanks 😂
I have an 11yr dd with a sever heart condition so I get their strict adherence to the rules. Shielding ends for us 4th August and we will have to venture out. There's just myself and her at home and she's got learning difficulties so I won't be leaving her alone at home. Am I scared? yes a lot but we will just have to be cautious. We have a bubble with my 21yr old daughter.
Find a hotel OP.

I want to know what the plan is if the weather's really bad. With this new plan, you'll be able to see your mum, but your dad will be stuck in a tent.

Why don't you ask your dad to ring his GP for advice? He might have got the letter in error, and all of this is unnecessary.

I have an allotment - bucket in the shed is the only toilet! Wouldn't bother me but then I don't mind camping and would prefer camping loo in a shed to some proper loos I've visited!

No YANBU

I think the 'solution' here is absolutely bonkers, and the fact you can't see this makes me think that you come from a very, very strange family! The fact that you all think anyone pissing in a bucket is a great way to save £50 is bizarre, the fact that you think an elderly man who is apparently medically vulnerable doing it is the ideal compromise is even more so. It makes absolutely no logical sense - if he's shielding it's just as vital that your mum doesn't catch it, since she lives with him, so whether or not he is in the house when you are is quite irrelevant. And is he really going to spend 24 hours in the garden and just go and sit in the tent if it rains? I suspect that nothing will persuade you out of it because collective madness in families tends to be quite fiercely guarded so you obviously all think this extreme tightness is normal, but this is very not normal!