WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!

[Confrontayshunme]

My neighbour (terraced houses) who I am really close to since lockdown and having her baby in February makes a strange ululating sound to calm her very colicky, refluxy baby, and I can hear it through the thinnish walls. It is similar to when I used to hoover to calm my colicky newborn. She makes a high pitched "lololololololo" sound whenever he cries to sort of drown him out and calm him. It clearly works as he stops crying.

Only now he is 5 months old, and still waking and crying frequently, only the crying is getting louder and so is the noise she makes. Add to this the fact that it is hot and her baby's room is next to our bedroom with both sets of windows open for coolness.

Now I am all for people calming a crying baby, as that is a terrible sound on its own, but it is getting to the point that we can barely watch tv in the evenings or go to sleep and are frequently woken at all hours by this high pitched screeching.

And to be abundantly clear, she is white and English, as are her partner, parents and grandparents. The sound she makes is exactly like I have heard at an Indian friend's wedding party, but it is clearly not cultural, just a fluke that calms her baby.

AIBU to ask her to figure out a quieter way to calm her baby, at least between 10 and 6 or 7?

I found a youtube video which is exactly the sound for a better idea of the sound.

[Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair]

Omg I've just played clip and my dog is going mental!
Record her then play it back when everything is quiet 🤣

[Celestine70]

I feel sorry for the baby. Why can't she sing rock a bye baby?

[Ifeelsuchafool]

I'd rather listen to the baby crying. You poor thing!

[BengalGal]

Give her the book The Happiest Baby on the Block. It has lots of tricks. And tell her how much she is disturbing you. You deserve peace!

[madcatladyforever]

Bloody hell, is nobody sodding normal any more.

[echodot]

@WhitbyGoth

She can calm her baby any way she likes OP, Yabu, or would you rather she left the baby to scream and cry all night? Goodness me

Yes. I would rather hear a baby cry than this. YABU @WhitbyGoth

[Rach000]

I cant even listen to the sound and really want to now as I am putting the kids to bed and waiting for them to go to sleep.
Sounds awful. Think you need to say something or suggest a sound app for babies.

[DeeCeeCherry]

EPIC title, post & YouTube clip😁. The best thing to do is learn via clip & ululate right back OP.

Not really, go round and ask her to stop as it's a disturbance. Just find a way to say it nicely but firmly.

We ululate too (not daily & at home obvs) as a cultural thing so no it's not a horrendous or terrible noise just because it's different, as some seem to think. There's a time and place though so, speak to your neighbour asap.

[cushioncovers]

What an awful noise. It's a passive aggressive way of shutting her baby up. I feel sorry for the child.

[IHateCoronavirus]

@MandosHatHair

I wonder if she is any relation to the poster who screamed in the Sistine chapel

YANBU OP, I wouldn't like it either, I would make sure she knows that the crying in itself isn't a problem.

I can’t breathe

[MistyGreenAndBlue]

Do you live next door to Xena Warrior Princess?

Although tbf her war cry was more melodic than that.

[amispeakingenglish]

This is the best thread title I’ve seen in a long time. I have no sensible advice to impart. Could you ululate back at her perhaps? Play the saxophone badly?

Yes this above and the bagpipes someone has suggested. To be really evil wait till her baby is asleep!!
I once got an angle grinder and put it on the bricks in the brick chimney between my house and the neighbours after they had yet another noisy party type night. Waited till all quiet in the fairly early morning. She might appreciate how you feel if you give her some of the same.

[amispeakingenglish]

And cultural or not, its a HORRIBLE noise. Grates on the senses

[Den1se]

I have begun to practise ululating and am becoming quite proficient.Where can I take my beginners test? Wish i had started at beginning of lockdown.

[noosmummy12]

Fuck. I voted uabu until I heard it. Didn’t know there was a word for it, so there’s something. Shitting hell, just move.

[Beautiful3]

@TodayMistyGreenAndBlue
"Do you live next door to Xena Warrior Princess?"

That made me laugh so much! 😂

[mylifestory]

Dont babies cry at night cos they want milk then they conk out again? It's rare to be screaming or crying at the same time every night. Clearly she isnt stopping this from happening repeatedly. Make it very clear she is waking you with baby too, whatever you say!

[CantGetDecentNickname]

Hi OP, agree that she must be struggling and asking her if you can help is a good idea. You can then gently point out that what worked when her baby was little isn’t working any more as he is rapidly growing and his needs are changing. You can make sensible suggestions such as the CBeebies app suggested earlier and joining mothers groups (probably virtual at the moment) to chat to others. Also, at 5 months he is likely to be having a growth spurt and wanting more feeds or if using bottles switching to richer milk or if getting near 6 months may be gearing up for weaning. Another possibility is reflux which is not necessarily resulting in baby sicking it up, so maybe worth her consulting a professional. Gently let her know that you can hear her noise and you would like her to stop. A reasonable request usually gets a reasonable response. Good luck.

[AmelieTaylor]

I don't care if her DH left her with 6 kids and a zoo and his mother. She would have made the dreadful fucking noise ONCE.

She's not soothing her baby, she's terrifying the poor little thing into silence.

Tell her it stops now or you'll take it further. For the baby's sake as well as your own.

I'd offer to have the baby for a while each day or when she wants a break. She could bubble with us if she wanted,I'd do her shopping, whatever she needs, but if that noise happens again she'd be getting a spade over her head!!

It's not even bloody human.

[Quirrelsotherface]

Goodness me that clip made me laugh. If I had to live next door to it, however, I would be crying. You have to say something, how can she not realise that you can hear it?!

[buildingbridge]

Wow, I have never heard of this. I have been looking on Youtube videos of people Ululating. Really interesting..... but yes that is annoying. Though I would never tell my neighbour this!

[Makinglemonadefromlemons]

I initially thought this was funny - but not for you, but having read on I’m actually really concerned for mum & baby!
It’s the sort of response you see a child doing when they don’t want to hear something- fingers in ears & making noises so they can’t hear.
I would be really worried about Mums mental health, especially as she has had 2 major life events at the beginning of lockdown, and she’s had no support.
I think it may be worth a call to the health visitor expressing your concerns, my gut reaction as a childcare professional is that this lady needs some help.

[Makinglemonadefromlemons]

I can’t hear you

[PhilCornwall1]

Christ on a bike, if my neighbour did that, I'd be telling them to shut the fuck up very quickly!!

[caribooshriek]

Sounds like a North African wedding!