WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!

[Confrontayshunme]

My neighbour (terraced houses) who I am really close to since lockdown and having her baby in February makes a strange ululating sound to calm her very colicky, refluxy baby, and I can hear it through the thinnish walls. It is similar to when I used to hoover to calm my colicky newborn. She makes a high pitched "lololololololo" sound whenever he cries to sort of drown him out and calm him. It clearly works as he stops crying.

Only now he is 5 months old, and still waking and crying frequently, only the crying is getting louder and so is the noise she makes. Add to this the fact that it is hot and her baby's room is next to our bedroom with both sets of windows open for coolness.

Now I am all for people calming a crying baby, as that is a terrible sound on its own, but it is getting to the point that we can barely watch tv in the evenings or go to sleep and are frequently woken at all hours by this high pitched screeching.

And to be abundantly clear, she is white and English, as are her partner, parents and grandparents. The sound she makes is exactly like I have heard at an Indian friend's wedding party, but it is clearly not cultural, just a fluke that calms her baby.

AIBU to ask her to figure out a quieter way to calm her baby, at least between 10 and 6 or 7?

I found a youtube video which is exactly the sound for a better idea of the sound.

She can calm her baby any way she likes OP, Yabu, or would you rather she left the baby to scream and cry all night? Goodness me

Firstly, if she sounds like the woman in the video, she's likely terrifying the baby to silence. Like when a child is constantly refused something that they genuinely need - they don't stop asking because they no longer need it, they stop because they know there's no point and they are frightened of the adult denying it to them.

Secondly, I don't agree that you have carte blanche to use any method to calm your baby to sleep. If you need to make a bit of noise, that's fair enough (although calming to sleep usually involves quietening down), but what would you say if she claimed that her baby would only go to sleep after an hour of drum 'n' bass at full volume? That would probably work, but not for any sound reasons involving good health and development. So would screaming at it like a sergeant major, in fact; that method is still not recommended. You have to make allowances for babies and their parents, but that doesn't give the parents the right to do whatsoever they like, regardless.

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude It gave me a heck of a shock the first time.
I'll bet it did. Why do they do it?

@WhitbyGoth

She can calm her baby any way she likes OP, Yabu, or would you rather she left the baby to scream and cry all night? Goodness me

Are you the neighbour?

You have to tell her. My God.

The alternative to shouting over her baby and stunning him into silence isn't leaving him to scream all night.

It's figuring out what he needs and giving it to him.

@WhitbyGoth

She can calm her baby any way she likes OP, Yabu, or would you rather she left the baby to scream and cry all night? Goodness me

No, she absolutely can't.

That must not soothe the baby but shock it into quietness. Jesus Christ that’s bloody awful.

Bloody hell, what a noise.
Lying in bed reading on my tablet, opened the video and it shocked me so much my hands shot up and the tablet hit me in the face. No wonder the baby stops crying it must be terrified.

@orangesandapplesandpearsohmy

Yeah, have a word. Someone once did that on a plane I was on in the middle of the night when her baby cried, thankfully the trolly dollys were straight on it and pointed out that the woman was keeping a whole cabin awake and set off at least 3 other kids crying!

Who does that?!

But your dc is a beginning violin player? Get her to start Twinkle Twinkle Little Star every fucking time in response! I think I’d rather have the ululating!

@Thehop

“Hi jean. Just checking how you are? I know you’re on your own and you’re doing a great job but it must be hard. I couldn’t help but notice that crazy noise you make for little John. I wonder if it’s actually just frightening him into silence? It really freaks me out, and must be killing your throat. Is it worth trying white noise or brown noise? Or letting me help a bit? You must be knackered”

@Confrontayshunme this advice is the best along with other similar ones in the same vein. It sounds like she needs help honestly. Approach from that angle and try to figure why she’s been doing it.

Show her how to play cbeebies radio nighttime calming sounds on her bbc sounds app

I feel so so bad for laughing at this.
I would get an air horn and blast it every time she makes that noise, assaulting your ears.

I’m sorry I had to have a giggle, but on a serious note I would tell her to quit it.

That noise probably terrifies her baby to silence...shudder

Omg I'm dying that noise is horrific 😂😂😂

I’d go with a friendly ‘do you ever hear this awful sound from your house? It sound a bit like [give awful example!).’ Then do a bit of a moan about it! This way you aren’t telling off the poor woman but she will be aware that it’s pissing you off!

OMG! You need to do it back to her when they are all asleep OP

I am sorry but I started laughing out loud before I even opened this thread.
There is something about 'ululating' both the word and the deed that is inherently amusing. ..
Sorry I can't offer any advice but thanks you really made me laugh...

#onlyonMN 🤣🙈😱😱😱

Bejeezus sounds like some sort of alarm.

Jesus. The poor baby must be terrified hearing that. My heart nearly stopped with fright when I heard it.......

My cat just bolted from my lap when I played that! Poor baby.
YANBU!

I’d wait till she stops doing it & immediately play the you tube clip full blast - otherwise she won’t hear it over her own noise & just do it every time.

Didn't they have this at Harry and Meghan's wedding. It sounded nice in the open air. Definitely wouldn't fancy hours of it from a neighbour, their insestant tumble drying is bad enough.

I read it as “urinating”...