WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!

[Confrontayshunme]

My neighbour (terraced houses) who I am really close to since lockdown and having her baby in February makes a strange ululating sound to calm her very colicky, refluxy baby, and I can hear it through the thinnish walls. It is similar to when I used to hoover to calm my colicky newborn. She makes a high pitched "lololololololo" sound whenever he cries to sort of drown him out and calm him. It clearly works as he stops crying.

Only now he is 5 months old, and still waking and crying frequently, only the crying is getting louder and so is the noise she makes. Add to this the fact that it is hot and her baby's room is next to our bedroom with both sets of windows open for coolness.

Now I am all for people calming a crying baby, as that is a terrible sound on its own, but it is getting to the point that we can barely watch tv in the evenings or go to sleep and are frequently woken at all hours by this high pitched screeching.

And to be abundantly clear, she is white and English, as are her partner, parents and grandparents. The sound she makes is exactly like I have heard at an Indian friend's wedding party, but it is clearly not cultural, just a fluke that calms her baby.

AIBU to ask her to figure out a quieter way to calm her baby, at least between 10 and 6 or 7?

I found a youtube video which is exactly the sound for a better idea of the sound.

It does seem to work at stopping him crying, but how? No idea. I remember I once sneezed really loud and it shocked my newborn into silence, so maybe it's that?

Oh my goodness! You have my sympathy.

I am from India - West Bengal specifically - where we do ululate at weddings. Not a sound I would choose to sooth my baby!!

That sounds awful. Poor baby!

Get her to try a cymbal clash next! Or an old fashioned squeezy car horn. Or popping a balloon. Or dropping a plate on a hard floor.
It's not a very kind way to stop a baby crying. How about giving it what it needs instead? (Assuming baby is crying for a reason, big assumption, I know.)

I'd tell her that it really disturbs your household every single time and could she find a calmer way to soothe her baby....

Never heard of this before btw. What happened to soothing noises ?

w t f ! ! !
what a bloody racket, the kids probably scared stiff

Yea, she's not soothing that baby, she's scaring it into silence!

When both baby and adult neighbors have calmed down could you make really loud sex noises every single time? Then when she calls by to complain, tell her she is driving you mad .

Well it shocked me into silence.

Jeez OP, how have you been putting up with that? Unless you’re campaigning for sainthood you’re going to have to mention it, hopefully someone can give you advice on how to do it tactfully, as I’d be screaming at the walls.

Or, as pp said, bagpipes. Having lived next door to 5 ‘musical’ children, I can advise that learning the violin is also a subtle torture device.

Buy a recorder. Get a 5 year old to play it, very enthusiastically and record said playing on your phone.
Every time she does it let rip with the recorder through the wall.

I actually dropped my phone when I listened to that clip! My volume was turned right up. Jeeez.

Jesus, I would be tempted to put the TV on at top volume every time she is ululating, and tell her why when she comes to complain.

I can't imagine such a sound would do anything for a colicky baby. It's weird. Does the baby have to sleep in a room right next to yours or visa versa?

It must be horrible to hear anything of next door through the walls. I'm 'joined' on one side and there is little or no sound. In out previous (first) house we could hear everything on both sides and they could hear us. It was dreadful, I was so glad to get away.

If the woman is only going to be doing this temporarily I'd just leave it for now. Maybe try ear plugs.

'our' previous, not 'out'.

I would be very, very concerned that baby learns it literally with her mother's milk and then... you know.

I’m so glad I didn’t open that link in the office, the place would have evacuated!

Crikey, that is dreadful.

I just clicked on that whilst b feeding and it's really upset my 4 month old. He's really crying now

Horrible! I was on holiday in Turkey and a French lady started to do this around the pool ( years ago now and nobody was impressed) Startled me so much , so goodness knows how a baby feels hearing that all the time! Poor you and poor baby!

Fuck knows why it works but more importantly why did she ever think to try it in the first place? Did she try the screech of a menstruating velociraptor first and when that didn't work she upped her game to ululating?

Yes I would nicely explain that the crying is not an issue but the noise shes making is too loud!!!

@Confrontayshunme are your neighbours Bosnian or Chechen Muslims? If not, that’s a pretty interesting fluke. They may have also lived in regions of the world where that’s common or have friends who do it with their children so picked up the habit.

Tell her that you can hear her, it’s a disturbing noise & keeping you awake. Why haven’t you mentioned it to her before now if baby is 5 months.