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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!

203 replies

Confrontayshunme · 09/07/2020 15:45

My neighbour (terraced houses) who I am really close to since lockdown and having her baby in February makes a strange ululating sound to calm her very colicky, refluxy baby, and I can hear it through the thinnish walls. It is similar to when I used to hoover to calm my colicky newborn. She makes a high pitched "lololololololo" sound whenever he cries to sort of drown him out and calm him. It clearly works as he stops crying.

Only now he is 5 months old, and still waking and crying frequently, only the crying is getting louder and so is the noise she makes. Add to this the fact that it is hot and her baby's room is next to our bedroom with both sets of windows open for coolness.

Now I am all for people calming a crying baby, as that is a terrible sound on its own, but it is getting to the point that we can barely watch tv in the evenings or go to sleep and are frequently woken at all hours by this high pitched screeching.

And to be abundantly clear, she is white and English, as are her partner, parents and grandparents. The sound she makes is exactly like I have heard at an Indian friend's wedding party, but it is clearly not cultural, just a fluke that calms her baby.

AIBU to ask her to figure out a quieter way to calm her baby, at least between 10 and 6 or 7?

I found a youtube video which is exactly the sound for a better idea of the sound.

OP posts:
Whatelsecanipossiblydo · 09/07/2020 16:51

Got to give it to her though, it’s quite a skill!!

Also, I’ve learnt a new word...

MandosHatHair · 09/07/2020 16:53

I wonder if she is any relation to the poster who screamed in the Sistine chapel Grin

YANBU OP, I wouldn't like it either, I would make sure she knows that the crying in itself isn't a problem.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 09/07/2020 16:57

Would you consider buying her a Hoover?

MashedPotatoBrainz · 09/07/2020 17:01

Bloody hell, I'd have strangled her by now. Is she really making noise like that in the middle of the night? She's crackers.

GreyGardens88 · 09/07/2020 17:02

This thread has given me a proper laugh Grin

Namechangex10000 · 09/07/2020 17:07

Sorry but that video and imagining your scenario has me howling (in have a reallly bad day) I know it’s not funny and must be horrific for you. I think you should do it back or play saxophone badly like a po suggested

HunkyPunk · 09/07/2020 17:07

I think I would find it very difficult to live next door to someone producing that sound on a regular basis! Not sure how you could broach the subject diplomatically though. "Hi X. Just wondering if you'd consider lowering the volume of your ululation in the evenings, as it often drowns out our TV?"

Ishihtzuknot · 09/07/2020 17:07

I hate this sort of thing when people try to cover the baby’s cries or force them into being quiet, it’s obviously not working or she wouldn’t have to do it for very long or often.
Can you start with a friendly chat asking how baby is etc and offer tips, rather than pouncing in telling her to shut up that annoying sound however tempting it is.
White noise machines are useful at covering other sounds as a last resort, I’m sure she won’t be doing this when baby is a toddler/sleeping through.
Alternatively can you and dh learn how to do it and have a go during the night waking her up Grin

Cheeseandwin5 · 09/07/2020 17:09

Does it actually work to stop the baby crying.

I think its built in to mothers to try to comfort a crying a baby and if it works than they will continue.

Off course YANBU, but I am not sure she is either. Maybe you can help to find something else that works.

Those saying she should just leave the baby crying are being ridiculous.

ResumetonormalASAP · 09/07/2020 17:09

Oh my! I managed about a second and had to stop the video! What a racket.

Take up a musical instrument and whenever she does it start playing. When she stops you stop. Well then it will drown out the noise of her un.....etc.... which apparently drowns out the baby noise....

orangesandapplesandpearsohmy · 09/07/2020 17:11

Yeah, have a word. Someone once did that on a plane I was on in the middle of the night when her baby cried, thankfully the trolly dollys were straight on it and pointed out that the woman was keeping a whole cabin awake and set off at least 3 other kids crying!

Namechangex10000 · 09/07/2020 17:16

@Bluetrews25

Get her to try a cymbal clash next! Or an old fashioned squeezy car horn. Or popping a balloon. Or dropping a plate on a hard floor. It's not a very kind way to stop a baby crying. How about giving it what it needs instead? (Assuming baby is crying for a reason, big assumption, I know.)
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/07/2020 17:21

My DH is North African and most of his family still live there. My SIL do this at parties often all of them together. It gave me a heck of a shock the first time.

littlemissminor · 09/07/2020 17:21

I'm sorry I have nothing to add but I am CRYING at the video GrinGrin

Holothane · 09/07/2020 17:30

That would do my head in you poor thing.

NotIncandescentWithRage · 09/07/2020 17:33

Da fuq???

Weirdo neighbour alert 🚨

Hugsgalore · 09/07/2020 17:42

I am actually on knots laughing at that sound! I'd have gone off my rocker by now if I was you!!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/07/2020 17:46

You need some lovely brass wind chimes. She is clearly trying to scare her baby into being quiet - same as the PP who mentioned sneezing, which is quite an aggressive-sounding sudden noise if you don't understand the context. Babies don't usually cry for no reason - has she tried cuddling, feeding or changing him, instead of just drowning him out?

I'm intrigued by the cultures that use this for various celebrations - what is it intended to signify or convey?

Shedbuilder · 09/07/2020 17:47

I had a neighbour who at 6.30am every morning started his day by snorting water up his nose from a neti pot and gargling and spitting and choking for about 15 minutes. It's supposed to help sinus problems and it's a nightmare for anyone whose bedroom window is just a couple of feet away from the neighbour's bathroom window.

For months I would calmly ask him if he would keep it down, put off doing it till later, go into another room to do it — anything to ensure that I wasn't woken by a sound like someone choking to death in the next room. He was very pleasant but he couldn't/ wouldn't stop. Finally one day at 6.30am I broke, went outside in my dressing gown hammered at his door and screamed at him to shut up, I couldn't take it any more and I was going to get the council's noise abatement department involved. Very embarrassing. I don't do things like that. But it worked.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 09/07/2020 17:49

I'm crying 😂😂 how does that calm her baby?!

FatherBrownsBicycle · 09/07/2020 17:49

How does her own partner put up with it?
I think if I heard her doing that at 3 am I’d be banging in the wall!

WeeMadArthur · 09/07/2020 17:56

I suggest joining in with a Tarzan call every time you hear her, maybe she will get the hint that noise travels.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 09/07/2020 18:01

@weemadarthur I like that Grin
Could you record it and play it back, through the wall, as soon as she stops warbling?

Immigrantsong · 09/07/2020 18:01

OP the question is what would you rather have: a crying baby or the ulalating? I actually would prefer the ulalating, but it is also a cultural phenomenon I grew up with. I would rather a bit of that rather than other sounds, such as neighbours drinking or kids shrieking. But if it bothers you please speak to them and see what they say.