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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!

203 replies

Confrontayshunme · 09/07/2020 15:45

My neighbour (terraced houses) who I am really close to since lockdown and having her baby in February makes a strange ululating sound to calm her very colicky, refluxy baby, and I can hear it through the thinnish walls. It is similar to when I used to hoover to calm my colicky newborn. She makes a high pitched "lololololololo" sound whenever he cries to sort of drown him out and calm him. It clearly works as he stops crying.

Only now he is 5 months old, and still waking and crying frequently, only the crying is getting louder and so is the noise she makes. Add to this the fact that it is hot and her baby's room is next to our bedroom with both sets of windows open for coolness.

Now I am all for people calming a crying baby, as that is a terrible sound on its own, but it is getting to the point that we can barely watch tv in the evenings or go to sleep and are frequently woken at all hours by this high pitched screeching.

And to be abundantly clear, she is white and English, as are her partner, parents and grandparents. The sound she makes is exactly like I have heard at an Indian friend's wedding party, but it is clearly not cultural, just a fluke that calms her baby.

AIBU to ask her to figure out a quieter way to calm her baby, at least between 10 and 6 or 7?

I found a youtube video which is exactly the sound for a better idea of the sound.

OP posts:
missymousey · 09/07/2020 19:26

Buy her a Euan the dream sheep

Timetospare · 09/07/2020 19:34

@Confrontayshunme

The question is: what do I SAY?

"Pardon me, but your ululating is bothering our sleep?"
Or
"Hey, that weird noise has made my cat claw my thighs multiple times from upset! Knock it off!"

I just feel really bad because her DP left her with a three week old with reflux, six cats and a year old Jack Russell puppy at the beginning of lockdown, and she has had no interaction with any other parents or health visitors. I know she is just doing whatever it take to get by, but I am loopy from it.

So you go round and say “ hello how are things going? Fancy a coffee? I found it really hard being a new mum, do you need any help? Walking the puppy, minding the baby when you have a shower? “ Sorry of being thoughtful and then when you know what’s going on, pick it up from there. Just a thought
Timetospare · 09/07/2020 19:36

Sort of, not sorry

GoshHashana · 09/07/2020 19:46

I'm married to a Middle Eastern guy and there was ululating at my wedding... fine for a few minutes but it would drive me fucking mental if it was any more frequent. What is this woman thinking? Surely it doesn't calm the baby.

MillyDilly · 09/07/2020 20:03

Just as disturbing is the fact that 19% of people who voted here are on the side of the ululator. Perhaps they sooth their babies like that too?

LunchBoxPolice · 09/07/2020 20:06

Bloody hell no wonder the poor little bastard cries

netflixismysidehustle · 09/07/2020 20:10

The mum is clearly a fan of Shakira's ululating at the Super Bowl.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 09/07/2020 20:11

Note in the door. Stop screaming during the night please. Thanks

puzzledpiece · 09/07/2020 20:20

Would the continuous crying be worse though?

youhave4substitutes · 09/07/2020 20:26

Omg. I was about to tell you to get a grip and remember that your Hoover was probably as annoying.

The I watched the YouTube clip. Christ on a bike.

Move house. It's the only thing you can do 😂

lookatmememe · 09/07/2020 20:30

Record her then take it around and play it back and say to her what would she do if her neighbour was making this racket ?

Realsunkissedtan · 09/07/2020 20:34

Came here to know what ululating means but blimey! Wasn't expecting that. That sound is terrifying on it's own...as a means to calm a baby...late at night or early in the morning. Shocked to silence?

I know a very similar sound though used in a cultural dance...during the day...when everyone is expecting it. Sounds great then.

JustMeAndMyTins · 09/07/2020 20:37

Only on page 1 but so far @Iamthewombat and @emmathedilemma have given the best advice.

I mean what fuckery is this?!

Also, I’m not as smart as I thought because I had no idea what ululating is until I watched the clip!

Realsunkissedtan · 09/07/2020 20:38

I actually have a headache now after listening to the clip. Must be awful for you OP.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 09/07/2020 20:38

I'm all for shouting Shut the fuck up!
Then when she says he's only a baby just say you didn't mean him!

Realsunkissedtan · 09/07/2020 20:50

Do you think the baby looks like this when mum starts ululating?

WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!
Realsunkissedtan · 09/07/2020 20:50

Or like this?

WIBU to ask neighbour to stop ululating?!
Thehop · 09/07/2020 20:50

“Hi jean. Just checking how you are? I know you’re on your own and you’re doing a great job but it must be hard. I couldn’t help but notice that crazy noise you make for little John. I wonder if it’s actually just frightening him into silence? It really freaks me out, and must be killing your throat. Is it worth trying white noise or brown noise? Or letting me help a bit? You must be knackered”

CasuallyFeminine · 09/07/2020 20:54

I was going to say YABU and it's got to be better than a crying baby, but after watching the video, YANBU, that's a horrendous noise.

Jagsy · 09/07/2020 20:55

Wasn’t expecting that sound when I watched the video! It must be very disturbing for you. However I am Indian and never have I heard that sound at any Indian wedding I have attended.

Jagsy · 09/07/2020 20:56

YANBU by the way

mathanxiety · 09/07/2020 21:14

Is she s single parent? (You mention ex partner).

Does she have any support? This is really bad for the baby.

WhitbyGoth · 09/07/2020 21:19

She can calm her baby any way she likes OP, Yabu, or would you rather she left the baby to scream and cry all night? Goodness me

Pinkyandthebrainz · 09/07/2020 21:40

Horrific Grin Grin Grin

Alwaysinpain · 09/07/2020 21:48

@Dontstepinthecowpat

I’m so glad I didn’t open that link in the office, the place would have evacuated!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🚨🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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