So pubs and restaurants can open but partners coming to scans are still a big no no?!

[Dee96]

I'm just so infuriated by this and cant believe no one else has picked up on it. I'm not one to complain, and I understand that the economy needs the pick me up but I just think the government has their priorities all wrong. Yet again their actions are based on their best interests, and are completely money orientated. I dont understand how pubs have opened up without the compulsory need to wear a mask or take any precautions other than a pathetic attempt at social distancing that lasted no time at all, yet my partner still cant come with me to my scan? And before people argue that this isnt a big deal, maybe not for some no. But for some women scans are an anxiety driven time during an already scary situation, and the need for emotional and physical support of a partner is crucial, especially for those that dont get good get news. Why is the farther of these babies still viewed as a plus and an outsider to these medical needs, they should be included as part of the package deal along with the mother. They have every right to be there. I understood and had patience at first when everything else was on lockdown and this restriction was implemented, but now I cant rationalise it anymore. Surely someone going out to drink and standing next to a complete stranger of a different household poses more of a risk than my partner being allowed in, at a safe distance, wearing a mask whilst I have my scans. I really just had to get this off my chest since I feel it's so injust and us first times mums really mean nothing. It's bad enough were so vulnerable during this time, and miss out on certain appointments/care but for our needs to be pushed aside for the sake of a pint really gets to me. I had my 20 week scan yesterday and felt like walking right up to the reception to demand an explanation, the only thing stopping me was I knew it wasnt right to take out my frustration on the poor people that are doing their best to work for us during this time.

I agree with you OP. I have recently written to my local MP regarding maternity care during this pandemic. I am due to give birth in 8 weeks & still my DP can’t attend until I am in “active labour”.. if I am induced (first baby so highly likely) that could be days! Then once baby is born dad has to leave? If baby is in NICU no dads visiting, leaving mum to carry that burden alone whilst recovering from labour. But don’t worry I can go to the pub with my DP as soon as we’re discharged from hospital

100%. It's absolutely not the hospital staff's fault but I completely understand what you mean. Money motivates more than morality.

The thing about pubs reopening is that it's essential in order to get the economy going. A lot of people work in pubs and these people need jobs to go to. It's not a like for like situation.

I agree. I was sad for pregnant women and their partners at the beginning but understood the rationale. Now it makes me angry.

My DP hasn't been allowed to attend scans so far, but the 20 week scan revealed a slight abnormality, had another scan days after that but have been told he is allowed to the next one!

It’s hard though because hospitals are understandably trying to keep the numbers down. That’s why so many appointments are still being done virtually and why when appointments can take place or when someone is an inpatient visitors are very limited.

I think things will start to relax soon but so do get why they are keeping the amount of people they have arojnd as low as possible

sadly it's not comparable..nhs care is pretty much still essential only.
A scans of purpose is to check for anomalies not a.chance to see your baby.

All those people going to the pub have made the decision to take the risk. The other women attending maternity appointments have no choice, nor do their newborns, who certainly wouldn't be rocking up to the pub, anytime soon.

Of course the Father shouldn't be seen as part of medical needs, unless the Mother has a mental health issue.

The problem is the people who won't wear masks etc. Just like the people who don't move in the waiting room for pregnant women to sit down. Or take their time in the toilet by the waiting areas. Read the stories of the experiences on the maternity wards.

@SamSeabornforPresident I recognise this and addressed it in my op. However it doesnt make it any more right, if anything it goes to show that money is placed over the welfare of pregnant women. Yes pubs provide some peoples livelihoods, but medical attention is also just as important and are peoples wellbeing were talking about here. I'm not saying these places shouldn't be open, although I do feel like it's too soon but that's another matter, rather than that my point is if these places can open despite them being more of a risk, why cant the government allow the simple thing of partners being allowed to be part of a process they rightful should be included in. What would they lose? Nothing. Instead it's being pushed second best and neglected over the need of people wanting haircuts, and that's where I think its completely wrong. What was stopping them from changing this restriction on the 4th along with everything else?

I totally agree. Me and my husband's first baby. He saw the 12 week scan and hasn't seen her since. But it's ok because I can go to Primark. I know it's about keeping people safe but what about me? Selfishly that's how I feel. We lost 2 last year and everytime I go to the midwife I'm anxious and worried and could do with my husband but can't. Im due in 8 weeks and just hope things have changed

I totally agree. Me and my husband's first baby. He saw the 12 week scan and hasn't seen her since. But it's ok because I can go to Primark. I know it's about keeping people safe but what about me? Selfishly that's how I feel. We lost 2 last year and everytime I go to the midwife I'm anxious and worried and could do with my husband but can't. Im due in 8 weeks and just hope things have changed

And the other issue hospital clinics just don’t have the space.

I had to take DS to an appontment at the hospital recently. Where the waiting room would normally sit about 50 people at the moment they can seat about 18. In order to keep people safe they have had to reduce the capacity so of course they only want patients in at the moment

I appreciate it must be awful, pregnancy is a worrying time without all of this. However try thinking of it this way.
A pregnant woman with lots of health issues has no need to visit a pub. They must visit the hospital for their care and to deliver.
Therefore hospitals need to be kept as safe as possible for those reasons. It would be entirely unacceptable for a pregnant woman to catch covid from attending a scan. Minimising people in and out of the department will reduce the risk of this.

Pubs and cafes etc opening keeps the economy going. People work, buy things and pay tax. This tax funds the health service.

So let those who are Unlikely to become seriously unwell go out and support the economy.
Keep places like hospitals and Maternity clinics as safe as possible for the people who need them and have no choice whether they go or not.
This country will have some serious debt to pay back and we need the economy going to do that and to pay for healthcare and other public services.
It’s not about the right to a pint of beer And making money being prioritised over a pregnant womans well-being. They have to think about what’s best for the whole population.

@IKEA888 but it's not just scans being restricted. It's also births. Women are going through labour alone and only being allowed company during the final hour. It's not just about 'viewing a baby on a screen', it's all these precious moments you never get back, hearing the babies heartbeat, seeing them for the first time, finding out the gender, all these things that get missed for the father. The thing that makes it so much worse is there is no need for it to be missed in the first place. Personally, from having a private scan where my partner was allowed with me vs a nhs one the experience was extremely different in every way. During my scans with the nhs I get stressed beforehand, I dread it, its not enjoyable or magical, it's a scary vulnerable time where I feel alone. I'm a first time mum and everything is new and unexpected for me, sitting in that maternity waiting room feels alienating and I come out feeling emotionally overwhelmed but during my private scan I was at ease and in consequence actually able to appreciate seeing my girl. I loved having my partner beside me, and I loved the fact that he was able to see her even more.

Money motivates more than morality

Do you not think it is because the impact of carrying infection into a hospital is potentially so much greater? Hospitals need to isolate themselves as much as possible.

I may be wrong, but have the government said that partners can't come to scans? Or is that your hospital being cautious?

It's easy to to blame 'the government' but it seems to me that sometimes the rules/laws are being interpreted differently by different groups/organisations.

@Catmanduu I see your point and it helps me put reason to all of this. I still think if the father is from the same household it doesnt really put any additional risk on pregnant women, but there are plenty of women with partners they dont live with and having to figure out who can come and who would be excluded from this would be exhausting as theres no real proof for that. It's just a shame it had to be this way. Hopefully this will all change very soon

@poshme I'm assuming since the nhs are run/controlled by the uk goverment through the department of health they have a say in this and what goes

@IKEA888 “A scans of purpose is to check for anomalies not a.chance to see your baby”

I couldn’t agree more. And if there was an abnormality I would have needed my husband there for support far more than I would have needed to nip to the local beer garden. And my husband should have been able to be there, it’s his child too.

I have said over and over how I do not understand this, DH and I share a bed every night, the fact he wasn’t allowed into my 20 week scan (at a 2m distance from the sonographer and in PPE) seemed ludicrous at the start of April. I have no idea how I would have coped if there had been bad news (I didn’t luckily. Last year my cousin had appalling news at their 20 week. I was terrified).

I’m 35 weeks pregnant now and praying things can change a little in the next 5 weeks. The fact we could go mingle in the pub and DH can’t visit the post natal ward - despite living with me, and (hopefully) having attended the birth - seems ludicrous.

@Dee96 but it isn't 'the government' who will necessarily make these rules.
Yes- the gov makes rules-either 'guidance' (not legally enforceable by police'
Or law - enforceable by police.
But most likely that your CCG (clincal commissioning group) will have decided these rules. It'll be based on their interpretation of gov guidance, but I can't find anything from the gov about not alowing partners to scans.
(My work is gov related)
Plenty of guidance about pubs, nothing that I can find (so far) about pregnancy scans.

Birth outcomes have found to be directly positively affected by the presence of a trusted birth partner. So it's actually medically beneficial to mother and baby to have a birth partner throughout the birth process. It's not just about Dad seeing the scan, etc.

www.who.int/reproductivehealth/companion-during-labour-childbirth/en/

In the nicest possible way, I think Yabu.

I have given birth during lockdown and my partner missed a variety of appointments including checks for reduced movement. A very worrying time but I understood that for those unfortunate mothers and babies who have underlying health conditions, me being alone helped keep them safe as well as keeping staff safe.

If you were in their position I’m sure you would only want the same for you and your baby.

@topoftheshops thank you for adding the link, I’ve seen that said but really helpful to have a resource.

Maybe because hospitals are generally full of very ill people

You should all be asking your midwife to show you the gov rules saying your partner can't attend.
And if they can't get you that (I don't think it exists)
Then ask for the CCG rules.

And challenge it. There is NOTHING in the law which says you can't have partner with you for scans or birth.

If you live together, you & partner are an Equal risk to staff. (Space is an issue, and social distancing is tricky when space is low)
But there are no laws specifically snoot birth partners.