So pubs and restaurants can open but partners coming to scans are still a big no no?!

[Dee96]

I'm just so infuriated by this and cant believe no one else has picked up on it. I'm not one to complain, and I understand that the economy needs the pick me up but I just think the government has their priorities all wrong. Yet again their actions are based on their best interests, and are completely money orientated. I dont understand how pubs have opened up without the compulsory need to wear a mask or take any precautions other than a pathetic attempt at social distancing that lasted no time at all, yet my partner still cant come with me to my scan? And before people argue that this isnt a big deal, maybe not for some no. But for some women scans are an anxiety driven time during an already scary situation, and the need for emotional and physical support of a partner is crucial, especially for those that dont get good get news. Why is the farther of these babies still viewed as a plus and an outsider to these medical needs, they should be included as part of the package deal along with the mother. They have every right to be there. I understood and had patience at first when everything else was on lockdown and this restriction was implemented, but now I cant rationalise it anymore. Surely someone going out to drink and standing next to a complete stranger of a different household poses more of a risk than my partner being allowed in, at a safe distance, wearing a mask whilst I have my scans. I really just had to get this off my chest since I feel it's so injust and us first times mums really mean nothing. It's bad enough were so vulnerable during this time, and miss out on certain appointments/care but for our needs to be pushed aside for the sake of a pint really gets to me. I had my 20 week scan yesterday and felt like walking right up to the reception to demand an explanation, the only thing stopping me was I knew it wasnt right to take out my frustration on the poor people that are doing their best to work for us during this time.

Pubs are open because vulnerable people have the option of not going as socialising in a pub is a preference or a want not a need

Hospitals aren’t open because vulnerable people Need to be there.

• so someone like a cancer patient is not likely to be able to avoid going to the hospital but could avoid going to the pub.

Hospitals provide life saving care that people need. Pubs don’t.

In the grand scheme of what everyone is dealing with: kids losing 6 months education, hospital appointments being cancelled, sole traders losing their livelihoods, I cannot get angry about this (and I’m pregnant).
Nhs has a duty of care to the mother and baby, it’s safer for them and the hospital staff to have less people entering the building.
I disagree re: labour and think partners should be there from the beginning though.

It's down to the impact if there were an outbreak amongst the staff.

If pub/restaurant/hairdresser had to close, it might be damned inconvenient and expensive for the proprietor. But that's it.

If a scanning or other clinical department had to close or sharply reduce services (because of insufficient staff as they are ill/isolating) then the knock on effects are significant and, in a worst case, have detrimental health impacts. Especially as they're pared back already.

Risk assessments cover not just the likelihood of the event, but also the impact. And the impact of consequences of amongst HCPs should not be overlooked

Well that's the tories for you.

I think YABU but to be honest I've never got the whole "partner needs to come to scan" anyway. When I was pregnant my son's dad didn't come to the 20 week scan because he couldn't get the time off work, I wasn't bothered.

I think it's different hospitals. While my husband got to attend our 12 week scan he couldn't come to any others.
However he was, allowed to be there for my c section and to settle me on the ward after. He was also allowed to visit between 1 and 5 every afternoon so I think the rules are changing depending where you are. In 8 weeks could be totally different.

@Goosefoot

I think it's ridiculous comparing having a scan with going to the pub or Primark. I also don't see the relevance of you sharing the same bed with your partner, I'm not sharing it with you and nor are the other women in the waiting room.

I think the OPs point is that it is ridiculous.

I am not sure how you don't understand the relevance that the two people come from the same household.

Yes but if there are two people from the same household attending, that's twice the risk!

(And half the available space in the waiting room)

It is doubling the risk by having two people instead of one. Even if you are from the same household, it doesn't really matter- my friends husband got Covid, she cared for him at home and she has had an antibody test and she didn't get it! So it is possible for one person in a household to have Covid and the other not to. Hospitals are full of vulnerable people, pubs are not.

@Dee96, well, they're doubling the number of people in the waiting room, and the number of people the radiographer sees, and the receptionists see; the number of people who touch chairs, and doors, and handrails; the number of people who use toilets, and water fountains; often couples will arrive in two cars, so I'd suggest the impact may be significant.

I'd have been disappointed if my DP couldn't have come to scans with me, but I don't necessarily think it's a right, and am fed up with everything being compared to pubs opening. They are different things, with different considerations and different risk factors.

Look, I know it’s hard.

I’m 32 weeks pregnant myself. I’m having a section that might actually kill me due to some complications left over from the last two (that I didn’t know about until it was picked up this time). I have to have scans and consultant appointments every two weeks where they constantly ram what might happen down my throat. I’ve been alone for each one. I have to drive myself home from hospital in tears thinking of how I might leave my older two without a mother.

I’ll be having my section alone as well. Dh will have to be at home with the older two. Our family refuse
To social distance or be careful in anyway so we have no other childcare. It sucks but it is what it is.

But it’s just the way it is at the moment. I feel safer that there are only women in the waiting area because if I end up with covid at the time of birth then it probably would be game over for me for sure, not just ‘might’.

Pregnancy is a worrying time on the whole. But with everything that’s going on now, it is a case of just trying to keep everyone as safe as possible.

However @3cats that’s appalling about the stillbirth situation. For that there should be leniency.

"I’ll be having my section alone as well. Dh will have to be at home with the older two. Our family refuse
To social distance or be careful in anyway so we have no other childcare."

Can't you just get a babysitter?!

At the risk of being outing, I have been to several scans all very real chance of MMC and I have another one which would likely have this outcome. If by some miracle my child hasn't died I will be consultant led. All of these appointments will most likely be alone and scans have all be alone. To me the safety of the staff and the other pregnant women in the unit, who could be more vulnerable is worth more than me not wanting to receive bad news alone. It might be a strange way of viewing things but the more people in the waiting areas and confined spaces within the sonography room could cause an increase in the spread. The appointments would be reduced so that cleaning can take place after every appointment too.
Having support would be great but not at the risk of spreading or getting the disease, the damage I have seen first hand with a family member having it. It isn't comparable to healthy people going to the pub in any way shape or form

@NameChange30

"I’ll be having my section alone as well. Dh will have to be at home with the older two. Our family refuse To social distance or be careful in anyway so we have no other childcare."

Can't you just get a babysitter?!

No. I may end up in ICU. If that happens then my eldest is an older teen, he can look after my 5 year old.I don’t want to risk Dh Or the children catching anything.

I’ve made peace with the fact I’ll be on my own. Ds knows the situation and Will be worrying. I want Dh here with him, not with me.

I agree its very frustrating

it's all these precious moments you never get back, hearing the babies heartbeat, seeing them for the first time, finding out the gender, all these things that get missed Sorry I think all of that is sentimental mush.

I think I’m the only one who has really enjoyed being able to go to the hospital and have scans without having to faff with a partner there.

I totally agree with you.

Slightly different, but my mum is waiting for an urgent CT scan, but been told there is a lengthy wait (despite being an urgent case). So people can go to Primark, go to cinemas from 31st July, but not get hospital appointments?!

It’s sad they can’t attend, 33weeks here, but I would rather the staff safe & healthy though. DH could have come to my 12 week but owing to last minute illness we couldn’t get a babysitter. Although at my anomaly I had 4 sonographers and 3 at my last growth scan. That said I am terrified about being alone in hospital after delivery owing to issues with my first needing scbu and me still being strapped to the bed but we will hopefully make it through and be home with less risks of Covid than with double the people around on the wards

[quote Dee96]@Catmanduu I see your point and it helps me put reason to all of this. I still think if the father is from the same household it doesnt really put any additional risk on pregnant women, but there are plenty of women with partners they dont live with and having to figure out who can come and who would be excluded from this would be exhausting as theres no real proof for that. It's just a shame it had to be this way. Hopefully this will all change very soon[/quote]
Having an additional person there does increase the risk for other people, as the partner may be already be infectious while the pregnant mother isn't yet. Also it reduces the amount of space available for social distancing, so if everyone brought a partner, they can only get half as many patients in the same space.

@Billyjoearmstrong
Fair enough. Best of luck to you, I hope all goes well

I will not be getting my haircut any time soon, I have to wear it up for work anyway. I won't be going to pubs, restaurants or shops. When I can't get a delivery I go once a week to the supermarket, very early to avoid other people.

I have been in contact, and will continue to be, with lots of people through work. It is a controlled environment where we are minimising the risk of infection, to the vulnerable group who we look after.

Halving the footfall by not allowing partners in enhances this. In my experiences a large proportion of the population have failed to grasp social distancing, correct use of ppe or generally just don't care. We are providing women with mask if they fail to bring there own. This alone would double if we had to provide them for partners as well.

If we increase exposure and experience symptoms, we will be short staffed. For what it's worth my antibody test came back negative.

It's a tough situation. For everyone.

Hospitals are very different to pubs do it's not a comparable situation.

I know you keep mentioning that the dad is from the same household so where is the risk? But it's not that simple.....this isn't the case for all couples so what do they do? Only allow dad's from the same household to attend a scan? How do you know they've been following social distancing rules anyway?

It's about reducing risk to other patients and staff. It's a medical procedure not a family outing. I get that it's sad that dad's are missing out but we're in the middle of a pandemic and the sonographer's sole concern and responsibility is with mother and baby.

It's not about denying it's about protecting the other pregnant women...
The other women attending maternity appointments have no choice, nor do their newborns, who certainly wouldn't be rocking up to the pub, anytime soon.

Indeed, they have no idea where the partners have been (to the pub perhaps or shopping) and so limit the number of people in a unit to attempt to protect all the other women.

Nowadays, you can get video of scans as well as the pictures we used to get so can see exactly what you saw - just a little later. I actually didn't take my ex husband to all my scans years ago (we only had still pics then) ... I don't know if it is an age thing but years ago irt wasn't such a big thing - they were often at work and then employers didn't allow time off for scans etc. Didn't get paternity leave either so a few days holiday leave and on with normal life....

I think the whole pregnancy thing has changed for some... the build up, the gender reveal, the whole thing so imagine that it is difficult for current day pregnant women. We were excited but got on with it until said child appeared and didn't fuss around so much. I really think using the term 'cruel' is a bit excessive... not being at a scan due to potential health implications of a virus and to attempt to protect other women isn't really 'cruel'... I'm a bit of a tough old boot though so who knows....

Stop comparing going shopping/out for a drink with visiting the hospital. One is not dependant on the other and they aren’t comparable environments.

I have felt terrible for women going through birth alone and I’m concerned for my sister. She’s had her scans alone and could end up in labour alone, depending on what things are like a couple of months down the line. She had a horrible birth followed by extremely severe PND with her first child so I’m anxious about her husband not being there with her. However, I will not be waxing lyrical about the health sector not mirroring the hospitality sector because that is more stupid than my anxieties over my sister, who I love very much.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Waxonwaxoff0 Wed 08-Jul-20 08:41:57
I think YABU but to be honest I've never got the whole "partner needs to come to scan" anyway. When I was pregnant my son's dad didn't come to the 20 week scan because he couldn't get the time off work, I wasn't bothered.

I know same here. I don't get it either, its a scan. Recorded if you want or pictures. I wasn't bothered either - I went to scan then returned to work - was all very matter of fact.